Episode 295 Transcript
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 295 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom. You are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello everyone. I'm so delighted that you have decided to join me today because I'm really excited for this message. Everyone who comes to me in seeking, if they want to have a coach [00:01:00] help them to get to their goals. I know that having the kind of joy, despite the chaos of what's going on in their life is something that they want.
Peace, joy, balance this is what I offer is so available to you no matter what stage of motherhood you're in, no matter what the circumstances are in your life. And that also goes for calm, in control, confident and I have received from the last few episodes, I have received such sweet messages from some of you listeners about how it has helped.
I just want to start out with this podcast by saying thank you for those. And also just a reminder to everyone out there that enjoys the Peaceful Mind Podcast to just share it [00:02:00] every day. I know there are other moms, just like you, just like me, who are really suffering, especially internally, right?
With their self worth, with their self love just more leaning towards the negative side than not good enough, and all of us could use more peace and more joy in this life. Because it's already hard enough, right? It's already troubled. So I hope that today's episode can help you remind you that joy is available to you.
No matter what, we won't always want to choose it because of what life throws us, but I just want you to know that it [00:03:00] is always there and it's available. So I just want to take you in your mind to an example. Let's just say it's a Tuesday afternoon. Let's say your toddler just. I don't know, colored on the wall with a permanent marker.
Right? And then let's say you have a kindergartner and they're having a meltdown because maybe your sandwich, the sandwich was cut into squares instead of triangles. You could have a baby crying. You just realized you forgot to thaw the dinner that you had planned, right? Maybe you have, an older child and they came home and you found out that test that they worked really hard for.
That they, didn't get the grade they wanted. I don't know. I'm just trying to, you think of where you are in your motherhood. Maybe I hit a couple of them, but maybe like me, your children are older and it's like a different kind of problem. This is what I want [00:04:00] to call quote, everyday chaos.
Those moments when real life, the one you are living right now, it feels anything but Instagram worthy. And if you're like most mamas, you might be thinking joy like in this chaos, Danielle this is what you're trying to have me find? But I want you to see that joy it's not found in the absence of chaos, because I know that is what most of you, because this was me thinking I just wanted the chaos to go away.
I just wanted it to be gone and not come back. But as my cyclone mom method tries to demonstrate visually. I want you to know that joy is found right in the middle of the chaos in the [00:05:00] center where there isn't things flying around, right? What if the very moments that feel the most overwhelming to you could become the moments where now you.
See how joy shows up the most powerfully. So all that to say in what I'm sharing today, I want you to feel empowered to know how to create joy in your everyday chaos. And not by changing your circumstances, but by changing how you see them, how you define chaos, how you, might be now thinking that chaos is a bad thing and again, like we wanna eradicate it, but I don't want you to do that.
Okay? I want you to first redefine what joy is for you, [00:06:00] right? Because I think we've got it confused. We get it confused with happiness. I know that I probably use them interchangeably too, but let's see how there is a difference, right? I think most of us see happiness as depending on happenings, like when things go well, we'll feel happy.
When they don't, the happiness disappears. But joy is a term that I want you to see. Now it's a little bit deeper than our circumstances. So joy, is that settled Confidence. Like the one that comes along when we call on our faith and we realize that God is so good and he we're so loved, like no matter what.
And that it, that actually conjures up this deep joy, [00:07:00] not that happiness comes from having like your perfectly circumstances lined up in your life. But it's available to you in, from your mind to go to some of those core, core beliefs and values that you have that are withstanding no matter what happens.
So St. Paul wrote in Second Corinthians about being sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. So what I think he meant by this is he, this isn't about pretending that everything is fine when it's not, but it is about finding that thread, that weaves itself, and we could even go to God's goodness, right? That it runs through even our hardest moments.
That is tapping into the joy, [00:08:00] even if your life feels chaotic. Again, I don't want you to think that I'm offering you that. It's about denying like the difficult or pretending everything is good all the time, but it is about training your eyes, right? To see what it is about your life from your belief system that does bring you this sense of joy.
When you know, it's like even just seeing like God's gifts that you have that come wrapped in unexpected ways, unexpected packages, and you can still be having in the midst of all you are with your motherhood, right? Running around to practice here, getting to the groceries, getting everybody to mass.
But there is still. [00:09:00] A way to only see the chaos in that this isn't good, this is hard, this is, happens all the time. When can I get a place to a place where this isn't chaotic instead of noticing. That despite all of these activities and expectations and things you'd like to get checked off your to-do list, and people asking you to do this and that that there is a joy.
About existing, about the things that you have in your life about just living life in general, being alive, there is a joy to be found in that chaos. So here's something beautiful I want you to understand. There are really no ordinary moments in your [00:10:00] motherhood. Every diaper change. Every bedtime story, every referee session between siblings, right?
