Episode 273 Transcript
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You are listening to episode 273 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello there, beautiful Mamas. Welcome to another episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. I'm your host, Danielle Thienel, certified life coach, creator of the Cyclone Mom Method. And [00:01:00] most of all, I'm a fellow mom who knows exactly what it's like to feel like life keeps happening to you instead of feeling like you are in charge and you are in control of it, and you are feeling confident about it.
But, that is what I am so excited to be offering you this next month of episodes. Well, it's four episodes right in, in one month, one a week that I am calling the expert series. You are in for a treat. I did not mention it on my last episode, but or maybe I did because this idea was brewing for a while and as as many of my, you know, longtime listeners know, I batch ahead of time, so.
I am planning on releasing this expert series in the month of May. Now, I'm always careful about how much I date my episodes because I know that these live out there and sometimes people find them years [00:02:00] after they were first released, but at least some context is that I had this idea. In May that I know where you, your mindset goes, your mama's at that time of year, a lot of us are preparing for the summer and the changes that summer brings.
And I also know it's been a little while since I've done any episodes that aren't the solo ones that have other people on that I interview. And I'd love to hear your feedback because I am totally willing to do more of these expert series, more interviews with other people. Maybe you've been listening to me in these 270 plus episodes and you like having a different perspective and voice, but I know that I'm not an expert in everything.
And I wanted to do a series to help us prepare for the summer, but also for you to [00:03:00] hone in on what I know is really important to busy moms. And so this first expert series podcast is gonna be me. I've picked out what I think is going to be something that will really help you. And then the next few weeks, I will be bringing interviews to you on nutrition and meal planning, organization, and I'm gonna do next week is gonna be a sleep consultant. So sleep, nutrition, organization, and then a really, really powerful action and mindset tool is what I'm gonna talk about today. So definitely if you're not following the show already, so you get notifications when the next episode drops.
Don't miss this expert series and again, I would love to hear what you think about them. And if you want more interviews, I'm happy to do that as well. But today you have me. [00:04:00] Okay? This episode I'm gonna be bringing you. And the ones that are following in the few weeks from the interviews, what I think is specialized knowledge, and I, and I've kind of been helping you prepare for a peaceful summer.
So while the upcoming episodes, as I mentioned, will feature experts on sleep, nutrition, organization today, I am gonna step into my role as your life coach. And yes, I do see myself as everybody who listens. I am your life coach and I hope you know I'm going to share what I believe. It is the single most powerful tool for creating peace in your busy life.
That's a huge statement, right? Because I have lots of tools and I've helped lots of people in many, many ways over many areas of their life, and I really ask myself to distill it down into one single one. [00:05:00] What would I say? And this is what I came up with, the power of the pause. So. Like I said, if I could distill everything I've learned in my five years of coaching countless women down to one transformative practice that will change your life, it would be this one, learning to pause this seemingly, I know when you hear it.
Simple act right? This momentary space between a new circumstance that comes in your life. And the response we have to it. This is where your ultimate power lies. This is where peace is cultivated, and this is where transformation begins right there in the pause. And so let me, let me repeat what, what the pause gives you.
It gives you empowerment. [00:06:00] Right, so you, this answers the, what do I do next? How do I move on from here? Right? It answers that question. Okay. In the pause is where peace is cultivated because peace comes. From what we are choosing to make everything happening in our life, what it means to us. This is going inside, internally, to our mind, to our thoughts, and that is actually what creates peace.
And without the pause, we can't go into our minds to evaluate. And then in the pause is where transformation begins. I do have a tool and a process that's called the Simple Process, and the three steps are awareness, acceptance, and adjustments. And without awareness you can't even get to the next step where you have change in transformation.
And so again, awareness. Is [00:07:00] brought to you. Only when you pause to look for it, to become aware, to question something, to decide on purpose. That is what happens in the pause. So just settle in a little bit. Mama. I want you to turn up the volume. I want you to take a deep breath. If, if you're on a walk, it might mean that you wanna come back and listen to this episode again, so you can take notes.
But this one's important. It literally is like, what? As an expert of helping busy moms and helping you move towards more peace, more joy, more balance in your life. And as my cyclone mom method strategically provides more calm, more control, more confidence in your life it in order to have [00:08:00] all of those things that I know you desire.
