Episode 296 Transcript
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 296 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello. Hello. Welcome everyone. How are you all? Beautiful mamas. I'm doing great now. I always record these episodes, weeks. In advance, but I was [00:01:00] looking at the date that this one is gonna be released and it's actually my birthday, so I'm gonna send out a happy birthday to me. The subject today, we're gonna talk about money and in particular we're gonna talk about debt.
And I have done so much work on this subject. And it has been such a gift, and with that theme of birthday, I hope that this episode will be a gift to your life, especially to those of you out there who have always felt really fearful, panicked, burdened, just overwhelmed by debt. If you currently have it now, I hope that this episode today brings you some peace of mind.
So I also want to say that one of the [00:02:00] reasons why I chose this subject is because I am just coming off of a speaking engagement where this was the topic that I was asked to speak on. So before we get started, I wanna give a special shout out to the wonderful women at the Cathedral of Christ, The King in Superior, Wisconsin.
Because again, that I make these, or build these episodes and record them, weeks in advance, it, by the time you listen to this, it will have been just over a month since I visited them. But it's fresh in my mind now, and I really do feel like this part of the retreat that I gave is just needed for so many of you to hear.
So I decided to do just an episode on this part of finances, right? Okay. I [00:03:00] have already created a course called Faith Focused Finances, and you can hear me speak to that on an earlier episode. So go ahead and scroll through till you find the Faith Focused Finances one, and then also don't forget to stop where I mention the my new, my latest book, Divine Abundance: Unlocking God's Prosperity Through Faith-Focused Finances. It's literally, the course that I originally built now transferred, it is transferred into book form and I go into even, some greater detail in the book, and both the self-study course and the book are amazing if you are wanting to learn how to bring God into your relationship with money, bring faith and faith principles into helping you build your prosperity.
And so again, just offering that and. [00:04:00] Just circling back around to me going to speak this past weekend, if that is something that, it intrigues you. If you are part of a church, a moms group, an organization that would love to have me come speak at your event or retreat or next, church or moms group meeting, I'd love to hear from you.
You just reach out to me about speaking at daniellethienel.com and I'll be sure to include those that you know, the spelling and everything in the show notes, along with the links to find out how you can purchase the finances course at a discount and also a link to be able to buy a paperback copy of Divine Abundance.
Okay, now let's get into it. Let's start talking about something that weighs heavy on so many of your hearts, and that is debt. [00:05:00] I know many of you don't have peace around this subject, and sometimes even just hearing the word might make your stomach clench a little bit. Maybe you're thinking about your credit card right now when I say it, maybe the balance, perhaps it's student loans, the mortgage, maybe even debt from an unexpected medical bill.
Maybe from life circumstances that were completely out of your control at the time. But then also ones that you know, that you were aware, whether it's like credit card purchase, like you knew what you were doing. Or liked your reason why, but now you have this after shame about it or something around there.
Again, I want to transform your relationship with debt. I want you to feel better about the subject, the circumstance of debt. And I'm not necessarily gonna offer ways to pay it off faster, [00:06:00] though that may be important. Two, depending on what's going on with your particular circumstances, but again, how to feel better about debt while you're working through it.
Because here's the truth, mama, your debt does not define you, and you don't have to carry the emotional weight of shame and anxiety while you're managing it and feeling better about any of our subjects. Relationships, our emotional wellbeing, time management, right? Our career, our businesses, feeling better is where we want to get ourselves about any and all subjects because it's from this better feeling place that you can better problem solve, that you can better have clarity, that you can make decisions from.
Or feeling better helps us [00:07:00] have be lighter about things, helps us more enjoy things and leads us to more peace. Peace of mind. Okay, so this is where I want you to start. In order to feel better about debt, it's really essential to separate the facts about your debt from the stories you're telling yourself about your debt.
The fact is debt is simply a number. It's an amount owed, whether it's to a bank on a credit card or to a family member, that's it. It's just a number. But, oh, the stories we tell ourselves about that particular number we tell ourselves, it means we're failures, that we're bad with money, that we're letting our families down, that we'll never get ahead, that God.
Who knows, must be disappointed in us. These stories create so much pain. [00:08:00] Then the actual debt itself, again, the stories we choose and we were given a God given ability gift, a God-given gift to think and believe anything we want about anything. And when we choose stories. That create pain about certain subjects.
In this instance, debt we create, we add on unnecessary suffering and take ourselves out of a place of empowerment. But when we strip away all the emotions and judgments, debt is simply a financial tool. One that we can be used wisely or unwisely. Just like a hammer, right? A hammer can be used to build [00:09:00] things, hammer nails, which is an essential part of building something.
