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Oh My Goodness, This is the Way!

We have taken a look, these past several weeks, at each of the Fruits of the Spirit and how they relate in our motherhood.

We wrap up the series today talking about - GOODNESS.

If you missed the previous posts on Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control, you can find them on my blog page by clicking here.

Goodness, my faith-filled friends, is what you innately are at all times.

You are full of goodness simply because you exist and because you were created in the image of God, who is pure goodness.

But, especially in the struggles and trials of our daily lives, 

it sure doesn't always feel like we are full of goodness, right?

Especially when we snap at the kids or

Feel ill-will against our mother-in-law.

But cultivating goodness in our lives is less about taking great great strides in holiness and virtuosity that seem available only to the Saints,

And instead it’s more about the small acts of goodness you do throughout your day.

It...

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How to Have More Self Control to Benefit Your Motherhood

Has your motherhood tested your self-control more than you ever thought possible?
Mine has.
You may often pile on the guilt when you think you should be able to have more self-control when you don't.
And this feels awful, right?
"I should have stopped eating the ice cream after one bowl."
"Why can't I stop myself from yelling at the kids?"
"I can't stop spending money, or scrolling on Facebook when I should be doing X, Y, and Z,"
and on and on and on.... 
This way of thinking, ironically, provides the opposite of how you want to feel.
It keeps you feeling even more out of control.
We all want more self-control in our daily lives in one way or another.
Instead of looking to an outside fix, like not buying more ice cream or cancelling credit cards,  
The answer lies within.
To have self-control in your motherhood, and life, the secret lies inside yourself.
This is what I help my clients with everyday.
To look to what you know of Christ's teachings and example,
And...
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Do You Want To Be A More Gentle Mom?

What would happen if you stopped being so hard on yourself and decided to move into gentleness?


No, really. I mean it. This is a Fruit of the Spirit to seek in your motherhood.

Your parenting, your eating habits, your prayer life, your Mass attendance, the condition of your house, all of it...

Beating yourself up mentally for not doing it right or well enough seems like the noble thing to do but I find for myself and my clients that we just use it as a way to feel bad.

Gentleness. That's where you will create an amazing life.

Gentleness allows you to be gracious with yourself when you fall short. (Newsflash: you're always going to have times when you fall short)

It doesn't feel so impossible or overwhelming to the brain when you quickly move on from mentally mistreating yourself into gentleness after faltering in your motherhood. 

It allows you to have grace with yourself.

Most importantly, it's the opposite of the see-saw ride of "I'm a great mom" or "I'm a terrible...

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3 Ways to Increase Faithfulness

I became more faithful by not going to church!.......Well, at least not entering a church building.

It's true.  I've grown in faithfulness and it was possible even when we have to stay-at-home during a pandemic. 

The best news? It’s actually been fun and fresh to break up a routine of my usual faith focused activities and learn other ways to connect with Christ to grow in FAITHFULNESS- which happens to be our next fruit of the spirit to explore.

Surprisingly, the time away from church (physically not going there) has given me a chance to find new ways to grow and receive grace. 

It's actually felt easy, not complicated, to pursue my faith and I want to share 3 ways of what worked for our family to grow in faithfulness in recent months:

1.  We've attended Mass, virtually, all over the world from Lourdes, France to my recent favorite in Wichita, KS. Snuggled together on the couch and always excited to see what this "new church" will be like, we've had a...

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Stop Being Mean To Yourself

When I think about kindness, I automatically go to the opposite notion- MEAN

Why?

Probably because I live in Nashville, listen to Taylor Swift a lot and love her catchy song "Mean" where she really socks it to her ex through lyrics.  Ha! 

But Catholic mamas, kindness is kind of a big deal.  Sometimes we can forget that.  

And I don't mean showing kindness, as presented by google -the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate-to others.

That already comes naturally in your vocation as a mom and as you mother your children everyday from near or afar. 

I want to remind you today about showing the Fruit of the Spirit of kindness to YOURSELF!

Jesus showed great kindness to sinners.

He shows great kindness to you and me every single day.

So, today decide to draw the line on shaming yourself or being mean to yourself but instead strive for greater kindness in your heart for yourself.

