Episode 113
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You are listening to episode 113 of the peaceful mind podcast.
Welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Hi there. Mom is welcome back to the podcast. If I sound a little different, I am not in my office with my usual microphone. I'm out and about actually traveling to a business conference and I'm in my hotel room and I just thought I just was inspired for a podcast and I just thought. I wanna be able to just come on and record and get you some goodness.
And sometimes I happen to be traveling and I actually have a lot of travel planned. So hopefully it's gonna be of a quality that is gonna be like how it is when I'm at home. And so then I'll be able to do this more often. Um, I'm excited to talk to you today about how to peacefully problem solve, but right before we get into the episode, I wanted to just.
Tell you all that I am opening enrollment for my next mom's group. I'm gonna have more details announced, uh, probably on next week's podcast, but just for you to know, and to, you know, reach out to me. If you think that you're gonna want one of the spots, there will be information in the show notes here, but this group of moms that we bring together for six months long, It is full of coaching and community and you get clarity on your life and just really know you're not alone and have support and accountability.
We just have, we do we have so much fun right now when I hear the wins that are happening in this group, it just lights my heart on fire. And when I think about where they were before. Came to me and the group, and now the progress that that they've made and what they've experienced and the moms that they've just become and grown into it is just amazing.
And, and I wanna offer and invite you to step on step into all that amazement too. So if you're interested, just know that I'm enrolling now and. There's more information out there and you can grab your seat and I would love to talk to you. And if you want more in depth about what's going on, you can jump on a call with me and we'll get it all sorted and figured out.
I would love to have you in the group. Okay. So today we are gonna be talking about how to problem solve peacefully. And this is about a five step process that I've kind of broken it up into that you can call on really it's five questions, cuz we know that in order to bring more consciousness to our life, to be able to deliberately move in the direction that we want to.
With purpose, it takes pausing and kind of questioning what is happening and going on in our life. We want to pause so that we can go within, within our minds to see what we're thinking about it. To go within our hearts to see what we're feeling about it. And then just to take a look about what we're kind of doing in our life or what we're not doing.
And so these five steps will help you just problem solve when challenges and issues in your life arise. And that if you have these, I highly recommend you write them down. If you have these questions, these next steps, whenever you have these problems, you're gonna be able to, to bring some peace to what might otherwise be.
Just something that really, you know, kind of. Is a bump in the road in your life or kind of stops you in your track or, or gets you off track. So let's just dive right in the first question. I want you to ask yourself when a problem arrives so you can peacefully problem solve it is, is this, is this even a problem?
So that question sometimes we think it's a problem. But it isn't. So here's a couple, here's an example, let's say because, uh, you know, our kids are back in school. If you're listening to this in, um, you know, when it's first come out and let's say that your child didn't get put together in the same classroom as his or her best.
I want you to, like, at first it, when that happens, you might just kind of like your mom heart just right away. Just could be like, oh no. Right. We were counting on that and it's so much fun. And then it's like, you know, easily, I don't know, carpooling or helping out with assignments, or just knowing that when you go volunteer for the field trip, you can be.
your child's buddy's parent and, and that would be fun. So notice how at, at first, your, your brain might say, this is a problem, but maybe not. So I want you to just pause and first ask the question. Is this even a problem? I mean, maybe them not being in the same. Would be helpful, maybe it's time to branch out to new friends.
Maybe that it'll make them want to be together or be closer more because they're not together all the time. So that is the first step to peacefully kind of handle when a problem arises. Maybe it's not even a problem. Okay. And if it's not guess what you get to stop, right. Then the problem dissipates.
Then you take your mind into seeing how it's not a problem and how it might even work out. And then you can go back on forward in your life. But let's say it's something that your brain tells you that it is a problem. So we wanna go to question number two. Why, why is it a problem? so here's an example.
Let's say the problem for you was you came home from the grocery store and then you realize there's one bag missing or let's even say it was something like, just even like the eggs or just even the bread. And it was, you can just picture it left back at the checkout. Maybe it was tucked under that, you know, little counter thing and you didn't see it.