Or we can take and use the hammer to tear something down. And it is the same thing with debt. It debt itself is neutral. And it is our relationship with it that determines whether it will serve us or whether it's gonna create stress in our lives. So if you are somebody where debt is creating stress, we don't have a great relationship with debt.
But what if we approached our debts with curiosity instead of fear? What if we saw managing our debt as a challenge to tackle with wisdom rather than something to be ashamed of this shift? Like all things here is in mindset, and when we do that, [00:10:00] it can completely transform how we handle our financial obligations.
Now, not all debt is created equal. This is my belief, and we can borrow it if you want. And I didn't do this disclaimer at the beginning of this episode, which I should, so I'm gonna add it here, is to know that I am not a financial advisor, right? I'm not a debt consolidation firm, right? I am somebody who has transformed their relationship with debt in a way that has.
Married and brought God and God's ways into it, and now have moved away from the fear and the burdensome of it into a way where I'm actually, I see it as neutral and I use it in a positive way to support me, and I'm here to [00:11:00] share that. You too can feel so much better about. Your financial situation in regards to debt?
In my book, divine Abundance, unlocking God's Prosperity Through Faith Focused Finances, I talk about the difference between constructive and deconstructive Debt. And constructive debt is an investment in your future that can lead to long-term wealth. It includes things like. A reasonable mortgage for a home that fits your budget.
Student loans for education that enhances your earning potential or even strategic business investments. And when managed responsibly, these can actually be powerful tools for building prosperity. And I've personally prospered from investments I made using borrowed money Strategically.
This was constructive debt and it created opportunity not burden. [00:12:00] Now, destructive debt on the other hand over time can diminish your financial wellbeing. It includes high interest consumer debt for items that may lose their value quickly. Credit card balances carried month to month for everyday expenses or loans for like luxury items that maybe you can't otherwise afford.
But still in these situations that I'm offering where you're hearing it and you might be like plugging in what you think you are, I literally see both of those as neutral. And when I say that, what I mean is that there's just the facts, like if you have a credit card and it's high interest, or it's what we would call consumer debt, that still is, it's not good.
It's not bad, it's not positive or negative, it's just whatever the interest rate is, that's what it is. [00:13:00] Whatever type of debt it is, that's what it is. And this is what I wanna move you closer to. What I want you to understand is that if you have constructive debt, you can actually feel good about it.
And if you have destructive debt, as I've called here, you also wanna work to feel better about it, right? It is in your hands. You've made a strategic decision. To invest in your peace by being here today and whether you have what I'm calling here, the destructive debt, right? That doesn't make you a bad person, right?
It makes you human. So let me address something that causes so much unnecessary guilt for us. Faithful women, [00:14:00] right? What does God think about your debt? Many of us carry this burden that somehow having debt means we lack faith or that we've done wrong, gone against, God's ways. But the truth is the Bible doesn't forbid borrowing money.
Yes, it urges caution, and yes, it's clear about our moral obligation to repay it what we owe. Debt itself is not a sin, and having debt doesn't mean that you lack faith. What's beautiful is that scripture actually shows God's heart for those who are burdened by debt. In the Old Testament, there were provisions for debt, forgiveness, and fresh starts.
And this reveals God's compassion for those struggling with financial burdens. Your debt doesn't separate you from God's love. Your worth [00:15:00] as his daughter is not determined by your credit score. God sees your heart, your efforts, your love for your family, and your desire to do things differently if that's what you want going forward.
He's not standing over you with a financial report card. He's actually beside you ready to give you wisdom and strength for the journey ahead. If paying down the debt is something that is of prioritizing nature for you right now, and I would like to think that. I am in that like team too, because I always ask God to help use my knowledge to help those out there suffering.
And I do believe that I have walked this walk from financial stress to abundance, [00:16:00] and I have everything that I'm asking you to do as far as, coming from the perspective to look at debt differently and to feel better about it. I have done that work and I do wanna offer that. It's much lighter on this side, right?
I'm more, I actually, you can get the debt repaid faster when you don't feel so heavy and burdened about it. The biggest shift that you can make is changing how you talk to yourself about debt. It's that internal dialogue which I'm always focusing on your internal world, what's going on inside of you, in your mind and your heart, right?
And most of us have such a harsh internal dialogue about our financial situations. So much so like we wouldn't speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves about money. So instead of, I'm so stupid for getting [00:17:00] into this debt, I want you to try. I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time, instead of, I'll never get out of this hole.
You could try. I'm learning and growing stronger with my finances every day. And instead of I'm a financial failure, you can try, I'm exactly where I need to be to learn what I need to learn. In my Faith Focused Finances course, which you can find through the link in the show notes. Definitely don't forget to use that code.
