The 50/50 Principle

I want to share a concept that changed my life. In the life coaching world, we call it the 50/50 principle. I hope that after you learn about it, you’ll also start to look at your life differently.

When I first heard this concept, I fought it. I’ve always had a positive, optimistic attitude and usually saw life from a glass-half-full perspective. I knew I had challenges and wasn’t always showing up how I wanted to. But if you would ask me, I would say that my life was 90% positive and 10% negative. 

So when I was introduced to the 50/50 concept, I wasn’t too sure. The 50/50 rule says that if you are living your life to the fullest, using all of your gifts, realizing your capabilities, and achieving your dreams, you will have 50% positive and 50% negative feelings during your human life.

I didn’t want to have 50% negative feelings. I thought the 10% I believed I was experiencing was plenty. But now that I know more, I realize that I wasn’t living my life to the fullest by staying in a place where my life was 90/10.

When I loosened up to the idea of 50/50, I found myself stepping forward, putting myself in places where I had the opportunity to expand, grow, and go after things I never thought were possible.

Thoughts and Feelings

We create our feelings with our minds through the thoughts that we choose to think. When we choose those thoughts, it creates a feeling inside us that vibrates physically in our bodies.

These emotions are not created by anything outside of us. They’re not influenced by what other people say. They’re not created by weather or disaster. They’re not created when we receive a diagnosis. They don’t come when somebody doesn’t act and do what we want them to do.

We feel how we feel because of a thought we have. We have positive and negative thoughts that create positive and negative feelings.

From those feelings, we take the actions we take in our life. Those actions then create all the results you experience in your life.

However, we have a misconception that we should always be happy and that if we aren’t, something has gone wrong.

Living Your Full Potential

If you are always happy, that can tell us that perhaps we haven’t tapped into our fullest potential and capability. We might be living a smaller life than God intended us to live. You may be sticking to your routine, doing things that feel safe, and keeping yourself from feeling uncomfortable or having to do something hard or difficult.

But what if there is something else, something more that you are made for? 

Let me give you an example from my own life. I was in total overwhelm. I was blaming everything outside of me. I blamed my boss, the hardship of a renovation, and the workers. I felt terrible about myself because I thought I wasn’t showing up for my kids as I wanted. I had this story in my mind about how there was so much to do, and I was failing at all of it.

Due to some other circumstances, I actually quit a lot of what I was doing, and I was home for several months. I rewired and filled up with some self-care and focused on my prayer time. Things were amazing. I was working out, visiting friends, and diving into my faith. I was showing up for my kids and serving everyone in a way that felt amazing.

But after a while, it didn’t seem like enough. There was some other longing and pull in my heart that said I was made for more. I thought my gifts could be used in a way that would impact my family and the world. So I began taking steps to get certified as a life coach and built a business. 

Getting to where I am now required me to do more scary things. I had more feelings of fear and anxiety. I put myself out there online to reach those who needed me. It had me feeling embarrassed, criticized, rejected, and vulnerable. Learning to build a website and use the technology I needed for my business was hard and uncomfortable.

All of that put me more into a 50/50 mindset. But what I have now is joy. The joy that I am living my best life. I am working daily to expand and grow, become better, and help others do the same. I’m making an impact in the world. I love what I’m producing and how I’m using the gifts God gave me.

Stepping into more negative feelings on purpose has enhanced my life. 

The Purpose Of Our Life On Earth

Too often, we think that once we achieve something, then we’ll be okay. We think once we get married, buy a house, or have a child, that we will be happy. And then that time comes, and yes, you might feel accomplished, proud, and excited, but it’s fleeting. It’s fleeting because of the way that we’re wired. 

I believe that we’re here on Earth to be challenged, grow, and become more like Christ. And to accomplish that, we will need to live a life like He had - with challenges, sorrow, and difficulty. He carried out his full mission before he ascended into heaven, and so should we.

Step Into The Negative To Grow

If there comes a time when you feel that your life is good, enjoy it! But also know that this imperfect world will offer you more circumstances that you will have to face. There will be times when you have thoughts that bring you negative feelings. That’s okay! Step into those negative feelings and know they will bring you to a greater version of yourself.

Instead of avoiding feeling bad, we want to learn how to get good at feeling bad because it’s just a feeling. We can move through it to make ourselves better. View those hard things as an indicator that you’re still on this side of heaven, and that’s how it is meant to be.

This kind of thought work is invaluable on your journey to what’s possible. If you’re ready to get started, learn more about my free peace strategy call here.