It is about learning how to tap into the power of the pause. So let's explore how this one practice could really revolutionize your motherhood journey and all the aspects of your life. All right, let me start by asking you a question. How many times have you found yourself reacting to your children, your spouse, or a situation in a way that you later regretted?
How often have you felt swept away by the current of your day where you're moving from task to task without truly being present for any of them? One of those, how did I get here? Or where did the time go? Right. I know this feeling intimately and years ago. Before I discovered the [00:09:00] tools of life coaching, my origin story was that I was perpetually overwhelmed.
I was rushing through my days. I was snapping at my kids. I was feeling disconnected from my husband wondering where the joyful patient mom that I had wanted to be and aspired to be where she had disappeared to. I was caught in what I now call the cyclone, the cyclone swirl. That swirling like vortex of of reactivity where life happens to you rather than for you.
And that's the metaphor that cyclone swirl, that was me like almost every day. And I just picture myself flailing around in that swirl just going round and round, just spinning. And my turning point came when I wish I could say when I learned about the power of the pause, but that's not really what happened.
I was actually forced to discover the [00:10:00] power of the pause. Maybe that's what I should have called this, this episode. So I've, I've told my story before, but I'm gonna tell it again here because it really underscores the theme of this episode, and it was literally that I was forced to pause in my life because it came in the form of becoming sick as I had middle schoolers with activities, like three of them each.
And they were all the time after school in different places. And I was working a job outside the home and I was renovating my home or moving my parents close by and there was renovations there. And then all that comes with life of owning, you know, a house and then being in a marriage and, and you know, rearing kids and putting your faith life in there.
I mean, you all have your, you know, my story is not different from all of you, but [00:11:00] I got sick in it and in that I physically was forced to pause. My sickness was the flu that then morphed to bronchitis, and it was about a two week period where I was literally like in the bed.
And because of that pause. Right. I then was able to kind of reevaluate life. I, I kind of learned some things. I started, I, I started seeing some results. And the main one was that life actually continued without me. Like I, I had this really strong belief system that I needed to be the one, and it had to be done this certain way.
But guess what? The kids still got to their practices. They still had meals they were fed and bathed and, and, and things worked out. And in that pause, this was where I, I just had a different perspective about myself and about life and [00:12:00] I reprioritized things. I ended up leaving that job outside the home, but I just, because of that pause in life, something really magical happened to me.
I then became the author of my experiences from then on rather than being its victim. To, to really put it in a, like a harsh, I, I had always prior to that pause, had lived at like the victim hood of not enough time, of it's other people's faults or my emotions. If they, you know, if, if my boss was in a bad mood, then that was the reason why I was in a bad mood.
And so this pause, like again, it's a physical pause and the fruit from it was that my perspective changed. And from this, this was the [00:13:00] catalyst. I feel like this was the first domino that then led me to the dominoes that included meeting with a life coach, learning about where I got certified to be a life coach and.
Really seeing the changes that I had been dreaming about in my life and trying to do, but it wasn't the way I was going about, it wasn't fruitful because I was missing the vital information that life coaching and the tools and the concepts and strategies provided me, and I never would've gotten there if there was not a pause.
And I know that this isn't just my personal experience. As a certified life coach who has worked with, I can easily say hundreds of moms, over the years I've witnessed this same transformation again and again when I've provided the tools, the strategies and concepts and the the how to, and that includes the [00:14:00] cyclone mom method that teaches you how to build in this pause in your life.
And I don't want you to wait to, to be a physical one where you're sick and it causes you. I want you to be proactive about deciding today. Right as you're listening to this from this episode, that I am gonna dedicate my time and energy to learning how to become someone who gets better at pausing. Just even saying that out loud to you all, and to think about a listener who might be hearing me and might take that on as a challenge, I'm so just humbled and thrilled and grateful and happy for you, knowing that there's so much good stuff on the other end of being somebody who has the skill and is really good at pausing. I [00:15:00] have helped women who are like myself, who felt constantly overwhelmed and could see themselves as being so reactive and then disconnected.
Right. And I have found and watched them, that learning to pause then completely transforms their experience of motherhood in such a positive way. And they've shared testimonials, right? They are out there about feeling more present with their children, more connected with their spouses, more intentional with their choices, and yes, significantly more peaceful in their daily lives.
