Episode 109- The "What If" Syndrome
[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 109 of the peaceful mind podcast.
Welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Today's is gonna be short and sweet because I think that in this case, if I say less, it's gonna have a bigger impact. I just wanna give you a question, a concept here that I just [00:01:00] want you to think about today and through the week. And just watch yourself, ask yourself this question and.
If you can turn things around what I'm calling, this is the, what if syndrome question in your life and look and see if your brain has this. The, what if syndrome? So what I mean by this? Is that whenever you're thinking about like starting a new endeavor or a goal that you want, or there's something that you realize that you don't have, that you wanna have, or life has brought you a new circumstance that, that causes you to question how you're gonna move forward.
I want you to see if you are someone who leans towards. Asking this question, what if, and then everything after those two words is more like [00:02:00] showing you how it's not gonna work. Right. And, and the, all of the obstacles that are in your way or why you shouldn't do it. So for instance, your brain might answer this question when you have a goal.
Like, I'm gonna just give you the story, uh, of when this happened to me recently. So I was asked to speak in front of a large amount of people and it was the end of July, and I hadn't really done any coaching or teaching in front of this amount of people and my brain. Went a little bit berserk with the, what if syndrome?
It said, what if you end up looking like a full, what if people don't like what you have to say? What, if you can't communicate it very well, what if you fall up the [00:03:00] stairs getting on the stage? it? It just had, it had so many what ifs, like what if you're not the right person to do this? What if you mess up and they will be recording it and it will live forever.
What if they figure out that you're just an imposter and you really don't know what you're doing? I think you get the picture here. I want you to know that your brain weighs heavily the negative. Way more than it does the positive and it is there to protect you. There's a certain part in your mind that is built to protect, or it was created to protect you.
And so it likes to tell us. Not to do scary things, vulnerable things, things that may put you in potential harm of being embarrassed or being made fun of, or if you'll like, you know, physically fall and, you know, just [00:04:00] in generally in general fail. At it, it is just wired to protect you, to keep your life kind of going smoothly.
No change in status quo to just kind of really conserve your energy in life and don't do anything that would take too much mental and emotional and physical, um, energy from you. So it made a lot of sense, right? When it just went into the, what if syndrome, but it was what if and all of the negatives. So.
I want you to realize that that that is totally normal and you're not broken. If that is happening inside of your mind. Again, it's that protective mechanism, but I want you to combat the, what if syndrome, anytime it comes up. Because this is what our brain doesn't do very often take whatever is going on in your life.
Like maybe you're thinking about having a [00:05:00] career change, maybe you're thinking of having another baby, maybe you're thinking, um, you want to, there's something that's kind of your brain's telling you is expensive and you just wanna know, or your brain's telling you not to do it. You know, what if. Don't have any money to pay for other things.
If you buy this, just, I want you to go to the other end and go to the positive part of it and think about the possibility part of it and play with your mind. That what if you don't fail? What if it is a great decision, what if it all works out? In my case, it was like, what if you transform one person's life?
What if you offer a way of thinking and thoughts to these people in the audience that they have never thought about it before, that has them [00:06:00] pivoting and, and taking steps and changing the trajectory of their life forever. What if I succeed, what if it's a huge hit? What if it's not as bad as my brain says that it will be?
What if it turns out to be the best thing I ever did or even, you know, what if I do fall and then I get. Or that I, I fail in a certain way, but what if I do learn something that's so profound for myself that changes my life forever? What if I find out that it's not really as big a deal, as I thought to kind of feel fearful or feel, feel vulnerable or to be embarrassed?
What if I'm wrong about it? in such a good way. Right. That's what I mean. [00:07:00] And so I wanted to just come on because I hear my clients come in and I hear how they hold themselves back in life when they're like, well, what if, and then anything after that is kind of like the doom gloom doesn't work out, you know?
And, and really, I tell them just as I want you to know. The only thing that you will avoid when you allow yourself to hold yourself back from the, what if with the negative part of it is a feeling, a negative feeling. That's really what you're afraid of. And I want you to know that that is not a good enough reason.
To try even to fail, to decide, to move forward, to go after your dreams, a little bit of negativity along the way is gonna happen sometimes, maybe even a lot of it, but what it does for you, what you find [00:08:00] out what you're made of what you experience. And again, oftentimes on the other side of the, what if syndrome is the, what if bliss.
Because I wanna tell you, I did speak in front of what turned out to be a total of 1600 people and the feedback, and even just getting on stage and knowing that I could do it. And hearing people say that they've never thought about it that way before. And that's so good. And I'm gonna go try this and I'm gonna remember, like I realized and saw what I was capable of.
Yeah, of course there, it wasn't perfect. And at times I was like, I watched my brain question like, okay, that wasn't good. Or I don't see on their faces. Like they're not getting it or, or whatever, but there was so much more that I learned about myself and I'm just choosing to believe that it was helpful and it [00:09:00] impact a lot of people because I get to choose.
So I want you to just contemplate this, this concept this week. Are you someone who is saying, well, what if, and then fill in the blank and it's something where your brain is seeing the negative, the doom, or concentrating on all the, the bad things that could happen. Or what you might have to feel or go through or how hard it will be.
And I want you to counteract that. I want you to go down the what ifs and it's the ones of peace, possibility, freedom, excitement, enthusiasm, that you will succeed and that you will learn and that you can be on the other side. And what if you taking that chance and going after that, something. Does bring you what you want, just what if you're wrong?
And it is something that's awesome for your [00:10:00] life. That is what I wanted to offer you today to have some thoughts around the, what if syndrome and to have you combat that right? To have you taking control of your brain and saying, no, I could be wrong. It could be the most amazing thing if I go after. Okay, everyone.
I hope you have an amazing week. And please let me know if there is a, what if that you've overcome. I would love to hear your feedback. You can definitely get in touch with me through Instagram, or you can email me. And I love to hear back from you. All of the information on how to get in contact with me is in the show notes of this podcast.
And I wanna just request to that. If you share. This podcast was someone who you think would benefit from it and please subscribe and like, and review. And I really [00:11:00] appreciate you. I hope you have an amazing week. I can't wait to come back and to offer you more ways to have a peaceful mind in your life.
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast. Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own. To really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom all through a faith-filled lens to learn more about how we can work together.
Come on over to daniellethienel.com there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time please be with you always.[00:12:00]