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Turning A Pause Into Purpose

Mothers, by nature are great multitaskers.

I used to think this was a strength to add to a resume- I have great multitasking skills!

I'd find pride in keeping a lot of things going at once, and most of the time I'd feel like I was doing it well.

Sometimes though, I'd overestimate my abilities and underestimate my limits.

I'd pack my life with too much. 

I could easily get my life and my schedule so packed to the brim that I'd find myself trying to rush all the time.

Then I'd get annoyed and frustrated with myself and other people around me because I had taken on too much.

Though on a smaller level than our current world pandemic and stay at home situation,

a few years back, I was given a chance to take a pause in my life.

I was forced to have a slowed down pace and it brought a wildly different perspective on my life.

I took stock. I evaluated priorities, daily routines, and current commitments.

What happened for me is what I want to offer all of you: 

The call to...

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How to Hold On When God Says Not Yet

Twenty years ago, my husband and I were looking to buy our first home.

After searching for and visiting what seemed like over 100 homes, we thought we found THE perfect house for us. 

I was so excited!

It had everything we thought would be perfect for beginning our new married life and I prayed hard for the deal to go through. 

Instead, we were outbid by another couple and didn't get the house we wanted so much. 

God said "Not now. Not this one."

This whole process happened again with what we believed to be another "perfect" home.

I was so disappointed. God had said "No, not this one." AGAIN. 

Was God sleeping on the job? Didn't he care that I really wanted this house? How could this one not be His plan for me?  Afterall, they would have been perfect. 

But it wasn't long before another opportunity presented itself.

It was a better home, in a better neighborhood, with a better price.

We got that house and 20 years later, our first home, is still the...

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How To Get Unstuck

Last week, I had a really big decision to make.

I told myself I didn’t know what to do and I felt confused.  It felt awful.

To try and hurry out of this awful way of feeling, I polled my husband and friends and looked on the internet for answers on what to do.

Both my daughter and a client shared with me as I was looking for my answer that they too, were struggling with their own big decision. 

They felt stuck and wanted to feel relief as well. 

Trying to get unstuck had us going to each other for ideas or had us doing nothing at all. 

Both actions weren't getting us any closer to knowing.  

In fact, it was just adding to our confusion.

The relief any of us want, when deciding if we are making the right choice or not, comes in action step of actually making the decision itself.

Just pick something. Choose one of your possibilities.

You then get to pour energy into moving forward on your decision, energy that before the decision was made, was being used...

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Why Failing Works

A pile of failures may not sound like something fun to jump in to, like a pile of leaves or maybe a pile of money would!

But what if i told you that accumulating a pile of failures was what  will lead you directly to a pile of money and a pile of fun?!

It's true. Money or fun or accomplishments or freedom, whatever you are trying to reach for, will be attainable through failing and failing again and again.

In the scientific method you take a guess on what will work, you fail, you try a different way, you fail and you keep going until you get to what you were looking for. 

The same method is also the way to getting what you want in life.

Taking on something new and doing things you've never done before feels scary and hard, especially because we want to know all the steps to get there.

We want to know exactly what to do, but we are filled with self doubt and fear of the unknown.  This is actually a very good sign!

It tells us that it is something of importance to us,...

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How to Eliminate Fear

This week I want to share with you a perspective that was passed on to me by a fellow Catholic mom, life coach,  AND physician who is doctoring during this pandemic.   

She sent me the message via text and I knew i wanted to share it with you right away.   

I don't know who the author credit should be given to, but I am certain he/she meant for it to bring relief to those who need to hear it.  

And so I try to help in that effort as well:  

"Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.  

God: I know. Want to talk about it?  

Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know.  

God: Let's talk about it anyway... We've done this before.  

Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or stronger of something by now.  

God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed.  

Me: Okay. So, I'm afraid I'll do everything I can to protect my family and it...

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The Secret of Seeing The Good In Everything

My daughter yelled up from the basement, "Dad, I need your help!"

She discovered a swarm of bugs all around her ballet bag that had been on the downstairs floor.

Turns out the bugs were termites. 