I literally got off of a call with one of my one-on-one clients today. Her name is Amanda. Shout out to you, Amanda, if you're listening to this. And I had told her when, when she was, she was sharing with me some wins and how she's seeing that her life's, you know, transforming. And then she wanted to tell me about how [00:16:00] she like she stopped herself and she was like, you know, seeing how she might really get caught up in the swirl.
I'm trying to think of the specifics right now. I know we talked about her mom today. Or no, it was, it was definitely some friends, right? And I guess they were, she was observing and watching how they were maybe in their life, getting caught up in the swirl of what was happening. And she was just like, now wait.
I said, she was telling me, now wait a minute, I said to myself. Look, let me just pause here and let me just see, right? Like do I really have to like go down this route? Is there something else that's gonna help me and support me here? And while she was saying that, I had already known that later today, I was planning on recording this, this podcast.
So I was like. Amanda, I'm about to talk about exactly what you are doing in your life from having us work [00:17:00] together. She has taken the time to learn the power of the pause and implementing it in her life, and she is just so, so fun and heartwarming because this is exactly what I wanna do is transfer this knowledge I have so you all can benefit from it.
And then again, like she was able to share her knowledge with that friend and that friend benefited from watching her take that pause there. There's just so much beauty in it and you pausing costs nothing. It requires no special equipment. It can be practiced anywhere, anytime, and the impact is profound.
So I just want you to open up to that, right? You, you actually know how to pause, right? You know how to do that, but [00:18:00] if it's not natural to you, if what's natural is reactiveness, then could you put this as the forefront? Could this be your new goal? And when that happens, you are literally just going to practice it.
You're gonna make it a focus, make it a goal. And this is what happens when we pause. We create space. Space to think. Okay. And everything in my practice boils down to that, right? It boils down to getting to know more what's going on in your brain, how your brain works, and what your thoughts are. The ones that you have captured, the ones that you think on the regular, the ones that have become so natural to you that they're actually your make up, your belief system, right?
And we are getting. I'm asking to get to the, you get to the point where this is what your goal is, is what, [00:19:00] what am I thinking? What could I think differently that might be more helpful? And when you do this, when you get somebody who's really aware of your mindset and aware of, of evaluating what's going on inside your mind, then in order to do that.
That's definitely pausing, right? My, my clients pause in their week to come getting help. On learning from their life and learning how they could create more pause in it and what to do in that pause. And what are the, the questions to ask and the tools to grab, to enhance the pause. And when you do, you will connect with your intentions.
Rather than react from your emotions, you will be able to remember who you want to [00:20:00] be in a moment and then carry that out. You'll be able to access your own wisdom that would apply to that certain situation rather than just operating from your like default conditioning. When you pause, you will choose your response deliberately and intentionally, rather than defaulting to those patterns, and you will bring a new presence to yourself, to the present moment so that you can choose what would be most beneficial to you and what matters most to you.
That is some of the beautiful gifts that are found in the pause. Now we all, we all experienced a collective pause during the Covid pandemic. This is another way I want you to look at that. While that period of time, it did come with tremendous challenges and [00:21:00] heartache. So I don't want to belittle that at all.
And my, my love and my heart goes out to any of those who lost loved ones or had a really challenging time with that pandemic. But many moms, including myself, my own testimony about that time have shared that it also offered some unexpected gifts. It really did offer us the chance to step out of the hamster wheel of activities and commitments and constant motion.
It's actually been dubbed, I don't know if you've heard this as the Great Pause, just like there was the Great Depression. Our time of the Covid Pandemic is called by many the great pause. During this pause, this is where families found new rhythms and many of us rediscovered simple [00:22:00] pleasures, right?
Board games, family meals, neighborhood walks. I know for my own family, we had come up with this routine because we all were working on like different activities at home, but we met every day at noon for lunch and the five of us were together for lunch to talk things through, and we met again back at six o'clock for dinner.
I get a little teary-eyed thinking about just the, I remember we all just loved that connection and before the pause, that wasn't happening. It was soccer practice, gymnastics. It was robotics club, it was dance lessons. It was putting together a quick meal. It was passing with my spouse, right as we were.
