Episode 11
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 111 of the peaceful mind podcast.
Welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best bomb you are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Welcome listeners to the peaceful mind podcast. If you're new, I am so happy to have you with us. There has been an influx. I've been on a few other podcasts, um, lately, and that's kind of drawn some new listeners. So I'm excited to have you [00:01:00] and this topic today, um, really excited about, because I think I'm gonna use it as a speaking topic.
Um, there are a few. Speaking engagements that I have and are working on collecting more too. So the one that I want to use this one for happens to be at a Catholic parish in Texas. Um, and I'm really excited. And so anyone listening just know that if you are part of a moms group or a group where you think that the material that you hear on this podcast would be beneficial.
Um, in person, I am available for some speaking engagement. So I would love to connect with you on that. You can just reach me at, um, my email and that's always in the show notes. So the topic that I have today is how to become a cyclone mom, right. Becoming a cyclone mom. So what do I mean by this? Well, first of all, I wanna tell you the [00:02:00] definition of a Cy.
Just a really kind of, um, basic definition is it's a powerful spinning storm that contains strong winds and rain that swirls around a calm eye or another words, a calm center. And the reason I'm drawing this analogy is because a cyclone draws its power from a calm center. And so does a. The person who is feeling in control, feeling balanced, feeling steady, feeling peaceful, feeling joyful is a powerful person.
And when you learn to be able to keep cool in your head, when you learn to be able to remain calm, And steady and in control [00:03:00] when everything around you like a cyclone is going fast and it's, you know, It's raining, meaning things are just pouring on you, or you just are in what we would call the midst of a storm so much going on, just juggling everything, things coming at you from every direction.
I want you to call recall this analogy, and I want you to draw on what I'm gonna offer you today, which is the steps to be able to remain the. Of the storm to remain the calm part so that you can draw your power from that place. And that is why I want you to become a cyclone mom, because what I know to be true is that there is always going to be a storm around [00:04:00] us.
The way that I describe this is how Jesus put it in that he said that we weren't going to have a trouble free world, but not to worry because he has overcome the world. And so what I see, I see that we will always be finding ourselves during this earth life that we're living, that we will have circumstances and situations and challenges and just issues.
And things that we don't like and, and people we don't mesh with and natural disasters and all types of things to deal with. Right. All we have to do is turn on the news and see that that's going on in the world at large. And then when you just think about your families and your own community, or your, or inside your own home, right.
There's just always something. [00:05:00] That could upset us that could take us out of balance and have us not remaining calm. It can be something as simple, like for myself the other day, when I just woke up and I found these electric workers for electricity in my yard. and, and that, that was like, I was unexpected and what are they doing there?
And, and what's gonna happen and are they gonna make a mess? And that's kind of like what happened, or maybe it's something like we have, you know, a car accident or we get an unexpected bill or we can't help our, our child right now is having difficulty in. There's just so much, right. You all can. Right now think if we were to put your mind there on what it is with your storm.
I mean, even if right now it all, everything does seem fine. Right? We just. There's always so much we [00:06:00] could be looking at and doing right, like taking care of our, um, families, all of our kids, let's say our extended family. We've got our spiritual life and church and we're trying to be healthy and do the physical life.
And then we want, we have our house to take care of and we need to spend our time, um, you know, cultivating our friendships and relationships. And I mean, just so much. Things when you have multiple children and the activities, or let's say you've decided to go back to school and I could just go on and on.
If we are looking about what it is that is happening outside of us. And if we are right now, believing that. There's gonna be one day where none of that is going on. I really think that this is where we hold ourselves back, where I just want you to step into what if it's always [00:07:00] going to be a spinning storm outside around me.
And if that is the case, if I happen to, if it happens to be true, that you're, there's always gonna be an option to juggle so much. There's always gonna be an option for you to go, go, go. There's always gonna be an option for you to be busy, because there are plenty of things out there to keep you busy.
And if we've built a habit of just being in the storm, part of the cycl. . And what I want you to know is that we're not after never having the storm. We are after being the center. We are after being the calm we, this is, this is where all of your power lies is choosing to be the center. Of the [00:08:00] storm and the, there are a few ways where we can take our mind away from that's happening all outside of us and concentrate on ourselves and where.
Our most powerful place is to have the life. We want to have the feelings. We want to have the things we want to show up as the mom that we wanna be to be able to have like this clarity and calm about our life and do things deliberately and with intention and purpose. And we can only do that from the center of.
Cyclone. And this is an internal job. This is what I want you to see that when I describe that the center being calm, consists of [00:09:00] coming from your mind and your heart. So your internal life, I call it in your. The thoughts you have in your brain and the feelings that you have in your heart. And this is what constitutes the internal life.
