Episode 327 6 Time Lies Every Mom Beleives (And How to Think Differently)
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Speaker: [00:00:00] You are listening to episode 327 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Welcome to The Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place where you can move out of overwhelm and into a calm, confident motherhood with God at the center. I'm Danielle Thienel certified life coach Catholic Mom and creator of the Cyclone Mom Method. I help you create emotional, steadiness and peace of mind from the inside out.
So you can experience more balance and more joy in your busy mom life. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello there. Beautiful Mamas. Welcome back to the Peaceful Mind Podcast. As always, I'm so glad you're here. And yeah, today we're gonna talk about six time lies. Every Mom believes, at least at some point or another. And if you are believing them [00:01:00] now, I am hoping that this episode can be a turning point.
Because if you're like most moms, which I know you probably are, then you have said these things more than you can count, and that is, I don't have enough time. There aren't enough hours in the day or some kind of flavor of I can't keep up. I'm so overwhelmed. So if that's you. Which I'm over here raising my hand.
That, that was me as well. Then we are going to be diving into step five, the final step of my Cyclone Mom method, which is to take back control of your time, and I'm gonna challenge some of the most common thoughts that we have about time, because here's what I've [00:02:00] discovered through coaching, hundreds of you.
That the way we think about time is keeping us stressed. It's keeping us in overwhelm, and it's keeping us feeling like we're always behind. And then when we are feeling those feelings, we are not showing up and creating the results in our life that we want. So we are keeping ourselves stuck. But what if everything that you've been believing about time is wrong?
Yeah. Don't you even want that to be true? Especially if you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and behind all the time. What if it is never a problem that we don't have enough time, but it's because we're believing lies about time that are keeping us trapped in that overwhelm and stress. So today on this episode, I'm gonna walk you through those six lies [00:03:00] that almost every mom believes about time.
And I'm going to give you different questions to ask that will completely shift how you experience your days. Of course, I want your days to have more balance, more joy, more peace, and here's what I like to say, like time, it's the great clarifier. Okay. What I mean by that is it literally puts our emotions, our opinions, and the situations into perspective, right?
It clarifies, it reveals our true values and our priorities. The clock does that for us. It reveals the outcomes that we have, the consequences that are there, and time is such a wise teacher. It challenges us. It challenges us to grow. So let's look at what we're really saying when we think these thoughts about time.
Okay, lie number [00:04:00] one, I don't have enough time. When you say this, what are you really saying? That God didn't give you enough time. Here's the question I want you to ask instead. If God designed each day to have exactly 24 hours and he knew everything that would need to happen in your life, could it be that 24 hours is actually perfect?
And this isn't about me saying, oh, this toxic positivity that you need to go in and pretend that everything is fine, like when you feel like you're drowning. But this is about getting curious instead of staying stuck in the story that time is against you. That time is your enemy. Okay? Really think about that.
God's the one that created giving us 24 hours in a day, and he also created our bodies to need [00:05:00] sleep. And that like to function. And whenever we believe the lie that we don't have enough time, we're literally going against the beautiful, perfect creation that God made of our system, of how we're relating time, day and night, and our own systems of our body and what it needs to.
To take actions in that 24 hours a day. Okay? Lie number two, I can't keep up. You can't keep up with what if you can't keep up with your own life? What is this telling you, right? If your life is moving so fast that you cannot keep up with it, could it be that your approach is fundamentally flawed rather than time being the problem?
When we can't keep up it u [00:06:00] it's usually because we're trying to do things that we're never ours to do in the first place, right? Seriously, when we say we can't keep up we put this blame against time and how if time was only different or changed or you had more of it, then you're thinking that's the answer to you being able to keep up.
But what is it that you can't keep up with those things you are deciding to do that their priorities that you are putting in, that they're like, you're choosing to say to yourself, this is what I need to do with my time. So again, this is where we just, I'm just bringing these lies to the forefront and perhaps helping break them down or.
Have them dissipate altogether when you make some counterpoints with it. [00:07:00] Okay. Let's just dive into lie number three. There aren't enough hours in the day, and I wanna ask, there aren't enough hours for what, whenever you ask yourself that question, are you answering that with, this is what? I can't get because there aren't enough get done because there aren't enough hours in the day.
But if there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, what are you attempting to do that you should not be doing or should not be attempting to do this question? Questions in general are gold Mama. Because it forces your brain to actually look at your actual tasks and commitments instead of just complaining about time.
