[00:00:00] You are listening to Episode 271 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm going to take a second here on the front end to just reach out to anyone right now who is struggling, who is suffering, who feels stuck, who doesn't know what their next step should be.
It's easy when you think about the areas of life. Relationships, your emotional well being, time management, your finances, your physical health, your spiritual well being. If it's something with your career or a [00:01:00] business, if you have a side business, if you are met with a challenge or suffering or not having satisfaction in one of those areas, I want to extend an invitation to you.
Maybe this, what you're hearing today, is an answer to a prayer, and I would love for you to come sign up for a call with me. And let's talk through and see if the type of help that I have is something that's a perfect fit for your life right now. All the ways to be able to connect with me and what.
You know, I have so many things that could support you. And so definitely check out the show notes for that. But in addition, I am thrilled to offer you this episode today. My heart delights in thinking that God is connecting me with someone who really, really needs to hear this message. Like I mentioned in an episode a couple episodes ago, I think I was, I'm recently been cleaning out, doing some decluttering, downsizing, and [00:02:00] I have discovered a folder with a lot of information that I thought was very necessary or very impactful at the time.
And so I kind of saved it. It was important enough for me to save it and cut it out. And I'm so glad I did because this future version of myself finding it has just really found some gems and and you know, I wasn't a coach at the time that I found this and I didn't have this platform where I can speak and impact others.
So I'm so glad that I can share this stuff now. But here's something that I found. I had a, it was a newspaper. article and I cut it out like it is. I'm literally staring at this yellowing ripped up kind of, you know, so it was, it was back in the day when newspapers were a real thing, right? But this is what the headline of the article says.
It says woman doesn't understand demands of motherhood. And what it was is it was somebody who didn't [00:03:00] have children who was writing in saying she didn't quite get. Why her friends, the ones with children, couldn't spend time with her or do the things that she thought they should be doing. And she kind of even felt like when the mom offered her, the mom friend offered her you know, a reason why that she was just making up the excuse.
And so I know us moms can like, you know, we can chuckle at that. But what I have seen is that, they're just people who just don't know and don't understand. And not only the, the people who don't have children, right? I am finding that even my own, the own moms, and I was probably a victim of this before too.
I wasn't fully aware and seeing all that was going in to to my life, all that was doing, all that I was doing. I [00:04:00] don't, I think some of you out there need to hear what I'm offering today, because we, there's, there's some vital things you're just maybe not remembering or aware of that I'm. I want to bring to your attention today.
So whether you're listening while you are making school lunches, maybe you're commuting to work right now, or maybe you're just stealing a few quiet moments between activities, I want to share something important with you that was instigated from me reading this article. And I'm calling it a love letter. A love letter to every mom, whether you work outside the home or your work is primarily within it as a stay at home mom.
It doesn't matter. I'm just in general offering this love letter to all moms. You see, in my years of coaching, I have noticed something that it actually breaks my heart. So many of us focus on [00:05:00] what isn't done at the end of the day, instead of celebrating what we have accomplished. We, this is, there was a book recently and it says it's when you're focusing on the gaps of life instead of the gains of life.
We, we'll look just, you know, what's, let's say it's the unfolded laundry rather than focusing and remembering that we read stories to our children that day, or we gave them hugs or we shared some wisdom. So I want to paint a picture of what you're really doing every day. I want to remind you today to bring you peace in your heart that there are things that rarely make it onto your to do list, but are infinitely more valuable than anything you're probably putting on right now.
And I'm going to just do a little bit of speaking directly to moms with young children as like a few examples and reminders, and then with older and maybe [00:06:00] teenagers and beyond. So for those of you with young children, right, you're not just watching the kids during the day, right?
You are teaching a whole life language. By your words and actions, you're building the foundation of their faith through your daily examples, you're developing their emotional intelligence with each interaction you have with your child, you're creating a sense of security that will last a lifetime.
You're showing them what love looks like in action. And this is true for any age of children, really, and maybe those with a little bit older or teenagers, you can look at it as you are for sure being a sounding board for complex emotions and challenges that arise with them. You're modeling how to navigate relationships and responsibilities.
You're teaching discernment in this [00:07:00] kind of complicated world that we're living in. You're maintaining connection while also trying to encourage their independence. You're creating a home that they'll want to return to, right? This is something that I brought up in last week's episode and notice how those things are happening.
Did you have any one of those things on your to do list? Right? Oh, today I'm going to create a sense of security that will last a lifetime. Today I'm going to teach some discernment to my children, right? Like we don't do that. But I want you to see that regardless of whether the kitchen is clean or the laundry is done, these things are happening.
You need to have awareness and celebrate yourself, pat yourself on the back, whatever it takes to see. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm doing such like valuable work here. So to the working moms, when you are rushing from meetings to soccer practice, you're not just juggling. You're [00:08:00] showing your children what it looks like to pursue your calling while also prioritizing your family.
You're teaching them valuable lessons about responsibility and dedication and balance and be an example of, of, you know, just having that activity and honoring something that you desire in your heart. Right? And the same thing is also happening for stay at home moms. Right? When you're managing the household and family life, you're not just quote at home, you're living out and creating an environment where your family can, you know, be the best that they can be. Where your memories are made, where values are instilled moment by moment.
And again, even though I called out stay at home moms, the working moms, you're doing that as well.
And here's what I wish. Every mom could see about your daily life that that 45 minute trip to the [00:09:00] grocery store, right? Should have taken only 15 minutes. You're not being inefficient as you're there. You're teaching patience and maybe safety and decision making. Maybe even there's like some math going on as you compare prices or, you know, kind of like explain things.