One was getting in the car and the other one coming home from work. But we were forced to pause our normal routines. And in that space, many of us found a new clarity about what truly mattered. [00:23:00] And I do remember coaching some many moms during that time who, despite the stress and uncertainty, were discovering some important truths about their lives.
They were realizing that they'd been overcommitting their families, recognizing there was unhealthy patterns that they wanted to change. And then a lot of them said, including myself, that we connected more deeply with our children then we had in years. And as we all return to, I'm doing air quotes here, normal life, many of us did rush back into the busyness.
Right? But the wisest among us, including, including myself, that I, I really you know humbly mention that I did carry forward this important lesson that there was power in the intentional pause, right? Not a pandemic forced pause, but the choice. The [00:24:00] choice we have to create space in our days for reflection, for connection, for intentionality.
That is like the main theme that I, I don't want another pandemic, but I do want that, that great pause for all of us. All right now I would be misleading you all, and as you listen to this, I don't want you to carry away this thought about me. I don't wanna mislead you if, if you are thinking or if I've suggested in any way that I've mastered this practice myself perfectly.
In fact. I have a very, it's vulnerable. But let me share a recent example when I did fail to pause and how it affected me. So I recently took a trip with my son and I was with him and his, [00:25:00] many of his friends, and each of those, friends moms was very special trip I might add. As this son turning turned 18 and is graduating soon, I'm really doing what matters to me is to focus on my time with him before he goes off to college.
And I was so excited about this special time together. And we had a wonderful time. I would say that even when we were going out of the country, so we were met with this long hours and custom line and things like that, I was really able to, to stay calm and to use my coaching tools and to really you know, intentionally pick how I wanted to react to what some people might say negative situations.
But then I also had, don't get me wrong, for five days. It was, it was pretty magical, is how I really, it was tons of fun. And so in general, you can look at this as a vacation, as like a pause in [00:26:00] our regular routine and how that will regenerate us and rejuvenate us and give us rest. And that's what vacations are about, right?
Vacations are a perfect example to say like, if we built in more pauses, more vacations, would we all be better for it? My opinion is yes. But anyways, I'm getting to the, where I failed to pause part. So on what was going to be the last day, right? The last day, or last full day. We were leaving the next day a circumstance, so.
I guess like the scientific name was like a stimulus sort of came into my world and that was one of the other moms received a text message from their husband telling us about how the weather was going to be terrible the next day, and he thought she should try and leave that day like. The day that we still were all talking about, I mean, we were at breakfast, we were thinking about going to like a workout and we had a cabana reserved for the rest of the day.
I mean, I could just already [00:27:00] visualize. We had so much fun the days before. It was going to be another wonderful day, a dinner all planned and everything. And as soon as that came in that, you know, hey, bad weather's coming. I did not pause. Okay. I want you to see, like if you could watch, what happened was that my brain did go and just immediately make, oh no, this is bad.
That's an emergency. I can, you know, visualize terrible weather. And what if it's canceled and we're stuck in the airport and I really want to get home? You know, all the things that your brain says you want to get home and prepare before, you know, the school week starts and things like that. But I just watched this friend and myself and the other mom just, you know, then began to speak out loud and just reiterate the story that this was bad and we need to take action fast.
And the other one [00:28:00] text her husband. I think I went right on my airplane app and was looking, and then I thought my, my brain just, oh man, I think of like a flipping Rolodex. I'm dating myself by even saying that word. I know, but where I was just going real fast with, oh, I'll have to do this and this and this, and we'll have to tell my son and we'll have to pack and, you know you know, what do we do?
We already paid for the cabana and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. Let me get to the point, get to my point that the rest of the next few hours. I wouldn't say I'm totally proud of how I act, or I was really getting frustrated with the airplane app and the computer, and I couldn't get on the wifi. And I even had a friend say something like, wow, Danielle, you know, this is a different side of you.
And so that, of course, my brain wanted to like assign shame around and everything like that. But the point is, is that. I didn't pause through any of this, even through the next couple hours. [00:29:00] And yes, we went through with coming home early and it wasn't until I got on the plane when again, you're probably physically, you know, forced to pause there for a few hours.
I was literally like, wow, wait a minute. You know, could I have stayed? Could I have been wrong? Could everything be okay? Was there another way to handle this? It was then later that the pause came, but I really wanted to show you that I wasn't able to in the moment do the pause. I'm just gonna fast forward to the end and the end is, you know, we got home that night late and the way that I'm wired and because of coaching I can look and find the good things.