Every drive to gymnastics, every meal you make every load of laundry, right? It's sacred work Every time you listen to your child. And yes, even when we reprimand rep reprimand our kids, we're doing sacred work. You are partnering with God in shaping souls. You are being used by him to show your children what love looks like in action.
Now, don't hear this from me and then say, yeah, I wasn't really loving to them this morning As right as I wasn't my best self as we tried to get out the door, but. Again, what I offer you here is to bring you ways [00:11:00] to make it, help you feel better, not to use it against you, and to show you how you're not doing those things right.
When you see your daily chaos through this lens of there is still an internal joy about this life. To tap into. Then everything does change. It gets a little lighter, more hopeful, more just settled in like that. Nothing's gone wrong here. When and when we do have the chaos like that tantrum in the grocery store, it becomes an opportunity for you to model patience.
The sleepless night becomes a chance for you to practice sacrificial love. The millionth time you pick up the same toys becomes an act of service that teaches your children about care and order. And when you look at those chaotic things in this way, it [00:12:00] creates joy in your body. Saint Teresa of Les Sue called this the little way.
Where you find God and I wanna say, find joy in the small, ordinary moments rather than waiting for some like grand experience, right? Your kitchen can become your chapel, your daily chaos, maybe your classroom, your ordinary moments are extraordinary opportunities for us to love like Jesus does. So now let me offer you some practical ways to put this into practice for yourself.
Let's begin creating joy right in the middle of our everyday chaos. And let's stop focusing on trying to make the chaos go away altogether, or to [00:13:00] delay your joy until. The chaos has stopped. That too won't serve you because we're always gonna have a little bit of chaos going on in our life.
So the first key kind of tip I wanna give you is just what I call grateful interruption. When chaos hits 'cause it will, can we interrupt our natural response? With gratitude instead of immediately going to frustration to overwhelm, can we pause and ask ourselves, what can I be grateful for in this exact moment?
Maybe you're grateful that your children feel safe enough to express their emotions with you. If they are having a hard time, maybe you're grateful for the mess that you have. In your home because maybe it means your family then is actively living in your home, right? Like we don't live in museums or [00:14:00] store showrooms, right?
Maybe you're grateful for your strong coffee in the morning. That this too shall pass whatever's happening while you are trying to enjoy your coffee. Again, I wanna always remind you what I have to offer here. It's never about toxic positivity, pretending these problems that we have don't exist. It is literally about training your brain to look for the gifts even in difficult moments.
Because what you focus on grows. I know you've heard that before. And when you practice looking for things to be grateful for, you will start seeing them more and more. You'll start seeing them everywhere, and you'll see them more than you're fixated on the awful chaos, chaotic thing that's going on. Okay, so the next practical [00:15:00] tool step.
Tip that I wanna give you to be able to find and feel joy, even if there's chaos going on that everyday chaos, and that is to learn to find things funny. So many of you need to hear this one today. Motherhood is simultaneously the most important work you'll ever do, and it's absolutely hilarious if you step back and look at it objectively.
Like we are all, we're being art outsmarted by people who can't even tie their own shoes. We like negotiate with these tiny humans who think goldfish crackers are their own food group. We have deep conversations about. How, why we can't lick the dog. And when you find the humor in the chaos, [00:16:00] everything shifts.
Laughter releases endorphins, it reduces stress hormones. It reminds us not to take everything so seriously. I like, don't, aren't there other moms? And maybe you are one already listening and saying, yeah, I am good at that, but I know I wasn't. I definitely took everything so seriously and there was these more laid back moms who seemed lighter.
And again, like the ones who you see that might be laughing all the times or not letting the things bother them, right? And your children need to see you laugh at life's absurdities. Okay. It teaches them resilience. It helps them develop like a healthy perspective on problems. It's like how can you find it humorous that something that right now you think [00:17:00] should stop or isn't good, or is just too stressful, right?
Can you start to collect funny things like your kids say and do. When you're in the thick of a chaotic moment, remember that this too could become a story y'all laugh at later, but why not laugh about it now, right? If we're late and we're in traffic and there's a traffic jam and there's nothing you can do, there's out of your control to make the cars in front of you, go faster or for wherever you're going to come sooner.
What could you look around and find funny about it? I'm just so happy to offer that one today. 'cause I really want you to just think about that one some more. It's gonna help so much to bring more joy to your life. Okay. The next way that you could create joy in your life, despite the chaos, is to create [00:18:00] what I'm gonna call micro moments of beauty.
