Episode 301 Transcript
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 301 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello everyone and welcome back. I'm your host Danielle Thienel, and I'm so glad you're here when this episode airs. It is around the Thanksgiving time. Now, I know that it. Lives on and on. But there are many of you who do listen to my podcasts right when [00:01:00] they come out, and that's just where this idea was born from, that you might be going through this during the holiday season, but please, like always a, this can be applied at any time during the year, but what I wanna talk about today.
Is what I'm calling the keep going fallacy. Okay. So like for instance if we do refer back to the holiday seasons, right now you're probably planning, prepping meals, coordinating family gatherings, and you're trying to keep the peace while keeping everything kind of running smooth and altogether.
And maybe during that time you've told yourself, I just need to keep going. I just need to get through it. Today, I wanna lovingly challenge that idea no matter what season we're in, because sometimes the strongest and most peaceful thing [00:02:00] we can do is to actually not keep going. Not to keep going, it's to pause and I wanna explore what I'm calling the great, the keep going fallacy because.
I think this belief that not giving up is not always the right thing. And we're going to talk about this when it is time that we would wanna keep going with a renewed commitment. And when it really is time to stop, to pause, to reassess and perhaps choose a new path entirely. 'cause I just think that when.
There's something about this, never give up. Just keep going. That hasn't helped us or is not serving all of us. So that's what I wanna explore with us together today. This is the truth. We live in a world that glorifies, [00:03:00] hustle. Stick to it. Have a tenacity about it, especially as moms, right?
We're praised when we push through exhaustion, when we quote, never quit. When we power through the to-do list and we put ourselves last in the name of love and sacrifice, and yes, there is a beauty in commitment and in grit, but here's what is missing, a discernment. And the fallacy says to us, just keep going.
And eventually it'll all work out. But what if the direction that you're heading right now is misaligned? It's misaligned with your wants, your desires, your dreams, who God created you to be. So I was writing my Peloton recently and the instructor said. I don't need to tell you how to keep going. You already know how.
And I [00:04:00] thought to myself, but what if this keep going isn't what I'm supposed to do, right? What if I don't keep going? What does that mean about who I am? What if keeping going is the wrong direction? What if it's not helping me? That's exactly what I was thinking, and I realized. Myself, I had been pushing through without reassessing.
If I'm not was I really gaining traction like I thought I was by going in the direction that I am? And these are the things I want you to ask about yourself. Are you just staying busy for the sake of being busy? Spinning but not arriving anywhere new. And when I talk about the Peloton, like literally spinning, right?
But we, what we want, what we wanna stop and assess is when we're like, the keep going doesn't [00:05:00] serve us anymore. So let's talk about how it might be showing up in your life and not just around this Thanksgiving time, but in your day to day. Maybe you're doing something because it feels easier than starting over, or because you don't wanna disappoint someone.
Or because you've already come this far. And that's what the way of our world says is don't give up, don't quit. That's keep going. That's the right thing. And the good thing to do is to not give up. But here is some real life examples that maybe you'll relate to. What if staying in a side business or job no longer excites you?
Maybe it drains your energy, or it doesn't support your family's needs anymore at this time, yet you keep going because you think, oh, I shouldn't quit. Like quitting is not a good thing. Perhaps you're continuing in a degree or a certification path because you [00:06:00] started it and even though it might no longer align with your long-term vision or calling you just keep going, right?
Without even stopping to reassess. What about trying to make a friendship work? Maybe one that feels one sided or unhealthy, but you hesitate to stop investing your time in them because you've been like friends forever or some other thing that your mind is telling you why you should keep going or that if you don't quit, that's the better thing.
And this is for the, my example of the exercise program that we. That we choose our parenting systems, even any kind of our systems in our household, right? We might be thinking, oh, I'm just going to keep going, make this work. Can't quit on it. [00:07:00] Sometimes even continuing in like a volunteer role or a leadership role, right?
It feels more like an obligation than an offering, but then there's a whole bunch of. I should keep going thoughts around it, but the truth is life. Whenever we accomplish, if we did keep going, and if we did reach the end life will still be 50 50 when you get there. That won't, the accomplishment of if we keep going in something that's misaligned for us, it's you still are going to be a human being in a life where there'll be 50% positive, 50% negative. Your brain will tell you. Once you accomplish that, then now you have to, do the next thing. But if this wasn't something that was aligned with you, if it's something that you wanted to change your mind on, if you were not doing it for the right reasons, if you didn't [00:08:00] keep going earlier and stopped and paused and reassessed.
Right then you might have gotten to peace a little bit more quickly, and then you might got, might be back on a new path that is all more aligned with your true heart's desires. So what I'm offering you today is to, instead of pushing through on the thing you think you need to keep going on. And doing that on autopilot.
I just wanna ask, what if we just paused on it, right? I teach this so often in my coaching program, busy to balance when I'm working with my one-on-one clients, oftentimes, let's pause, let's reflect, let's reevaluate, and then EC decide on purpose with intention. Not this automatic autopilot. This [00:09:00] is just what I've always been doing because when you pause, you then can check in with your body, right?