I lo they there. It's all decisions like when you stop, when you [00:08:00] list it. And then ask commitments or ask yourself about these commitments that you're made, and then we need to make a decision about that. Am I gonna let this go? Is this really matter to me? Do I want this to be the priority for today?
And that's not what we're doing. We're just telling ourselves, lying to ourselves, saying there aren't enough hours in the day, and then we're stopping there. We're not taking it further. To ask for what? And then taking a look at that list of what, and then asking ourself if that's something we should be doing with our time or not.
All right? Lie number four. There's just too much on my plate. There's just too much. That's what's bringing the overwhelm. And this is a big one. And here's that question that I want, that I think would change everything when this lie comes up. Is God expecting you to do more than is reasonable? [00:09:00] Has he put an impossible amount on your schedule or have you put things on your plate that God never intended for you?
Most of the time when our plate is overflowing, it's because we've said yes to things that weren't ours to carry. And again, it's an evaluation. And in order to evaluate, we first need to pause. We first need to become more aware of what are the actual things on my plate, and we need to take responsibility that I'm the one that reached my handover, picked it up and put it on the plate.
But there's always a chance to reassess. There's always a chance to finally see the plate, to take ownership and then to decide, yeah, that's too much, or, I didn't really need to say yes to that one. Or it's gonna be hard to say no to, to doing X, Y, Z, [00:10:00] but I am tired of always feeling behind and complaining about time, and God gave us the perfect amount of time.
So I wanna rearrange things to figure out how to enjoy that more. Lie number five, I'm always behind. Maybe I'm always behind schedule and I wanna say always, and how long has this been going on? And when will I finally get the message? When will I do something different about it? Because if nothing changes, then nothing will change.
So if I'm always behind, like you are the one to change, whether you're always behind or not. And if you are always feeling behind in your schedule it's almost like you're the the dog chasing the car, except that car is [00:11:00] your life. This was the metaphor for this that I read,
and it, does it make sense? Here's the question I want you to ask. With this one, the, I'm always behind thought. What would need to change about how you plan your days if you wanted to feel ahead of schedule instead of behind? Take time to actually contemplate that question and come up with some answers.
Here's lie number six. I wish I had more hours in a day, and here's what I want you con to consider. I alluded to this earlier, there are 24 hours in a day. It's not changing. The design for it is perfect. The problem is actually user error, and [00:12:00] the question you wanna ask with this is, how can I work with the 24 hours that I've been given instead of fighting against them?
And in my book, the Divine Time Solution, I definitely hone in on this where I'm like, each 24 hours is a gift. Do you stop to look at the day that way? Like when you wake up, it's oh, I was just given another 24 hours. No. Instead we're like, I wish I had more. These sayings we tell ourselves are a testament to the stress and frustration that most of us feel every day.
The busyness of our lives makes us feel like there isn't enough time to take care of everything. But here's what I want you to know. If we have more to do than we can, that can reasonably be done by one person. Remember, [00:13:00] not a robot in 24 hours. Then we are active and meddling in that, which does not concern us that we are focusing on all these things that our brain have told us are important, but really they're not the things that actually matter.
In order for our life to be the way that we want it, which again, is more joy, more peace, more balance, more calm, more confidence, feeling more in control. When we participate in the insane speed and busyness of our culture, we are participating and what our culture wants to be like a ball of chain. Ball and chain.
What it wants to shackle us with. We're trying to stretch the fabric of reality, and it can't be stretched. It [00:14:00] won't bend for you, me, or anyone. And time is never punishing you, mama. It's like preparing us, right? The amount of time is 24 hours a day. This is indisputable, and if more was needed, it would have been provided.
Most of us don't think we have enough time, but this is just false. We have exactly enough time to do what we should be doing. Here's what we don't have time for, right? We don't have time to waste time, and what happens is we waste plenty of it. We don't have time to procrastinate on the things that matter.
We don't have time for our self-destructive behaviors or our unhealthy habits. We don't have time to lose our temper with our children when we could respond with more patience. We don't have time to be selfish when we could be generous. We don't have time to get angry or jealous or hold [00:15:00] grudges. We don't have time to be passive aggressive or controlling or manipulative.
We don't have time to criticize others or make bad decisions or feel sorry for ourselves. We don't have time for perfectionism or fear of making mistakes. We don't have time to worry about what other people think of us. We spend on average hours a day on the internet watching television, scrolling our phones.
