Episode 102- How to Get what you want
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You are listening to episode 102 of the peaceful mind podcast.
welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Hi there. Welcome to the podcast. And thanks so much for being here as a quick reminder at the beginning. I just want to urge you to share this podcast with your family and friends. I know that if you're loving it, you're not the only one who would also love it too. And I thank you in advance for helping spread peace to others in the world.
Okay. Today is so fun how to get what you want. So first of all, do you even know what you want? Because a lot of mamas come to me and when I say, okay, well I know what's going on with your life right now and what you're struggling with and challenge and. And what you don't have, but what is it that you actually want?
Some of them are just silent and stare at me, blankly. Like, I don't know. I haven't even asked myself, so that's where we're going to start first. I want you to take some time today or in the next week, at least don't delay any longer than that, but I want you to set a timer and just drink. And play with it first by answering these two questions, what do I really, really, really, really, really want?
And then go free. Right? Explore, dream, play. Imagine, expand your mind. Have fun. Laugh out loud. What do I really, really, really want? Let all your desires go on paper. And then this other question, which is similar, but just a little bit different is what do I secretly want? What do I secretly want? When I talked to my coach about my business goals for this year, I told him.
And at first she said, you know, you're always like a little wimpy with your goals. And so I said, yes, I might need to coach on that. But I loved that. She said, I want you to pick something that, you know, stretches you, but that you maybe secretly want that you sheet that I just didn't want to say out loud to her, but that was okay.
She was fine with me picking something and holding it secret in my heart and not sharing it. But she still, what I thank her for is she still allowed my brain to go to that secret place and, and dream. And it kind of like expand and think about it for a while. And I do visit that dream secret goal a lot.
And I know that it is. Even though it's secret. And I haven't said it to anyone, it is on its way to happening. And so that's what I want you to do first, if you want to get what you want, which is what today's topic is about. We had to start first with you getting clear on what that is and what, not just like what you want.
Oh, I really want a clean house and I want my kids to not be so wild at bedtime, et cetera, et cetera. But what do you really, really, really want? And I want you to think about this and we were coming off of. A series of few podcasts back about the difference between that. There's you? Like, what do you want?
And then there's your role as a mom and you can also just make sure that you've got plenty in both categories. Okay. So that's first what I wanted to start out, letting you know, get clear on what it is you want make a list and then have your secret once. Okay, second. What I want you to know when you are going after what you want before we pursue it, we want to first learn to love where you are.
Having that place of appreciation and gratitude of whatever's happening in your life in the present moment is essential to getting what you want. Because from this place of loving where you are, it's so much like more pursuable is the word that just came to my mind to go after something better than where you are.
And changing where you are or something different or growing yourself to something new that you want. So if you're going to go after and pursue better and change and different in growth, you want to first love where you are. And that also takes a similar path to you doing the first exercise, which was to dream and to play first and to secretly.
Think about what it is that you want and really, really want, like, and I suggested writing it down because man, when things get out of your head and onto paper, it is it's starting that, that, that it's just got a power to it. And I do recommend if you want to tell somebody else right. To tell somebody else what you want, because that also gives a little bit more foundation and umph to it, right.
Take the, do the second exercise and you might want to write this down of why do you love where you are right now? Why is it that you're already whole and worthy and that you actually don't need to change or things don't need to be different or better? That they're great right now. And if you send your brain looking for how that's true, it'll find it for.
But from that place, then you can decide that you want better or that you want to change, that you want different when you have a better idea of what you desire since you know your wants. Now, I want you to look at it from the perspective that desires are God given that they're placed in our heart by our heavenly father.
And it's okay to go after our desires that were placed there by him. And that it's not selfish to focus on yourself and your wants and your desires, because if you are doing something that selfish, it's literally the way you're going about it is at the expense of others and harming others. And the majority of moms I know.
Don't do the things they want to do from that place. So know that your desires are God given and God placed and it's not selfish and it's way more than okay for you to go after what it is that you want in this. Okay. All right. And then when you're clear about your wants and desires, and you have decided that you love where you are now, and you're ready to move on and have some growth and change, and then you also have decided it's not selfish for me to do that.
Then we got to believe it's possible. Right? You got to believe it's possible for you. And as you go along the journey to get what you. We want to stop in different moments and just say, yeah, it's possible for me, right? Yep. It is. It's possible, right? Yes. It's possible. And reiterate your belief as you go along that it's possible.
We also want to prepare ourselves ahead of time to know that there will be disappointment on the way to getting what you want. There is those who want to be realistic about things. So they don't want to believe in the impossible for themselves because they want to avoid being disappointment. And that is a sure fire way of not getting what you want.
Avoiding disappointment will have you not getting what you want. Okay. Being open and knowing that disappointment will be scattered on your path on the way to get what you want. Then when it happens, it doesn't derail. You, you don't go off the path or off track or stop altogether. Disappointment is literally a feeling that you create by some thoughts and disappointment feels terrible in your body.
You might have a really tight chest and heavy shoulders and just kind of like this sinking feeling in your stomach, but you can handle disappointment. And I just don't want that feeling to stop you. So let's not learn to avoid it. Let's learn to expect it on the way to getting what you want. And it Ben, it doesn't become.
The next thing that I wanted to mention, which is obstacles, there will be obstacles on the way to getting what you want, but before you even set out to get what you want, you could come up with some strategies for those obstacles ahead of time. Right? So let's give an example. Let's say that you want to finish cleaning out the garage by the end of the week.