And the, if you had a grocery bagger, maybe they didn't put it in. So you get home and you realize you don't have an item. Okay. Maybe that ingredient let's see egg spread. Maybe you were having French toast for dinner. I love having French toast for dinner. That's so fun. Breakfast for dinner. It's one of my favorite.
let's just say that was the ingredients. Right? And so you actually ask yourself, is this even a problem? And your brain says, yes, it is a problem. Because without those ingredients, I can't make dinner tonight. So then you go to question number two. Why, why is that a problem? And then you would answer well, because then I don't have the food for dinner.
Okay, so, all right, good to know. You might even like at that point, be like, well, we don't really have to have that for dinner tonight and I could go pick up some eggs and bread at the local, you know, maybe little, little store that's closer by, or you would just get it tomorrow because you have something else in the house, in the freezer that you could cook and make for dinner like that night.
So then again, see, at question number two, you might answer that it's not a problem at this point, by going to that second question, why? And then let's say it is like, let's say the only thing was that that's what you can have for dinner. So you need to have your dinner and you want something to eat. So then we wanna move on to question number.
question number three is what is the easiest solution to this problem? You wanna take your brain to a place? where there's more ease. Remember, we're trying to peacefully solve this problem. We're trying to keep our brain from going into this wild, crazy spin out where we would build ourselves more into getting worked up or, you know, mad and angry.
And, and we just want more ease. So if we just kind of stay with that same. Didn't get the groceries, all the groceries back from the grocery store. If we came with that same kind of example, we wanna ask what's the easiest solution. Well, maybe the easiest solution is to just get back in the car and drive to the grocery store.
Maybe the easiest solution is to go to a nearby neighbor and ask if they happen to have any eggs or. The another way I like to word this question is kind of like, is there a temporary solution, right? Maybe there's something in the short term, maybe going to the neighbor would be a short term, and then you can eventually get more eggs and bread and you can return, you know, what you borrow to your neighbor.
You know, sometimes we wanna say what's the best solution at this time. It's kind of, so I wanna tell you that this third step. there's a few questions, but they're, they're, they're all sort of similar in nature. What is the easiest solution? What is a temporary solution? What's the best solution. That's a way to direct your brain in such a powerful way.
One, that's gonna give you an answer that will serve you. And whenever we use that word, ease or easiest, It just can bring us back to this place of peace. Okay. We're gonna go down to question number four, step number four, when we are trying to problem solve peacefully. And that is to ask yourself what was the cause of this problem?
Sometimes it's just good to know to come back to the cause that way we could really like learn from it. So. Again, using the same example, um, what was the cause of this problem? And it could be that you were, you were just rushed and like unfocused or that you not in the habit at the end of checking out for your groceries to stop and pause and look and just check to see if it was clear.
Right? This is a way like, yes, we could also, you know, put our focus and ha on how the, you. Those that help us fill our, our baskets or our, our bags that when we're checking out groceries, we could put the blame on how it was their job and they didn't really do it. And, but that's not gonna serve us. Right.
What's gonna serve us to say, what was my role in this? So maybe you were chatting with the cashier and you just, you know, didn't pay attention. maybe again, like you didn't have the habit to look back. And so we want to realize what the cause was and take responsibility of our part so that we can learn from it.
And maybe now, next time, when you're at the checkout, you'll be extra like vigilant, um, about it. So then, so that step was what was the cause of this. and I recommend when you answer that, you look to see what your role was in it instead of looking to lay blame on someone else. So that brings us back to the fifth question, which I alluded to, or the fifth step.
I alluded to a little bit in step four. And that this question is how do I prevent it in the future? And that is where you want to kind of decide. And what that, what you did learn from it, and then consciously decide how I would move forward. If it happened again or what I could do to prevent it, prevent it from happening.
so those are the five steps. And I wanna go back through the five steps and I wanna offer a different example than my grocery store, um, example, because I know that sometimes as you're listening to this, your brain will say something like, well, yeah, that's just kind of, that's an easy. Kind of problem to deal with Danielle, but what about the big problems?
What about the big problems that really matter? And I wanted to just recently, one of my clients, um, brought up one of her issues and I'm gonna use this as an example, because I know for her, she saw this as a big problem and she. Like when she had the, heard the news, her brain did go into a spin, did freak out a little bit and she wasn't at first able to handle it peacefully and to like problem solve it peacefully.