20OFF for a discount, and that's the number 20. And then capital OFF. I share 10 transformative thoughts about debt that you can completely change your emotional relationship with money if you use, I'll just share a few of them here, right? This is something else you could be thinking about.
Debt is [00:18:00] a financial situation, not a personal failure. Because your debt does not define your worth or character. It's just simply a financial circumstance that can be changed with time and focused effort. It's figureoutable. Another thought that I would offer that can be helpful for you to feel better about debt is every payment I make is a step forward towards financial freedom.
So rather than seeing debt payments as money lost, view them as investments in your future freedom. That future version of you is gonna be so happy that you're taking the steps that you are right now. Managing debt wisely is a skill I am capable of mastering. Like anything. We have to build the skill.
If we're not good at [00:19:00] thinking about debt in a way that makes us feel good, if we are, like, if we personified our debt and we really saw that our relationship with it is really combative and negative and disconnected, right? It is a skill to be able. To practice the things that I offer you here on the podcast, in my book, in the course it's a skill for you to get better at feeling better about your debt and bottom line, I want you to feel better because when you feel better, you will either attack the debt or come up with a plan or just move forward.
Progressing around the subject when you feel better. And then an example of another thought to have is my faith provides strength and guidance in every financial decision I make. God's wisdom is [00:20:00] available. I also have curated scriptures in PDFs to print out and use that, come in the course, and then there the scripture is curated and laid out in the Divine Abundance Book and God's wisdom.
It is there. It can guide you, it, it gives you management strategy, and for sure you can tap into it if you seek it through prayer. All right, now let's talk about this shame and anxiety I mentioned earlier. Okay. So many women, especially, again, those of us as strong faith values, we experience a deep shame and anxiety about debt.
These emotions are common. They're a thread, they're woven through, and they're also paralyzing and counterproductive to actually improving your financial situation. First, we have to recognize the difference [00:21:00] between a conviction a commitment and condemnation. So an example would be conviction is the Holy Spirit.
It's like it, the Holy Spirit, like gently nudging you that will then lead you to a positive change. It feels hopeful and motivating, and this is where I want you to be about your debt. Now condemnation on the other hand that you will know that you are there when it, there's heaviness when you feel like your spirit's just being crushed, right?
When you feel hopeless about debt, God's spirit brings conviction to guide you towards better choices. And if you are in condemnation, it is not from God and you want. The way you handle your money and finances and debt to come [00:22:00] from God. So if you're feeling overwhelming, shame about your debt. That's not coming from God.
He offers grace and a way forward, not guilt. And second, I want you to separate your identity from your financial circumstances. Your debt is just something you have. It's not something you are, your identity is rooted in being a child of God. I've said that many times on the podcast, and it's not in your bank account.
That's not where your identity is rooted in. And when we confuse those, when we confuse our financial situation with our worth, we give finances and money, power, it was never meant to have in our lives. So I want you to practice financial self-compassion. I'm usually telling you the [00:23:00] way to, to solve some of these issues or get more peace around is to have self-compassion.
And so it's no different here. Financial self-compassion, right? If your best friend came to you feeling overwhelmed by debt, would you berate her and tell her how irresponsible she was? Of course not. You'd offer compassion, encouragement, practical help. You would extend that same grace. I'm asking you to extend that same grace to yourself.
Okay? Freedom. This is what you want when you have debt. If you don't feel good about debt right now, if you don't have a good relationship with debt. If you have labeled and have believed. For the majority of your life that debt is bad. You are wanting to feel better, and freedom does feel better. And I want to remind you [00:24:00] today that freedom comes from changing your mindset.
Because here's what's happened. When you shift your mindset about debt, you have this new kind of freedom. It's not just. The eventual financial freedom that comes when you reduce your debt, but it's an immediate emotional and spiritual freedom, a mental freedom that comes from facing your situation, like heading with to the facts and the numbers.
I like to say you're looking at the math of things, not the drama. And we do this with honesty and courage, right? Releasing that shame, embracing God's grace. And I love how this freedom will show up for you in unexpected ways. You're gonna get better sleep, improve relationships, greater peace of mind, and a renewed sense of joy for the future.[00:25:00]
When you stop carrying around the emotional weight of debt, you have so much more energy to actually address the practical aspects of your finances. And you might find that you sleep better at night because you're not lying awake, catastrophizing about your financial future. You might find that you and your husband can actually talk about money without it turning into a fight because you're approaching it from peace instead of panic.
