Episode 284
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 284 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started. Hi everyone. Thanks so much for joining me for another episode. I'm so glad you're here. And before we dive in, I want to just ask you and give you a few reminders. I want you to remember the time before you found this podcast or found this help.
Do you have a friend [00:01:00] or an acquaintance or somebody on the end of your email list or on your social media where you think they also might benefit from all of the episodes that are on the Peaceful Mind Podcast? If so, could I just urge you to share? I always want to take a moment to think about that mom out there who is suffering with one of the many challenges that I already have addressed here.
And I need the help to be able to get the word out so that I can carry out this mission of being a channel of peace for my faith-filled moms out there. I want to thank you in advance and just again, I. Think about somebody out there who needs to be relieved from some shame. She feels, or maybe she had a yelling episode and is feeling super guilty about it or just needs a reminder of how to gain [00:02:00] more peace of mind and less stress and overwhelm in her life.
So that is the first kind of nudge I wanna offer you today. And the second one is, I know. There are some longtime listeners out there who have heard my call again and again to come to a free call with me. And if you're someone who has been on the fence on the edge, maybe been leery of, what might that entail? I wanna just ask you to first pray about it. And second, muster up some courage because every single one of my clients who are now reaping the benefits of more balance, more joy, less overwhelm, less anxiousness about their lives, they are creating their goals, getting results [00:03:00] learned, and they're equipped with an education of tools and strategies.
They have their mom toolbox filled up. They were in your shoes too. They could not benefit the way they are. If they just were listeners they needed to take action and to show up on my calendar. It's the only way I can help you. There is no further obligation by beyond this call, but it is the only way to get inside.
All of the program offerings I have and the one-on-one help. So I just wanted to give encouragement for those to at least explore it, give yourself that opportunity and chance. Alright, so today we are going to be talking about how to have a lighthearted view of trouble, because that's one thing we can count on everyone, is that in this world there will be trouble.[00:04:00]
I was talking to a friend recently and she said something that really stuck with me. And of course some, my brain is always scanning for things that could be an episode of the podcast, things that don't give people peace, and then I look for how to help solve them. And that's what this episode, she said that's what this episode is for today.
She said, I feel like I'm taking everything so serious and I've lost my ability to laugh. All right. Can anybody else relate to that? I know I can. As moms, as women, as humans living in this world, it's so easy to get weighed down by the constant stream of challenges, disruptions, distractions, unexpected curve balls that life throws our way.
But today I'm gonna be talking about something that I. Can be absolutely life changing, and that is learning to have more of a lighthearted view of trouble. Not [00:05:00] because we're minimizing real problems or pretending everything is fine and hunky dory when it's not, but because there's a perspective shift that can help us navigate the difficulties with more peace of mind.
And yes, more laughter. So first, let's talk about what I mean by lighthearted, because I think this gets misunderstood. Sometimes being lighthearted about troubles doesn't mean pretending that problems don't exist in the first place. It doesn't mean laughing inappropriately at serious situations. It doesn't mean being flippant about real pain or injustice, and it doesn't mean avoiding responsibility or just hoping our problems will go away.
But what being lighthearted does mean is holding our troubles lightly instead of gripping them tightly. It means maintaining a [00:06:00] perspective about what's truly important, what matters the most. Being lighthearted means finding humor in life's absurdities when it's an appropriate time to do and being lighthearted means trusting that most problems are temporary and solvable.
And being lighthearted means remembering that our identity and worth aren't determined by our current circumstances. Think of it this way. Imagine you're holding a helium balloon. I say this because a few weeks ago I had a party for my nephew and I literally they, it started to go anyway, but I literally took the scissors to the number balloons and all the helium kind of came out.
But if you grip it tightly if you grip it, 'cause you don't want it to go away, you don't want it to blow away the helium balloon. You're, first of all, you'll get white knuckles about it. Like when you're worried it's float away, but your [00:07:00] hand could cramp up and you're not gonna be enjoying the balloon at all.
It'll just be the pain of your cramped up hand. But if you hold onto it lightly, like with a more of an open hand, you can then keep enjoying it, right? While maybe, while it's gently moving in the breeze and you don't have the pain in your hand. And that's what I'm talking about with our troubles.
There's actually some beautiful research that backs this up being pro more lightheartedness in your life. Studies show that when we can find appropriate humor in difficult situations, our stress hormones decrease. Our immune system gets stronger, and our problem solving abilities actually improve. And when we're not consumed by the weight of our troubles, we literally think more clearly.
I remember reading [00:08:00] about a study where they had people solve puzzles like right after watching like either a comedy clip or some kind of video. And the comedy group solved significantly more puzzles correctly. Why? Because lightness creates mental space for creativity and solutions to bubble up. So how do we all actually cultivate more lighthearted views of our life?
Let me share today three strategies that I believe can make a big difference for you. The first strategy, I'm gonna call the story I'll tell later. So what this is when something frustrating happens, you wanna ask yourself, is this going to make a great story someday? Those disasters that become the stories we laugh about years later at family gatherings, I.
The time the [00:09:00] dog ate the birthday cake right before guests arrived or when everyone got food poisoning on the family vacation or that morning when everything could go wrong, did go wrong in that moment. It just, it feels like a, something that's catastrophic, right? But these times, wi like with time these times, they become the stories that bring us together, make us laugh, remind us of our resilience.