And I walked her through these five steps and it was so helpful. And so I'm gonna, the example that she has is that she recently. Was told from her doctors that she, her numbers came back. When I say her numbers, her medical, like blood testing or the test that they do and said that she was, they were very high and that she was borderline diabetic.
Okay. And this for. Was a shock and a big problem. And her mind did take her to where, you know, down, you know, it spun out into a place where it wasn't very peaceful, right? And so this is how we looked at it using these, um, questions, these steps. So if we received this type of news that our brain might say is a negative thing, a bad thing, and not a good thing.
Then, if you have these five questions to ask, you could go through and say, number one, is this even a problem? Okay. And the answer could be, yes, it is. It is a problem because it means that my health is not where it's should be. It's not vital and vibrant. And there are some effects that the doctor told me could happen.
If I didn't get these numbers outta control. So we answered. Yes, it is a problem. Okay. So then you move number two. Why? Why is it a problem? Okay. Well, it's a problem because now I'll have to be on medication, right? It may lead to more serious complications. Um, it will be detrimental to my health, right? So now, you know why, and we move to number.
What is the easiest solution now, again, I'll just, well, not again, I haven't mentioned yet, but I just wanna point out there. So I'm not a doctor. Right. But I'm just trying to come from this mom mentality. And if I was in her place and received their new, the news, right. If I just heard the easiest solution, I would, it would be something like, well, I could make different choices with my eating and I could up my exercise.
I might put my focus on losing some amount of pounds that maybe my doctor has recommended. That would be helpful. And then even if I didn't want to take medication, the easiest solution would be to do a little bit of research and to find out maybe. What else, as far as diet and exercise, or, you know, vitamins or supplements or something like that, that could be helpful.
So that's what seems the easiest solution for my client. It was, um, that we discussed it was for her to add a lot more walking. To her lifestyle and making and setting a goal for that that's to her was the answer of the easiest solution at the moment. Okay. And so again, like what is a temporary solution?
What's the best solution. We wanna use those questions at this time, at this point. So then we wanna move on to the step four. What was the cause of this? and in this case, my client, we talk through that. She knows that she has been more sedentary, right. And her stress levels, um, are very high. She recently had a, uh, death in the family and there was, um, you know, just stress, which, what her doctor says adds to this, where you want to maybe eat more.
And, um, and do less exercising. So we realize that that's the cause. And then we go to step five. How do I prevent it in the future? And this, again comes back to not allowing myself to get into that sedentary lifestyle or to instill. A lot more measures to keep my stress levels down. It might, it means to prevent it, that I might have to change my food habits and what would be, what would that look like?
And so when you do that, when you follow these steps in a peaceful kind of like really helpful serving direction of your brain, to answer these questions, you can then have. You have this sense of peace that you have, that you're gonna do something about it, that you have a power over it. It's when we don't, when we let our brain just go into how this is a problem and it's awful.
And, and then X, Y, and Z bad thing could happen. It, it just isn't serving or helpful to us. And I also wanna tell you that when you know these five steps. See how, as a parent, how empowering you can have when your children are like having problems and thinking like it's the end of the world. And they are kind of, you know, upset, spiraling about something.
When you know these questions, I wanna empower you as a parent, too, that you'll have this in your toolbox. To bring out to say, all right, how can we more peacefully help? How can I more peacefully help my child solve this problem? And then you'll know you get to ask the five steps. Is this even a problem?
Why is it a problem? What is the easiest solution to this problem? What was the cause of this problem? And how do I prevent it in the. Okay. My friends, this is what I have for you this week. I hope that you can add some more peace to your problems and feel empowered to move through them. Thank you so much for being here.
Don't forget to check out the show notes or get in touch to grab one of those limited spots to my upcoming moms group. And I will talk to you all next week. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast. Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own life to really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you.
If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focused time on your own mind. Using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life. Transforming wisdom all through a faith filled lens. To learn more about how we can work together. Come on over to daniellethienel.com
there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time please be with you always.