We want to think ahead of time, like on Friday or Thursday or whenever you're planning ahead, what might be some of the obstacles like, okay, well we have all the kids. And then what is a possible strategy for that? Well, there are some things that I don't want the kids to be in there with an S some of my kids are too small, so I'm going to get a babysitter for them so that we can get the garage clean, because that's what I want.
Notice how ahead of time you can imagine the obstacle of how. Be in the way of keeping you from getting it done. And so you have the solution, the strategy of getting a babysitter. Okay. Maybe you think that you will get distracted of finishing of cleaning the garage because your mother-in-law likes to just drop in on announced sometimes.
Well, you could see that obstacle ahead of time and come up with a strategy or solution of telling her. Or getting in touch with her that you will be out of pocket or out of touch on, on Saturday and can't, and won't be able to take visitors because you'll be in with the project of finishing the garage.
Do you see how I'm, you're just giving some thought on the way to getting to what you want. We want to give some thought about possible kind of roadblocks obstacles that would get in our way, and then we can solve for them ahead of. And so this will help you to get what you want. I want to just also mention the massive and passive action because getting what you want is going to require you taking lots of action, but don't get caught up in passive action, which is the type of things like planning out how to clean the garage, making a plan, writing it down.
Now I'm all for doing that. To some extent, but there has to be like this, this time limit, this kind of hard stop of when you're done planning and researching and consuming and asking other people and searching on Google about what kind of, you know, storage unit to get in the garage, et cetera. It'll just get to the place where if you want to done, you've got to jump into massive action and you literally just have to go in the garage with either a trash bag or a box or something and pick up something and put it in the trash or put it in the giveaway pile and just get moving.
Getting what you want will require you taking massive action. There are steps you're going to have to take that actually create a result. And I just want you to be careful to get stuck in passive action, where you're just consuming and talking about it. Let's, let's stop talking about what we want and getting into massive action and seeing results on the way to getting what we want.
This will take you double Downing on. Your self with commitment, right? Double down with commitment. If you are feeling committed about something, you're thinking a thought like I am going to do this no matter what I am going to figure out how to get this done in this timeframe. No matter what, when we are committed to something, we get it done.
So what thoughts can you think that create commitment for you in regards to what you want and then put your belief, focus your brain on those thoughts, the ones that create. And along the way of getting what you want, you're going to go after a certain result, but because you're taking massive action and you're thinking thoughts and staying in belief in your desire that create commitment and you're feeling disappointed and that's, and moving through it.
And you're having, you know, hitting the obstacles with solutions. There's going to be. I know what we call strategic byproducts, right? You're going to see in yourself, you're going to gain a confidence in yourself. You're gonna create more openness in your mind for more possibilities in your life. You're going to learn about more desires.
You're going to see what your resilience is. If you hit disappointment and hidden obstacle and overcome it, do you know how resilient and how proud of yourself you're gonna feel? There's going to be awesome. Strategic byproducts for you going after what you want. And the last thing I want to just say to you all today, when you're going after, what you want is don't be in a rush.
Anytime my clients come to me and they're like, I need to have this now. And I want this fixed now. And how can I have them stop doing this now? I'm always asking them what's the rush. When you're in a rush to get to your goals and in this case, getting your desires and what it is that you want it's because you believe that it's going to be so much better.
They're so much better in the future, or when you have the thing in your midst, in your possession, or you've created the thing. But what I know is true is that yes, it will be awful. And you will celebrate and you will like it, but there will also be you in your human life. Right then that is still half positive, half negative at times.
And so if we're in a rush to hurry up and get there, you're missing out on the first sort of point I made early on about learning to love where you are. And I want you to be a person who loves where you are, but still wants a different future. And once the change in the growth, but understand that it's important to enjoy your journey on the way to your goal.
Just as much as hitting the goal, because if you have to be miserable the whole time on your way to getting it, it really was like, you know, what's the point. Enjoy the journey of getting what you want. Don't be in a rush, savor all of your wins and celebrate along the way. Okay. So I just want to leave you with this as you create what you want.
I want you to insist on having fun along the way, just like I was mentioning to enjoy the journey. You can go after what you want and have fun along the way. At least half of the time, the other half, it might be hard and challenging, but let it be hard and challenging. Tell yourself you can do hard things.
You've done hard things in the past. You're doing challenging things now. It's okay. Don't let it hold you back, but I still want you to insist on having fun along the way. So these were just a few of my tips for you to get what you want. And even if you take one aspect of. It'll be so worth it. Okay. And let me just say too, if you're compelled to reach out, maybe on Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching and let me know what it is that you decided that you wanted, that would be so fun.
You can also always email me [email protected]. And this is all in the show notes as well. I would love for you to. To let me know to comment and tell me, did you, did you write down all the things you wanted? Did you discover something you didn't really know that you wanted? Did you have fun dreaming and come up with something that you secretly wanted?
Because the question you heard me ask on this podcast, right? Did you find appreciation for where you are in your life right now that you didn't know that you had before? Tell me about it. I would love to know. And what is that desire that God put in your heart? You can tell me with no, like, even if you think it's silly or dumb, which, you know, I hear my moms tell me that sometimes.
And I say, no, there's no silly or dumb. You have the desires you get to, what would you want just because you want it. And that is totally fine. I do just cherish and love it so much. When my listeners let me know that something on the podcast, um, you know, spurred something in them for them. It's kind of just fun.
If you want to let me know if that was something that happened for you today with this podcast. All right. Everybody go after what you want so important and I will talk to you again, same place, same time next week. Okay. Have a good one. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast.
Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own. To really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom all through a faith-filled lens to learn more about how we can work together.
Come on over to DanielleThienel.Com. There you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time. Peace be with you always.