  • Be kind to yourself after you yell at the...
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Develop Your Patience Muscle

 The first time I became pregnant,  it took my husband and I over a year of trying, 

I recall feeling impatient the whole time.

When it finally happened, the doctor then said "It's twins!" 

After I boo hooed with joy, I recall thinking, "Well, that was totally worth the wait!"

God's timing was yet again perfect.    

But there was so much wasted energy on my part worrying, fretting and fuming that it wasn't happening soon enough. 

If only I could have saved myself all the upset and been patient and peaceful along the way instead. Relate?

That's the funny thing about patience, we don't get to know the end result of what it is we are wanting to have or where we are wanting to go until after we are patient (or impatient) to get it. 

Having patience along the way may not be the easiest way to be when we face the challenges of our human lives today, but it's a worthy endeavor, nonetheless, to seek this virtue.

I know being a mom has...

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How to Have Peace of Mind Now

This week's fruit of the spirit is my jam!

This is what I live to maintain myself and teach my clients and my family (if only they'd listen to me !) everyday- to have peace in the midst of this crazy awesome life.

For a long time I truly believed I would feel peace when

  • the laundry was put away and the house was all cleaned up
  • my bank account reached a certain number
  • after I lost 5 lbs. and got a hold of my sugar addiction. 
  • I was on vacation and not driving the kids around to all their activities

However, what I have comme to know for sure is that peace is generated internally from our own chosen thoughts, not caused by something outside of ourselves.

So, you have access to it at anytime! And this is such good news!

While we do feel peace at times when a goal is achieved or once you get a chance to sit at the ocean, that type of peace will always be fleeting.

Christ, is the only source of everlasting peace.

Therefore, when your thinking is turned to Him and you regular...

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Where to Go to Find Joy

If you are anything like me right now, it's been a challenge to muster up some true joy when navigating the world's current events.

But just like how the Saints had uncompromisable joy in times of trial, difficulty and pain, I'd like to invite you to deliberately seek out a Fruit of the Spirit- JOY! 

My grandmother was once interviewed for the local newspaper in her hometown. I don't recall why, but I do remember a statement she was quoted as saying- "You make your own happiness."

What I have come to know, and coach others on, is exactly what my grandma was saying too- Joy comes from within and that's where we need to go to find it. 

Because we know "within" is also where we find the Holy Spirit abiding, it's the perfect place to look when we aren't feeling joy. 

As an exercise, I invite you to first welcome the Holy Spirit's guidance into your mind and then ask yourself:

  • What could I think about and ponder, right now, that brings me the feeling of joy?
  • What...
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Love Is A Choice

I am so glad to be talking about the Fruits of the Spirit this week and the coming weeks. It seems fitting, especially as our nation faces such difficult times.

This is where I know to go when I feel like I don't have the answers- The Holy Spirit.

So we perfectly start with what our world needs more of right now, the first fruit of the spirit-

Love!

it can end up being the easiest feeling and at the same time, the most complicated in any given moment. 

Such is the roller coaster of our human existence and motherhood too, if that is your current vocation!

Here is what I want to share with you simply today. 

To love someone, including yourself, is a choice that you make and redecide to make, everyday!

You get to choose love in any and all situations, no matter what has taken place, or was said, or what you wished had been done or said. 

In fact, it is always the best choice.  Choose Love.

Jesus taught us to LOVE the Lord God and our neighbor with all our hearts,...

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How to Attain the Fruits of the Spirit

When I wanted to become a mother, I dreamed of how it would be. 

I saw myself as loving, sweet, attentive and trustworthy.

Though that was the case a lot of the time, I found that it wasn't as much as I had dreamed of.

Stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion led to disconnect, depletion and frustration which caused me to act in the opposite direction of how I had dreamt. 

 Shortly after a particular memorable "mommy yelling episode" when I lost my cool and I failed again at attempting to hold it together, 

I began being diligent with my prayers asking for the Fruits of the Spirit. 

I knew these gifts were ones that Mary, an inspiration for all mothers to look to, had set an example of these qualities.  I aspired to possess them as well.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. 

I am by no means perfect at them now or for every aspect of my motherhood, but I do exude them more often now. 

I also use...

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