This is what makes up the, the center of the cyclone. And then it's everything outside of ourselves is in that part of the storm that is always circling us. okay. So these are what I want you to focus on, on how to always come back to being in the calm in the center of the storm. Number one, if you are a believer in God, as I am, then we want to be rooted in God's [00:10:00] presence and his peace.
So as a faith focused, And mom, I have to recall that God's peace is available to me at any and all moments. So am I practicing calling upon it? Am I drawing from it every single day. What do I have in place that just has me anchored and rooted and grounded in my faith, knowing that his presence is there and that if I need to feel peace and calm and stay in a state.
That doesn't have me going into the storm, but keeps me into the center of the cyclone. I will have to have the habit of calling on him regularly, right? [00:11:00] Because you won't find him in the midst of the spinning storm. You will find him in the calm and he will help you be more calm. So this is a whisper of his name.
This is a prayer. This is reading God's word. This is loving another. This is having consciousness that you were created in his image. And when we think of God's image, we think of someone who is quiet and surrendered and peaceful and gentle and loving. Right. And so we want. Be Christlike as much as possible.
So if you find yourself all of a sudden being bombarded with something in life that you didn't expect, or you just find yourself overwhelmed and in the midst of the busyness and just feeling hustled and exhausted and [00:12:00] frazzled and all of that, remember number one to be a cyclone, to be the center of the cyclone is think about Christ, draw on your faith.
and it, even if you all don't share the same faith as I do, that's okay. Just relate to what it is. That is your source. If it's even going for a walk and being in nature, if it's meditation, if it is doing some service for another human being, if it is just closing your eyes and taking 10 deep breaths. how you connect.
Just in my example, it is through my faith, my Catholicism, which has me drawing on prayer to the holy Trinity to call on the holy spirit. A lot of times the saints and. [00:13:00] Just even, like I said before, the simplicity of whispering Jesus name or going just to an, our father or a hail Mary, right. We want to be a person who, when things get kind of crazy for us in our life, that we come back to the most peaceful and calm place, which is the arms of Christ.
The second way to be a cyclone mom is to use the tool, the number one tool of awareness that I have used to change my life and countless other mom's life. And it is the main tool that I have that I used for my clients. And I talk about it extensively here on the podcast, but it's called the self coaching model.
And what this is is that this is a [00:14:00] way to actually just simplify. What's go. What goes on in the universe as a whole. It just helps you understand things and just get more of a, uh, perspective when things feel very out of control when they feel like they're spinning. When you just feel like you're have you're in the midst of the storm, part of the cyclone.
So what the model clarifies is that there are just five categories that we can place anything around us that's happening. So it's either one of these five things. It's a circumstance. It's a thought, it's a feeling it's an action or it's a result. So the way to get some traction to stop the spinning and to return to this calm center is to just ask yourself with all the things going on in my life.
Where do I put. Everything that's going on [00:15:00] into one of these five categories. It's either going to be a fact, a circumstance of your life. It's gonna be a thought that you're thinking in your mind, it's going to be a feeling, a feeling that you've created that you have in your body, or it's gonna be an action that you're taking, or it's gonna be an actual result that you have created.
I can immediately, when I even just stop and determine and ask myself this question and I can be like, all right, wait a minute. So let's just say I got this, um, this text from your, my child's teacher at school. And I find myself just really feeling, getting really upset. And then I get up and I go talk to my husband and I say, Ugh, I can't believe that.
My child is doing this again. And then, you know, I'm so tired. The teacher keeps telling me this, but I keep trying to [00:16:00] work it out. We just don't feel like we're getting anywhere. Okay. So that part of the, my life right now is the outside swirling, raining, gusty wind part of the cyclone, but I wanna. A cyclone mom, I wanna be the center of a cyclone and I wanna draw my power from this calm center.
So this is where I would ask myself, okay, what is happening here? And what part of the model does it all fit into? And so with this example, the email that I saw, or the text that came through, whichever I said for the example, Is the actual fact and circumstance that happened, it's literally, it's not good or bad.
It just is. It's a neutral circumstance that comes at us in life. This is kind of like, you know, if it's a storm comes [00:17:00] and it's raining outside, it's, it's literally just, you didn't do anything. It just came. And that's what it is. It's just a fact that it's raining. So in this instance, I got the email and then I had a thought about it.
I had the thought, oh no, this isn't going to be good. This isn't good for us. And so that is a thought, so I can just go ahead and get a little bit calmer knowing like, okay, that is a thought that's not true. But when I think that it does create stress in my body. And so this is when I can feel like, all right, what am I feeling about this right now?
I'm feeling stressed. Then when I'm stressed, what do I do? Oh, I got up and I paced around and I called for my husband. And then I started talking and telling to him all, and then what did I create? Right. I created that I was [00:18:00] more stressed about. Being stressed. And I actually help create more people in my family to be stressed when I know the five steps of the model and I, or the five categories of the model.