We don't have time for that when we're complaining that we don't have enough time for what matters. But here's what you do. Have plenty of time for you have plenty of time to love, plenty of time to listen to your children, enough time to live out what God has placed in your heart to do. We have time to love him.
We have time to love our neighbor as ourself. We have time to flourish. We have time to [00:16:00] be grateful. We have time to be generous. We have time to do the will of God. You don't need more time. Mama. Cast that. Just aside, just be done with it. The I don't have enough time Lie. If you needed more time, guess what?
God would've given us all more. More time isn't actually the answer. The answer is careful selection, like discernment through prayer, a grateful heart, and acknowledgement of the reality of our limits. So I want you to just stop wrestling with the facts of this human life, because the facts are we have 24 hours a day.
And the facts always win, and it is enough time. And so how, right? Once we come to that [00:17:00] conclusion for ourselves, then how do we practically live this out and apply it moving forward? And the way we do that is we, first, we've gotta start paying attention to when you say these phrases, say these lies.
Notice when you think I don't have enough time. And then pause and ask yourself, what am I trying to do that might not be mine to do. Second, look at your actual schedule. What are you doing that you could stop doing? What commitments are you carrying that you were never asked to carry? Be ruthless about protecting your time for what matters most.
If you have plenty of time to love and listen and do God's will, but no time for perfectionism and people pleasing, let that guide your decisions. Fourth, stop [00:18:00] fighting against this clock. The 24 hours you've been giving and start working with them. Plan, like realistically, build in some space for yourself, except that some things will have to wait for another time.
And the goal isn't to fill every moment. The goal is to use your time in alignment with what you've actually, what actually you've been called to do. What is that? When you change how you think about time, everything changes. Remember that internal shift is what we're after. That's how our external change.
So how you are showing up for time will change, but at first we need you to have a different perspective on the inside. Instead of feeling like time is your enemy, start seeing it as the gift that it is. And [00:19:00] instead of feeling behind, you start to feel more aligned, and instead of feeling overwhelmed, you start to feel more purposeful.
Remember, mama, the problem isn't that you don't have enough time. The problem is that you've believed these lies about time that I've showcased today. They're what keep you stressed and scattered.
But now it is time to ask different questions that will lead you to different answers, questions that will help you take back control of your time and create the calm, purposeful life that you are longing for. I just wanna say thank you. For spending this time with me today, I know that's what you chose to use this precious gift with, was to listen here and my hopes is that this will help you create and expand [00:20:00] and strengthen your relationship with time.
I am so cheering you on to take on a different thinking pattern about your time. I. And this is something that, again, it is part of that, it's that last step of the cyclone mom method, my process. And so if you want help identifying right what your time could look like. And perhaps create a schedule that feels sustainable instead of overwhelming to you.
If you have realized that these lies that I presented today are something that you have been carrying around and you're saying I just don't know how to change them, then I would love to help. This is something we totally can dive into and you can have immediately relief in a plan if you schedule a free peaceful Mom strategy call with me [00:21:00] and we can see what it would look like for you to truly take back control of your time.
And I know as I'm wrapping this up that I feel like I'm, I was a little bit passionate and like what you would call like on my soapbox today, but I just. I know that this is a game changer to take back control of your time. It's a necessary step to become the mom that you want to be, and time management is such a, when you are a busy mom, it's such a crucial area to grow in.
And so again, would just love to encourage you, love to talk with you about your life circumstances and what's going on around time, and I'd love to offer you some relief. So yes take a look in the show notes where you can schedule a free peaceful mom [00:22:00] strategy call, but just this week beyond yourself.
Okay, stop and pause. Maybe re-listen to this podcast, write down those six lies. Write down the questions that I've offered that help you look at it all in a different way, and maybe hone into the one or two that really seem to be your default. And then when you catch yourself again, apply some of what I've given you for practical steps today.
Then you will start to see a different, you'll be well on your way. All right, mamas, I love you all so much. Thank you again for being here, and until next time, may peace be with you. Always. Thank you for listening to The Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you've been feeling a quiet desire for more peace and steadiness in your motherhood, I invite you to take the next step by scheduling a Peaceful Mom [00:23:00] strategy call.
At daniellethienel.com you'll also find the link in the show notes. It would be an honor to support you at any stage of your motherhood journey.