At first, my mind went racing down a rabbit hole of how awful this is with the stay-at-home order during a pandemic and all.

How will we get someone here? Have they done any damage? How much will it cost?

But instead of indulging in a stream of thoughts that would make me feel awful, I immediately asked myself the question, "How could this be a good thing?"

I redirected my mind to think- "So glad we discovered these now. We have a family friend who is in the termite business to call. It's not a life or death situation. We will handle it and be fine." I immediately felt more calm

Turns out, discovering the location of where the termites were coming in the house then lead us to know that our sump pump wasn't working! 

Because of the termites, we were able to divert an even larger...

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Little Prayers With Big Impact

 

It doesn't take much to distract us these days.

There are conveniences on every corner, and I don't just mean a Walgreens Store!

It is easier than ever to satisfy our desires for thirst, hunger and connection because of modern technologies like running water, food delivery and Facetime on the Iphone. 

But everytime we feel like we have finally arrived.

Finally marked off all the to-do's on our list.

Reached the goal we set.

Have the amount of money we needed.

The  feeling of peace, success, achievement, arrives but soon it is replaced by a new task to conquer. 

It will always be fleeting.

Unless we go to the one place where peace is everlasting.

Our relationship with Christ.

We can easily be caught up in the way of the world- strive for the best, you can do it all, more is better. 

But this way of moving will always leave us wanting more.

There is only one place where we can find an everlasting peace.

It is found within our relationship with Christ. 

...
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How Perfectionism Can Be Perfect For You

You want things to be perfect.

So what is wrong with that? It can be a great human strength.

For things to be a certain way, look a  certain way and have them done the "right" way.

You have an innate drive to achieve, to succeed, to have more, and to be more.

Again, what is wrong with that?

The answer is- Nothing is wrong with it. Being a perfectionist can be perfect for your life- if it's working for you.

But if its not, then its probably time to take a different approach.

One where your need for control is lessened, your fear of failure overcome, and  your tendency to keep quitting on your dreams stops.

It's possible not to squelch your hardwired drive for excellence AND use the best of perfectionism to reach your fullest potential.

Embrace all that is serving you well and learn to let go of the rest.

Love,

Danielle

 

P.S. Curious to know more about how life coaching can be the thing that makes all the difference in your life? Try it for free. Sign up here...

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What To Do When Something Doesn't Feel Right

Today is my 20th wedding anniversary.Ancient ruins, White sand beaches. Blue mediterranean waters, Adventure and romantic relaxation. 

There was plans for a celebratory vacation to Greece, however, plans needed to be cancelled as our country takes measures to protect ourselves from Covid-19.

Prior, to HAVING to cancel, my inner spirit gave me subtle nudges that something wasn't quite right with timing of such a big trip.

Because of having built up a habit of connecting with God, His son and the Holy Spirit,  I have learned that when I don't feel peace about something, it is a signal that I need to pause, pray and seek a higher guidance.

We started planning months ago, hired a travel agent and paid our deposit.

I usually love all the time that leads up to actually going on the trip because it's full of anticipation, excitement and it usually means a couple of new outfits!

However, there wasn't a sense of peace, even as soon as the day we sealed the plans. 

Instead...

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How To Keep Going

Patience is a virtue that isn't easily accessible to us Type A mamas. 

I know that's just a belief I have and not necessarily true, but it feels true to me.

This week, I talked with my coach about how frustrated I am with a goal I set for myself. 

It seems like it's taking forever! It feels like it's never going to be fully realized.

She offered a helpful analogy which opened my mind, allowed an air of knowing to step in, and now I know my goal is coming soon.

Here is what she said:

A woman decided to learn how to ride a unicycle. She had never tried before and knew nothing about how to ride one. 

For 11 long hours she tried different ways, experimented, wobbled, fell, bruised herself and bled trying to learn how.

At times it was hard, frustrating and even painful.

The whole time she didn't know when she would finally reach her goal. 

She tried and failed for 11 hours.

Then, on the 12th hour she got it! She now knew what to do. She learned how to ride a...

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