The ABCs Of Interior Peace
Are you a mom who is feeling stressed, inadequate, out of control, or unworthy? Perhaps you are more frazzled than you want to be, feeling directionless and overwhelmed.
You want so badly to have more than little blips of peace in your life, more than fleeting moments of calm. You want certainty, ease, contentment, and joy.
I want to offer you seven concepts that can help you feel more peaceful as a mother in your day-to-day life. I call them the ABCs of Interior Peace.
Anytime you feel stressed, out of sorts, confused, or worried, I hope you will return those concepts and use them in your life.
The first concept is acceptance. I want you to move closer to a place of acceptance about what is happening in your life today. This includes yourself, the people around you, and the facts of your life.
Too often, we find ourselves saying things like I wish this wasn’t happening or I wish this person didn’t have this problem. Instead, we need to become aware of our current life and not argue about what’s happening. Don’t argue with the number on your bank account, the number on the scale, who you’re married to, or what age you are.
Whatever your circumstances are, moving to a place of acceptance of “what is” is the first step toward interior peace.
We all need to set healthy boundaries. It’s important to be aware of where you’re not setting boundaries in your life. Where are you saying you’re going to do something but then don’t follow through? When do you agree to do something you don’t want to do but do it anyway?
A boundary is something you create for yourself, which can be mistaken as a way to control other people. But that’s not the function of an emotional boundary.
An emotional boundary is much like a property boundary. It delineates where one person ends, and another one starts. It’s a way of drawing a circle around our behavior and ourselves.
It may seem that boundaries would separate us from others, but really they do quite the opposite. A boundary includes a request you make of someone to change a particular behavior and a consequence of what you will do to self-protect if they violate this boundary again.
We want to protect our interior peace. You want to be able to remain calm and feel certain about how you’re going to show up. Sometimes we have to promote our self-responsibility and empowerment to protect ourselves emotionally. This sometimes means that you have to clearly communicate to other people what you will and will not do.
A quick example of this is when it comes to school lunches. I tell my kids that I will put their lunch on the counter the night before, and I request they take their sandwich or the things I’ve prepared for them the night before from the fridge and put them in their lunch box. The boundary is that I’ve made the lunch and put everything out for them, and they need to remember to get it and put it in their backpack for school every morning.
If they don’t, the consequence is that I am not going to bring it to school. This happened just this morning. I came out, and my son’s lunch box was still on the counter. For a minute, I felt really frustrated. I felt it boiling up. But I reminded myself of my boundary.
Because my son knows that it’s his responsibility to get his lunch in his backpack, he also knows that he’s responsible for figuring out how to get lunch at school on his own. I didn’t have to let it interrupt my peace or the flow of my day to get it to him at school.
Are you setting healthy boundaries to maintain your interior peace? If not, then look at where you could set some and choose to follow through with them.
Courage has proved to be very important to my success in life, and it also contributes to the peace my internal peace.
When internal peace becomes an absolute priority and focus for you, you will need to be brave, step up, and take some courageous action to make the necessary changes in your life. Your actions, coming from courage, will be profound.
It will take courage to set and honor boundaries. For example, when you are asked to volunteer at school more often than you have decided you can, it will take courage to uphold your boundary and say no.
Having the courage to have your own back and stand up for yourself will make all the difference in allowing you more interior peace.
Decision-making is a skill set that I’m a huge proponent of. When you focus on becoming a skillful decision-maker, you’ll have more peace in your life. When you make decisions often and quickly, you will have more peace.
We have so many decisions to make in just one 24-hour period of our life. We are thinking things like, “Should we take this job? Should we go to this school? What should we have for dinner?” It’s constant decisions.
When we don’t make fast, strong decisions, we stay in confusion which is the opposite of interior peace.
Indecision feels terrible!
Look around your life and see where you feel that confusion because you’re not making strong decisions and begin to change that today.
E: Embrace the present moment
I’ve heard moms say they feel guilty for not being more present for their kids and family more times than I can count. What’s really happening is that, wherever you are in your life, you are spending your mental energy in the past thinking about things that are over and done with, or you’re spending your time in the future thinking about things that could happen from a place of worry.
When you are feeling negative feelings, it's because you were thinking about something in the past or the future. This will happen. You have a human brain, and that’s just what our brains do. But peace is found in the present moment.
Embracing the present moment is made possible when you redirect yourself to the now. Your brain will want to go to the past and the future. That’s normal! You have the human brain, and that's just what our brains do.
Notice where your thoughts are. If they are in the past or future, you’re probably out of peace. The present moment brings you right back to that nice place.
Forgiving ourselves and others is so important when it comes to internal peace. We are human beings. We make mistakes. We are not perfect. We will never be perfect until we go to our eternal resting place.
If you are reliving and not letting go of something you have done in the past, it is affecting your present. Is there someone right now who you’re having a hard time forgiving? So often, we think that the other person needs to apologize to be forgiven, or we just find ourselves not knowing how to forgive.
Do you spend a lot of mental energy reliving what happened or wishing them negativity or harm? The other person might be off living their life and not even thinking about it.
Notice how your interior peace is disrupted because of the mental anguish you’re creating for yourself. It’s time to let go and forgive them.
Forgiving yourself is also a huge part of this. You can choose thoughts that make it easier to let yourself let go of the perceived mistakes of your past. It’s not making you better. It’s just keeping you stuck.
Forgive yourself and take back your peace today.
This is a step that you can’t do on your own. However, grace is essential and is something given to us from above. We need to know how to call on God for grace every day of our lives. It’s essential.
As humans, we don’t get it right all the time. We’re navigating, growing, and just trying to figure out life and motherhood without an instruction book.
Know that you can call upon the grace of God to help you each day. Believe that you will receive the peace you are looking for when you ask.
Want More Peace? I Can Help.
I genuinely believe these ABCs can benefit your life through any stage of motherhood. I wish you more interior peace as you work on each of these things.
If one of these areas stood out to you, I’d love to talk with you about it. Join me for a free one-on-one Peace Strategy Call.
In just an hour of your time, you’ll have the skills to help you tackle your most pressing issue. So don’t put it off any longer. Schedule a call today!
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