We were upgraded to first class on one of the legs of the flight, which my son had, you know, that was exciting for him. And we were home for his full like [00:30:00] birthday, but the next day. I did have a little bit of what you call that, like, you know, shame, hangover and just know that my friends who did stay and carried out the rest of the vacation, they did get home on time.
Like there was some rain. And even actually I think when I landed at night, there was some turbulence that was probably worse than would've what would've happened the next day. But I wanted to show you that I'm not perfect at this and I know that some of all you would relate, and I'm all for also seeing that I did eventually pause afterwards so that I could evaluate and learn and, and, you know.
Help support myself and see that I'm human and natural. But I do think that if in that moment I was able to bring in the power of the pause, I would've had a different outcome. That would've been what I'm kind of labeling [00:31:00] as more fruitful now. Things always work out how they're supposed to and how do we know that?
Because that's what happened and I wouldn't be able to be talking, sharing that with you right now. So so yeah, so see how I can say like, it kind of glad it happened, but. I just wanted to show you that, you know, that evening I just recommitted to myself. Okay. I just wanna get back on practicing the pause bandwagon.
Right? So I hope that that story showed you that I'm human too, but I won't stop trying to master and become better at pausing because of the benefits that I know it has now. I just feel like I wanna like interject here that the process of the cyclone mom method, it will, in order to follow it, it will automatically having you pause.
So when you call on your [00:32:00] faith, which is the first step, we have to pause in our life to do that. When we have to get specific about creating our goals, you, you are actually pausing in order to do that. When you're connecting more with yourself, you're pausing to evaluate your life and seeing where is it that I need to make some adjustments, maybe add some self-care.
We are actually pausing, so I wanted to put, definitely just say that. Again, the Cyclone Mom method is to help you have more peace in your life. So I'm just gonna put a plug in here for my book that if any of you feel like you wanna get better at the pause, I just, that is a beautiful place to start is learning that process of the Cyclone Mom method and there's always links to be able to purchase that at in the show notes.
Okay, so for those of us moving on here, so. I also want you to see that there's a [00:33:00] sacredness to the pause. So for those of us with faith at the center of our lives, there is a sacred dimension to this pause, and that's the intentional moments we spend in prayer and connection with God, which again, in order to do that, we will be pausing on doing other things in our life.
And so this is not separate from the practice that we're discussing here today. It's perhaps its most profound expression of the pause, the most beneficial, the most fruitful of pausing because when we pause to pray throughout our day, and you know, if you've been listening for any length of time, I'm always underscoring that that does not have to be a huge chunk of time.
It could be a simple phrase. And whether it's a moment of gratitude before a meal, a little whispered, prayer for patients during a challenging moment with our children, where it's dedicated time in scripture and [00:34:00] reflection, I've definitely become more skilled of adding this to my daily life. Then we are engaging in the ultimate pause.
We're stepping out of the human doing mode and into the human being mode. Reconnecting with our creator and source of all peace. And I've found in my own life that the more I integrate those sacred pauses into my day, the more peaceful my experience becomes. Period. It's just the law of how it works, and it's not that the external circumstances change, right?
Your children will still squabble, the laundry still piles up, deadlines still loom. But your relationship to those circumstances transformed And I find myself approaching life's challenges with more grace, more wisdom, and yes, more peace. And I know they purely come, [00:35:00] ultimately come from those daily pauses that I worked into my life to connect with God.
And this is available to you too, mama. Sacred pause of prayer is perhaps the most powerful form of this practice. And I really wanted to underscore that. Right. Okay. Let's get a little practical now. There are so many moments in a mom's life where we rushed through things without pausing, but if we did, we'd feel more peace, connection, and intentionality with our lives.
We'd feel more control and purposeful and, and we'd be confident. And here are some examples that I want to give you of when we don't pause, but maybe we wanna try in the future. Okay. Okay, so here's our, and just kind of, I'm gonna break them up, right? I want us to see like those daily life activities we all relate to, and then there's the, like, the emotional kind of reactions we [00:36:00] have.