Those moments when you're enforcing boundaries about screen time or bedtime with your children, you're not just being strict, you're teaching them. There's self regulation skills there that are going to serve them throughout their lives. lives. But maybe your brain just focuses on, Oh, here's another one of those fights or battles, and you're not seeing it from a perspective where it's teaching self regulation, right?
What about that time you spent listening to your teenager talk about what seemed like a really trivial drama? And maybe your brain was like, Oh, you know, I should be doing X, Y, and Z. But it's not just a [00:10:00] chat. You're actually building trust and you're teaching them how to process their emotions and work through relationships.
There's a constant vigilance, this continuous use of your voice that has to happen. Like when you're a mom, right? There's a regulation of your needs sometimes to putting off till later. It's actively shaping young lives. This is what we're doing day in and day out. You're teaching virtually everything.
And I really loved this reminder from this article. It's saying, you know, we're teaching, we've been teaching our kids language. We're teaching them manners. We're teaching them safety. We're teaching them resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything. But again, think about at the end of our day, when you're thinking all the things you're done, were you like, Oh, I definitely checked off.
Yep. I taught the manners today. Or, you know, all the taking them to the camps or the library, the [00:11:00] park or the daily things. You're like, Yep. I check off my list. I taught them creativity today. I noticed that there needs to be a shift, a shift in your mindset about the to dos, okay? And here's something crucial to remember.
Whether you work outside the home or within it, you're making choices that are right for your family. And both paths involve saying yes to some things and no to others. Both paths are valuable. Both paths are holy. So when you collapse into that bed or chair at the end of the day, and you're looking around at what still needs to be done or what I didn't get done, what I said I was going to, I want you to try something different from now on, instead of doing this mental catalog or, you know, filing of what's left undone, I want you to take a moment, preferably more than just a moment to acknowledge what you have accomplished.
Not just those visible [00:12:00] tasks that like, you know, that our earthly society wants us to, to take a look at, but the invisible work, the invisible work, the holy work, the internal work of building other humans, of supporting other humans, of guiding other humans for yourself, too. You've probably done this during the day.
I can attest that your brain is not seeing this. You probably answered countless questions. You probably were a model of how to problem solve. You showed forgiveness, you taught resilience, you demonstrated faith and action, you built your child's confidence, you created security for them, you fostered independence, you nurtured their dreams, you're creating and preserving, helping them to preserve memories, right?
You are amazing. And as your coach, and that's how I see myself for you, you listeners. I deeply care about you, [00:13:00] and many of you I will never meet. I would love to. I would love to, by the way, even if it's just virtually, right, through an email, but I know I care about your peace of mind, and I want you to know that you're doing so much more than you realize, and your influence extends far beyond the tasks on your to do list.
But before I let you go today, before I wrap up this love message, love letter, as I've kind of put it. Many of you may choose to hear what I had to say. And you're gonna want to use it against yourself. You're gonna, you're gonna say, well, there's a part of your brain that's going to be telling you and it's a lie that you're not doing those things or you're not doing them well, or that.
Oh, yeah. Well, I may be doing that a little bit, but I'm also yelling and not demonstrating my faith in in action. And I'm really like, I am being more [00:14:00] controlling and I'm not fostering their independence as much as I should. And I want you to just know, just for me pointing it out, if you catch yourself, like, yes, I'm discounting all the things Danielle said, I found an excuse and showed where I'm not doing that, and then your body feels bad because its default was, no, I'm not really doing that.
I want to, to show you and just tell you today that you're wrong. Your brain is wrong. It offers us wrong things all the time and that you can tell it quiet down, be quiet. Or you can say, you know, you're offering me that, but I'm the one that gets to choose my truth and I'm choosing and I'm going to go look for the ways I am already doing these things that Danielle just reminded me and brought to my attention.
And for you moms who really feel far and distance from what I've said before, I hope that there's lots of moms who'd be like, yes, [00:15:00] I am doing that. Yes, yes, yes. But the ones that are like, Hmm, am I, I'm not sure, go back, re listen and write down the list of things that I have said that I know that you're doing and not like having some focus on so that you can then see and find the ways where you are.
That it is a checklist, like proving your self critical mind wrong. Okay. And again, with everything I offer here, if this seems impossible for you, if you see that this is a big, a big obstacle to you having peace, then don't try to go at it alone.
Because I can help you. So if you're struggling to find peace in your chosen path of maybe whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom working outside the home mom, but just had a a session or two recently with a particular client who I'm thinking. [00:16:00] About, and this is exactly what we helped her come to come to more of a piece around her decision to, to stay at home while she watched others make a transition and not saying that she may not have a decision later to go back to her vocation of teaching.
But I love that. It's all about choosing and deciding what's best for you right now and cultivating as much confidence and peace around that. And there is, there is that help for you. If you're someone who struggles with that and you just have to sign up for a call with me and we can talk it through.
For all of you listening, I hope that today's love letter helped you recognize and celebrate the incredible impact you are having on your family, [00:17:00] regardless of what you're going through. Okay, so until next week, I hope you see yourself through my eyes today, what I know is happening, and of course through God's eyes and recognize that you are doing holy work every single day.
All right, mamas, thank you so much for being here and may peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools.
To create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me, or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life, and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help. Become an empowered [00:18:00] mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course. Divine time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also, don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method. How To Call On Your God-Given Power To Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll [00:19:00] find all the details in the show notes too, until next time, peace be with you.