All right? Let me give you some practical things you can do right now to start feeling better about your debt. I want you to write down exactly what you owe. But approach it as information gathered, not like self torture. You're just turning on the light to see what's really there. You're just getting clarity without judgment.
That last part is key without judgment or just facing the [00:26:00] math. And then I want you to practice gratitude. Gratitude for what this debt has provided. Maybe that student loan gave you the education that led to your career. Maybe that mortgage gives your family a home to make memories in, find something to be grateful for, even in the debt you have.
And then I want you to focus on what you can control. You cannot change past financial decisions. You cannot get into a time machine and go back and not buy the thing. You do have complete control over your choices going forward, and I want you to channel your energy into future possibilities, not past regrets.
Celebrate the small wins along the way. Every payment you make, every dollar you save. Every new, wise financial choice it's worth celebrating. [00:27:00] Progress is progress no matter how small. And remember your why, like why do you wanna improve your financial situation? Why do you wanna provide security for your family to be generous to others, to reduce stress, keep your, whatever your bigger purpose in mind, and then maybe you do seek support.
What? I don't. Only you want to be able to know or only you know your own, financial situation and circumstances around it. And there are people who are out there who understand where you are. They have solved it for themselves, so don't hesitate to seek support. You could talk to a trusted friend.
You could meet a financial advisor or counselor. You could join a financial [00:28:00] program. Sometimes many churches offer financial courses, and also I'm offering you my perspective in my Faith Focused Finance course or book. Start there. If you've listened to this today and it resonates, that is a beautiful start.
It's not a sign of failure to ask for help. It's a sign of wisdom and commitment and things start aligning for you when you decide to focus in on something. I want you to hear this all you beautiful mamas out there, especially the ones who have struggled with debt, your debt does not disqualify you right from financial peace or from a prosperous life.
It's simply part of your story right now. It's not the end of the story, and I don't want you to delay your [00:29:00] joy or happiness or living your life right now until one time in the future when your debt doesn't exist. Yeah, we're not waiting, okay? But right now, you do have everything you need to transform your relationship with debt.
You have God's wisdom available to you through prayer. You have the strength to make wise choices going forward. You have the ability, if you have a phone in your hand, right? You're listening to this podcast, right? I've offered you some things to try and some resources to tap into. You have the ability to learn and grow stronger financially.
And your debt might be a fact in your life right now, but it doesn't have to be a source of shame or anxiety. You can choose to see it as a temporary challenge that you are working through with wisdom and grace. And again, even where I got to where I was grateful that I was in debt, 'cause [00:30:00] that debt allowed me to be able to buy some things, to invest in some things that turned out to be really great financial decisions. It prospered me even more.
If you wanna dive deeper into transforming your relationship with money and debt, I encourage you to check out my Faith Focus Finance course. Again, you'll find the link in the show notes and you can use the code 20OFF for a discount. And in that course you'll get all 10 of my transformative thoughts about death, plus a lot more practical tools that will help you align your finances with your faith.
But remember, you are not your debt, right? You just happen to have a temporary financial situation, and with God's help, you can handle whatever. Comes your way and that you're facing, and I want you to do it with more wisdom, more [00:31:00] grace more hope, more just a lighter vision of what might be a big burden vision right now about debt.
And you can take some small steps today. You don't have to solve everything today, and I just hope. That you can see that whatever number you have of debt, it is literally just a circumstance. And I want you to empower yourself to tap in and choose something differently. If debt has always made you feel bad, choose to think something differently about the debt you have that makes you feel better, more free, more lighter.
More of it as an opportunity. Just anything to just tick up that feelings so [00:32:00] that you can be less locked and trapped and pressured by it. And when you do, that's when you'll find yourself maybe making a plan, facing it, taking steps and progressing so that you can prove to yourself and see the results that.
You are very capable of paying down the debt. All right, everybody. As always, if you found this helpful or if you know somebody else who this might be helpful with, I'd love for you to rate and review or pass it on to that person. You can always email me as well, [email protected], and I will be happy to hear your thoughts on the podcast.
Or if you need my help in any other way, this is a subject, the subject of money and finances, prosperity that holds a lot of people back. So if you want to get [00:33:00] back into balance around your relationship with money, then please sign up for a free back to balance strategy session. And I would love to meet you personally and to talk you.
To talk to you about it and you can find how to do that either on my website or just find the link in the show notes. Alright everybody, as always, I just thank you so much for being here and until next week, may peace be with you always.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools. To create peace of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area [00:34:00] of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women.
Or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my busy to balance group life coaching program or delve into my signature course. Divine time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching.
And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, in Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and [00:35:00] bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too.
Until next time, peace be with you always.