If we're in the middle of chaos, can you find at that time, baby in your brain, fast forward to the future and ask yourself, could this be something I'm like gonna tell the story and laugh about one day? Because if so, in that moment, you could make it more lighthearted. All right. The second strategy, I'm gonna call out the zoom out method.
And this is about perspective, like kind of everything that I'm talking about on this podcast is about a perspective, a different perspective, changing our perspective. So this one's no different. So [00:10:00] when you are overwhelmed by a problem, I want you to literally imagine zooming out like a camera. First see yourself like in your house, then your neighborhood, then your city, then your state, then your country, then your continent, then the planet, maybe even all the way to the solar system, right?
I know it sounds silly, but it does work because when you've gained that zoomed out view that if you've gone all the way, the solar system, that cosmic perspective, will your problem matter? Will it matter in a week, a month, a year? Most of the time the answer is no. And that doesn't minimize the problem you're having right now.
It just right sizes it, it puts it into perspective. It helps you remember that you are not your problems, and that this moment is not your whole life. It's just that it's a moment, [00:11:00] it's a blip. It's an event. One of my, one of my clients, if they're listening to this particular episode, I'm sure she'll laugh out loud because BLIP and Events, she'll know that I'm referring to her.
All right. Third strategy. What would I tell my best friend? It's like a filter. I've done a whole podcast on this. I think it's called Best Friend versus Bully Brain. But what it's asking you to do? It's showing you, first of all, that we are all our own harshest critics. When trouble hits, we tell ourselves stories about how we should have prevented it, how we're failing, how everything's falling apart, falling.
But if your best friend came to you with the exact same problem, what would you say to her? You'd probably be gentle. You'd most likely be encouraging, maybe even find some humor in this [00:12:00] situation. You would be looking to put a, like a funny spin on it and, but you would be doing this to help her feel better.
You'd remind her of her strength and how she's come through victories before in her past, and you'd remind her of her ability to handle whatever comes her way. You'd say, Hey, I'm here for you. I want you to try being that friend to yourself. This is one way how to make your life more lighthearted as soon as possible.
Get into that best friend to yourself mode. Now I want to be really clear about something. There are times I. Fully, a hundred percent believe. There are times when lightness isn't the right response. We could talk about serious illness, loss of a loved one, job loss relationship breakdowns. These do require us to [00:13:00] feel deeply, to allow and process negative emotions, right to grieve, to move through, to take things seriously for a time or an occasion.
But even in these darker times, there can be moments of lightness. As I say this I think about the episode I did in the past called The Light in the Darkness. We might wanna refer to that one as well. Sometimes we have a funny memory of someone we've lost. The absurdity of all the insurance paperwork maybe we have to go through when we're trying to grieve a lost loved ones.
Maybe the way our toddler still thinks everything is hilarious when your world feels like it's falling apart, lightheartedness. It isn't about denying the pain, it's about not letting it consume every single corner of our [00:14:00] experience that we're having. And here's what I've noticed when we model this lighthearted approach to trouble.
It gives everyone around us permission to breathe a little easier too. Mamas, I talk about this all the time, how you wanna focus on all the things you want to be seeing from other people around you, whether it's calm or connectedness or listening. We wanna model that first. Our kids see that problems don't have to equal panic.
Our friends feel safer bringing our struggles to us because they know we won't.
There's something so beautiful about being the person who can find a smile in the storm who can help others remember that this too shall pass. Who creates space for both the difficulty and the lightness to coexist? It's exactly what I do in all of my coaching sessions, right? I point out the [00:15:00] positive that you're not seeing.
I remind you that this world will have trouble, that nothing has gone wrong, that not resisting this negativity is actually more helpful to serve your life. I definitely create space for both the light and the dark to be there. Alright, my beautiful mamas, I wanna leave you with this. You are stronger than your troubles, bigger than your problems, and more resilient than you know the difficulties that you're facing today.
Whether they're big or small, don't define you. You have my permission today to hold them more lightly than you have been. You have permission to find moments of joy, even in the hard times, permission to laugh at life's like craziness, and to trust that you can handle whatever comes your way. Tell yourself I will figure it out.
And this week [00:16:00] I wanna challenge you all. I want you to try just one, one of the strategies. Maybe it's the zoom out method when you're stuck in traffic, maybe the story I'll tell later technique when your morning goes sideways and see what happens. See what happens when you choose lightness over heaviness, curiosity over catastrophe.
Peace over pressure. All right everyone. I hope this will help add some lightheartedness to your life, or at least help you go finding where you can add it to your life and just maybe be more purposeful and determined the next time the heavy and the pressure comes that you are going to have a lighthearted view of this trouble.
All right, everyone. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. Remember, I love you all. I thank you so much for being [00:17:00] here. Share it with somebody. Definitely read the show notes for all that is available to you with other resources that I have, and I'll talk to you again next week. All right.
Until then, may peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools.
To create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study [00:18:00] course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course Divine Time.
To find out which path is right for you let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram at Danielle Thienel Coaching.
And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call On Your God-Given Power To Remain Calm, In Control and Confident as a Busy Mom.
Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you [00:19:00] always.