And then I'm gonna offer some big picture thinking because I want you to zoom out about this, right? Okay. So, in our daily life, we, we've got the morning rush and instead of scrambling to get everyone out the door, we might pause to take a deep breath. Before waking the kids, or we might say a quick prayer for patients.
Okay. When interruptions happen, instead of snapping, like when someone interrupts while we're working or whatever we're doing, we might pause to look at them in the eyes and just acknowledge them before we redirect them. During all of your household chores, instead of mindlessly cleaning, we might pause to notice the home that you have, and you might say, a moment of gratitude at mealtime, you might pause to engage in conversation and in actually enjoy the food, right?
Instead of rushing through a meal. [00:37:00] In our emotional reactions, like let's say, let's say one of our kids is melting down and instead of reacting immediately with frustration, maybe we might pause to check our own emotions, right? Because usually our reactions are coming from our own negative emotions, right?
But what if because of that pause, we are able to think something about our child that brings us calm or about ourselves, it brings us calm and we handle it from that. If we're feeling any mom guilt, maybe instead of spiraling into guilt, let's say over being impatient or maybe too much screen time or something, we might pause and offer ourself grace.
You know, we might be like, ah, this is okay, and here I am being human again. When we are comparing ourselves when it kind of strikes us instead of feeling behind. We might pause ourselves and remind us how we're [00:38:00] worthy. And let's say if we were, I don't know, comparing ourselves on other families or on, we were scrolling on social media, a pause might be, oh, now wait a minute.
That's somebody else's highlight reel. But reminding myself, yeah, what's, what's going on with my own life that I wanna put my, you know, intention to. Okay, so here's some big picture thinking stuff. At the end of the day, I know this is a tough one, but instead of collapsing into bed, feeling like you didn't do enough, could we pause to reflect on the small wins and God's grace in the day?
I just did a recent podcast that focused on this, right? Looking at the wins before you say yes or no to something. Could you pause and instead of automatically just committing right to something [00:39:00] or declining it out of overwhelm, could you pause to ask if maybe that it, does this align with my priorities or not?
So you're coming from that place of power to make a decision that will benefit you. Maybe you were asked a hard question. Right, and you were, instead of rushing to give advice or solve like your child's problem, you might pause to ask what they think and you might guide them to their own insight, right?
Moms just wanna rush right into fix, fix, fix, and this is what you should do and try this, right? This. But maybe we could pause and say, Hey, tell me what's going on. Tell me more about that. Is there anything you'd like me to do or say for you right now? What do you think? And we help them come to their own insight before reacting to your [00:40:00] spouse, right?
Instead of assuming the worst, when your husband says something, could we pause to clarify what he meant? Or might ask him, oh, tell me why you think that would be a good idea, or is there something behind this that you know you wanna share that pause before reaction in our spiritual life, as I always want to weave our faith in here before you get out of bed, instead of grabbing the phone, if that's what you do.
First thing, could you pause to say a short prayer? Sometimes I literally say, this is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad, and then I tick my, put my feet on the floor. When you're feeling overwhelmed, instead of pushing through the stress, can you pause? Take a deep breath, ask God for guidance before making a big decision.
Maybe you pause to seek wisdom and prayer and [00:41:00] scripture. And these might seem like small moments to all of you, right? But I promise you, mama, these small pauses add up to a completely different experience of motherhood. They create space for intention, connection, wisdom, and peace.
And as I'm like talking about these small moments, I'm thinking about my beautiful 10% healthier group. My program that I help people make small changes that add up to big results in their physical health. And, and I know if, if you're one of those clients right now, you're listening and be like, oh, no, no, I totally believe that all these small pauses will add up. Right? They, they really will transform your experience of motherhood.
Okay. So I definitely have made this a long episode. But I am just going to add this one thing, right? So how do we make this practice stick, right? How do we transform from being a mom of reactivity to one of responsiveness? [00:42:00] And here's just a few strategies I have found helpful in my own life and in my, in my coaching, this is offered.
Okay? And that is to remind you that we first always start with awareness. We just want to simply notice more in our life when we're rushing, when we're reacting, what are the triggers of those reactions? Are we moving on autopilot? There's no judgment. This was so me, and this is mostly every mom that comes to me, right?
We just need that awareness. It's crucial and everything that I'm gonna offer here. You don't have to go out any of this alone. If you're someone who doesn't feel like you have the awareness that is needed that's exactly what coaching and having a life coach will provide. Second, I wanna offer, maybe you create some pause reminders, right?