Throughout your chaotic days, we know that when we see something beautiful, it feeds our soul, and I'm not offering big things or elaborate things. These can be these little tiny touches that bring you joy, like lighting a candle. I started to do this. I love the scent of a certain candle. And when you have it on, I put it on the kitchen island or on the table where I fold laundry.
You, when you make dinner, could you have a worship music on, right? Or could you just take time to notice? I did this morning? When I woke up, went to the bathroom, I was drawn over to the window and I just stopped the clouds. It was the kind that looked just like puffy cotton balls and there was this pretty [00:19:00] bluish purple hue and I stopped and I admired.
I just find these little micro moments of beauty, right? So again. You're not being frivolous when you add beauty to your chaos, right? Maybe buy yourself flowers at the grocery store. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful, even if you're just staying home. Micro moments of noticing beauty.
Okay, just a couple more. This one, I've definitely weaved throughout. If you want more peace in your life, and that is to choose being present over your outcomes or your performance. So much of our chaos comes from trying to perform our motherhood duties, right? Instead of simply being present [00:20:00] for it. It's really about that, getting all those things done.
Or we definitely think we have to be perfect about the way we handled things, like whether it was a tantrum that day or the activities that we have to get to in the afternoon. It's even when, like the perf when it comes to meals thinking that they have to be the most nutritious meals for every dinner, right?
That is the example of when you're really focused on the performance on it. Not to say that we don't wanna do these things, but we just don't need that perfection in our daily to-dos. But if we can increase our presence about it, right? Showing up authentically, taking time to really listen, hear, look in the eyes, right?
I just want you to know [00:21:00] like what you all know, we're modeling these things for our kids and they need to see us handle some chaotic moments with a little bit more grace. Maybe a few more apologies when we mess up. Maybe a few more stops to take deep breaths. This is what they will see from us that will also ground us more in the present moment.
You can actually enjoy the chaos instead of just surviving through it each day when you focus on being present rather than performing perfectly. And of course, I want you to laugh at the absurdity. I really want you to marvel more in your children or even just. This life that you're leading.
Definitely appreciate the unpredictability that comes with family life again, instead of the [00:22:00] old cliche of just trying to survive it. All right. Okay. The last. Kind of tip, I'm going to help remind you so that you can create joy, even in everyday chaos, is to remember your why. So this is a mental shift.
This is a mindset, okay? In the middle of chaos, it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Like why did you want children in the first place? What did you hope to give them? What kind of family are you building together? Your why isn't just about having like our children behave right, or a spotless house.
Your why is about love. It's about raising children who know they're valued about creating a home where people feel safe to be themselves about partnering with God in this incredible work of shaping hearts and souls, [00:23:00] and when you remember your why. Again, the chaos doesn't disappear. This isn't what I want you to focus on, but it does become a little bit more meaningful.
It's not just a mess and noise and endless needs by others. It's just all woven as a beautiful, chaotic work of love. Could we start to see our family life or where we are and our motherhood? Is that, and start talking about it that way, yep. It's a beautiful, chaotic work of love, feel free to write that down, borrow it, and start saying that instead of saying, oh my goodness, my life is, oh, it's so chaotic.
It's so busy all the time. Okay. All right. So just as a little recap, right? We want to practice a grateful interruption. We wanna find the funny. In things. We wanna create micro [00:24:00] moments of beauty. We wanna practice presence over performance, and we wanna remember our wise, and this is how we create joy in every day chaos.
I just wanna extend an invitation right to joy. Not joy that depends on having your life together or your children perfectly behaved, or your house Again, Instagram ready, joy that exists right now, right in the middle of whatever chaos that surrounds you. You don't have to wait for a perfect season to experience joy.
You don't have to wait to earn it or create the right conditions for it. It's available to you now. Because you are God's beloved daughter. Because you're doing sacred work. Because every ordinary moment is actually extraordinary when you see it through the [00:25:00] lens of what I've offered here today. So I challenge you to implement just even one of these tips that I gave you to create joy and chaos, right?
Maybe you'll start hunting for daily moments of joy. I love it. Maybe you'll practice grateful interruption when things get overwhelming. Maybe I really do hope for this one. Maybe you'll look for the funny in your children's antics instead of getting frustrated. But whatever you choose, remember that small steps, take with love, create lasting change, okay?
Just choose joy in the next moment. Then the next one, and then the next one. Thank you so much for being a listener of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. I love you all. I so appreciate you coming each week and listening. And again, please share [00:26:00] it. Please partner with me in this mission to bring more peace of mind to more moms.
Again, I love you all. I will see you again next week, and until then ,may peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, [00:27:00] prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women, or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method: How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethinel.com/new-book.
You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you [00:28:00] always.