And then I recognize that I'm finding myself being stressed and everything's swirling on the outside. I can immediately find a more calmer place when I see the different aspects and categories. I decide, okay. Some of them are optional and I now can gain my control by deciding do I wanna think that way about the email, the email came that happened?
I'm not arguing with that. Right. But to keep the calm center, I can decide how do I wanna show. How do I wanna feel about this email? What do I wanna choose to think about it? And I want to choose and draw from what will give me a calm center. [00:19:00] I, I wanna think I've got this. Everything's gonna be okay. We just need to answer it.
How do I wanna, um, answer it in a way that serves both me and my child. And in that moment, I'm deciding to become the calm center of a cyclone, knowing that there is that possibility to go into stress, right. And to, you know, maybe answer back, not from a cool head, but I'm choosing by using the model by knowing that there are five categories and that I have direct control over four of.
I just didn't have control over the circumstance that came my way, but I surely can show up in a way that serves me and my child in this particular situation. So to summarize, when things feel out of control for you, when you feel like you're in the [00:20:00] spinning part of the, the storm, you can draw on the model and ask yourself to define what's happening.
What's really going on and place them each in the categories of circumstance, thought, feeling action or result. And when you do that, you can then. Have you empower yourself to make any adjustments and changes to those thoughts, feelings, and actions that will yield you a better result. One that is powerful coming from that calm center.
So the third and final way that I want to offer you to become more of a cyclone mom is to put down and release any judgment. Shame put downs, self criticism that you have guilt when, and if you [00:21:00] don't hold it together, if you don't stay calm, if you don't show up in a way that you want to, if you do become busy, if you find yourself overwhelmed or in a worry or in a spin or juggling too much, right.
It's gonna happen. What I teach my clients is that. I teach them the way and I'm trying to teach you all. It's just, it goes a lot more deeper and we get a lot more transformation and change when we work directly together. But through, through my message here, it's to show you that we are human beings and we're not perfect.
And that we will fall into these negative emotions in. And that it's just part of life, but that there is skills to have you not stay there very long. And that we want to, we wanna get back into feeling [00:22:00] good so that you can get back to showing up as your best mom self, but judging ourselves. Going into blame and shame and putting ourself down.
And self-criticism when we do mess up or when we think we should know better or we're not being good enough, or we'll never learn in all of that stuff. We need to be a, to be a cyclone mom. We need to learn to release that and let it go. As soon as you have awareness that that's happen. so I don't want you to think that you are always gonna be able to handle everything so calmly and wonderfully and get perspective and, and stop and be able to put things in each category of the model.
Right. You're gonna forget to call on God. You're gonna forget that. The first thing to do is to be rooted in your faith and draw on it and pray that's [00:23:00] going to happen. So, what I want is for you to know that it's not a problem, that we don't have to assign a negative meaning if you find yourself not being the center of a cycl, But just as soon as you can, as soon as you can figure out and have awareness around that you are beating yourself up, that you're being mean to yourself mentally, that you are criticizing yourself, especially when you, you start hearing all these should'ves in your brain.
Right? All these, I should have been better. I should have handled this. I should have been able to stay calm. I shouldn't have yelled at them. All of those things. I want you to know that we are done with that part, because if you choose to stay there, you will be out in the spinning rain and wind of the cyclone.
So as soon as you can get awareness, you can then come back to steps one and two, which is to call on [00:24:00] God's peace and to. Get clarity over what is happening and draw power by figuring out what part of the model you are working with and what you can control and change. So let's leave all of that.
Self-criticism and judgment. For when you do find yourself busy and overwhelmed and juggling a lot of things and feeling like you're wrapped up in the storm, just as soon as you can, when you figure out that that's happening, pivot, call on what you know, even I would love for you to start saying to yourself, I must a cyclone mom.
I'm drawing my power from the calm center. Be a cyclone and as always, I have an invitation for you. If you feel like your life right now is one of busy and overwhelmed and out of control. And, and you're [00:25:00] defaulting very easily to those thoughts that I have so much going on and I don't know what to do about it.
Please come to a free peace strategy call with me, and we will have you in that calm center before the end of the. There are direct tools and concepts that I use to apply. And it's just so much more powerful when it is applying it to your exact circumstances of your life and just get a taste of what becoming a cyclone mom will do for your life.
I can't wait to see you there. And as always, I'm so grateful that you are here today, listening. And if you like what you're hearing and learning, please rate and review the podcast. It helps it get out to more moms out there who are struggling. And so we all can contribute and bring this message to the world.
All right, everyone. I'll see you [00:26:00] again next week. Bye. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast. Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own life to really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach.
This is where you'll get personal and focused time on your own mind. Using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life. Transforming wisdom all through a faith filled lens. To learn more about how we can work together. Come on over to daniellethienel.com there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time please be with you always.[00:27:00]