These could be visual cues around your home. It could be a special jewelry that reminds you to pause when you touch it. I say that because I have my miraculous metal ring on my hand, and I definitely use [00:43:00] that as a pause. Maybe some random alarms on your phone. Label them the pause. Maybe you get some notifications like you set the alarm and it'll say the pause time or something.
Third, practice this pause in what I'm gonna call low stake situations. Don't wait until you're in the middle of a conflict with your teenager to try this out for the first time. Well. Trying it out anytime you're gonna learn from it, whether we totally like, don't get the result we want or not, but practice this when you're calm with the little different things in our lives when the, like, when the stakes are low.
I'm trying to think. Like I was just sitting in the living room the other night with my husband watching a show and the TV just turned off like, literally like it just boop. Done. We could look at that as like a low stake, right. Old me would really be like, what's going on? What happened? This right in the middle of the show, [00:44:00] like, oh, you know, and the other night it was just like, okay.
Alright. Yeah, this is probably a good time to go to the restroom. This is my husband just turned on and off the, what do you call it, that electrical box, and then it was fine. Okay. Third practice the pause, or I just did that one in low stakes situations. Fourth, celebrate your pauses. You guys think I'm a broken record player?
I know when I'm just like mamas. You have got to celebrate more than you do. You've gotta see all your wins. And when you notice yourself pausing before reacting, that should be noted. You should say it out loud. You should like physically pat yourself on the back. This reinforces those neural pathways in your brain that makes practicing more likely to stick.
Right? And finally, like I needed to be with my explanation of my trip with my son, I [00:45:00] want you to be gentle with yourself when you forget to pause. We all do sometimes. We're human. The path to becoming a more peaceful mom, it is never about perfection. It's always about just learning, progressing, and giving yourself grace.
Okay. I, I really do feel like I could, I could go into more depth and talk about how to pause, especially what comes to mind is one of the, the tools, the self-coaching model that I've talked about on this podcast before, where our circumstances are what. Trigger our thoughts. Our thoughts are what create our feelings.
Our feelings or what drive our actions and our actions or what create our results. And to show you how I work the pause in there with my clients from that feeling line to the action line. Because we might not always be able to pause in our thoughts about things and then we might really [00:46:00] feel negative feelings, but we can, we wanna learn how to fit the pause in between how we feel and what.
What actions come from those feelings? And that again, too in depth for this episode, but it's something that you would definitely learn and get access to and get my help with inside my coaching program. So if this sounds like something you'd be interested in, then please sign up for a call with me.
We don't even necessarily, we just, again, get to know you, get to know your life if it's particular about where you don't pause very well or what it would be look like to work with me and for you to be, become more skilled in, in practicing the pause. And I'd love to meet with you and talk with you.
All right, as we wrap up today's episode, finally, oh boy, this is a really long one. Maybe my other expert ones will be long. Maybe you all will like it. The length. But I wanna [00:47:00] leave you with this thought, right? Peace isn't something that happens to you when your circumstances align perfectly. 'cause that's really just not how it works on this human experience.
But peace is a practice. It's a choice. We make moment by moment, pause by pause, and you can get better at something through. Practice and repetitive choices. So when you learn to create that space between something that circumstance that comes into your life and the response we have to it we really reclaim your power to choose who you wanna be in each moment.
Like I mentioned before, this is the heart of the Cyclone Mom method and everything I teach, helping you move from being swept away by life to standing firmly in your power, your God-given power, and it all begins with a pause. So this week I invite you, [00:48:00] experiment with this practice. Choose one or two moments from the examples we discussed today and commit to pausing.
Notice what shifts for you. And remember, I'm always here cheering you on every step of the way. And next week we'll continue on our expert series with a sleep consultant who will share practical strategies for helping your whole family get better rest. And until then, remember to pause, breathe, and trust that you are exactly the mom your children need.
Thank you all for listening to the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe, leave a review. It helps other moms find this message of peace and intention. And be sure to visit the show notes for more resources and coaching opportunities ways to connect with me.
Alright everyone. I love you all. Until next time, peace be with [00:49:00] you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy To Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course. Divine Time. To find out which [00:50:00] path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method:How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book.
You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