You can check in with your mind, and you definitely wanna check in with what your soul is saying. Ask yourself, is this bearing fruit for me and my family? I want you to listen. Listen to that whisper. Is this still the right thing for me? Is this still what I'm feeling called to do even right, Jesus before big decisions, right?
He withdrew to pray and we just need this spill, this space for discernment on all of our like life choices. I want to stop the automatic. This is just what I've always done kind of mentality, and really add some more [00:10:00] intention and deliberateness to your life, and that is why I think that it is a fallacy for us to believe that we should always not quit and to keep going.
Okay, so let's make it a little bit more tangible and here are a few questions 'cause I think this is the best way to start evaluating this for yourself. Here are a few questions to ask when you're deciding whether you should keep going or to pivot. Maybe if I were starting this today, like starting over with whatever your choice was today, would I still say yes?
I. Another question is, am I aligned with my values in during whatever it is that you are thinking about? And maybe another way is is this what God is asking of me right now, of my time and my [00:11:00] talent? So the first question, if I were starting this today, would I still say yes? The second question is, am I aligned with my values here and what God is asking of me?
Another really helpful question to help you discern to keep going or to maybe reevaluate and get on a new path is this action rooted in fear, maybe rooted in pride or people pleasing, right? This is a huge one, or is my action rooted in love and clarity, what is this action that you're keeping going on?
What is really at the root? What is that? Is it fear? Is it people pleasing? Okay. The next question that would help you discern if it's something that if you've fallen into the keep going fallacy, is what emotion do I feel when I think about continuing this path? Path? Do you feel peace [00:12:00] or do you feel dread?
And then obviously there's some, in Betweenness there too. But if it's peace, that is gonna be so good to know. And if it's dread, then perhaps you have fallen into the keep going fallacy. And then what would I tell my daughter to do in this same situation? Or even, what do I, what would I tell my son to do in this same situation?
I love this. I've been using this a little bit more lately in my coaching practice. And then there's one client I'm thinking of in particular when this question, because this is something like if you're. If your child was, if they kept, they were going on a path that they came to you and said, I'm dreading this a little bit.
I'm not sure it's aligned to I was I tried it out. Should I keep going? What would you tell [00:13:00] them? And so this is something that you can apply to what you are doing right now. You can even, you can pause and you can journal these. Just don't estimate the clarity that comes from some, a little bit of quiet time and asking of the right questions.
And when you do this right, it's the pausing, it's the reflection, it's the deciding, the evaluating. This is the part that I want to happen. Okay? And here's the beautiful outcome to that, is that once you've paused, maybe once you've prayed, once you've reflected. You might still decide to keep going on whatever it is that, that you were evaluating, but that's awesome, right?
Because it's coming from this new place of purpose, not pressure, or again, the automatic, there's just more intention there. It's like you can own it, that it's deliberately you deciding. And in this case, [00:14:00] you'll move forward, not because you should move forward, but because you became clear that this is where you're meant to be and that is so powerful and it will bring you more peace of mind, or you may feel released from it.
Yeah. You may realize that the most courageous thing is to stop what you've been trying to keep going on. And you'll pivot or even walk away, and that doesn't make you a quitter. No, I think that makes you smart. It makes you faithful, it makes you be someone who's taking control, who's leading your own life.
So I just wanna offer. I just wanna offer to you all that you, some of you out there may [00:15:00] have just never stopped to question this. You should keep going. Philosophy, quitting is bad. Keep pushing through that philosophy. I know some of you want this invitation I'm offering you today to stop spinning.
To pause, to take a breath, to look around, to evaluate is the path I'm on in whatever particular thing that comes to mind for you. Is it bringing you peace or is it time to choose differently? Let's not glorify pushing through when what we really need is to pause, stop. Reevaluate ec decide, recommit, and to relinquish this heavy pressured story that it's a bad thing to stop something or to change our mind.
And in this, I'm not saying that what I'm asking you to do is [00:16:00] easy, but it is definitely worth doing. And in this, I wanna offer that changing paths, changing your mind. Stop reevaluating, getting honest with yourself that what you've been doing, like you don't wanna push through anymore, that you actually don't want this, whatever, path or goal you were after.
It's going to be hard and I just wanna offer, and that's okay. Like for instance, if it was like if you were going down the road on a certain degree. And you decided that you wanted to change your mind, that it wasn't aligned with you. Your brain will offer you all sorts of things oh my gosh, but I've already put all this time and effort and I'm I should see it through, and I just want you to stop and reevaluate and know that yes, it would be hard, but mostly for the short term that when we stop and evaluate and we no longer [00:17:00] believe that.
I should keep going is the right thing for me. We're talking about a long-term gain. There'll be short-term pain to admit it, to change, to stop, to start something new. Maybe your brain's gonna offer you things like it was, wasted time or wasted money and all of that. It's still not a reason to keep going on something that your heart is telling you.
That is not right for you, is not aligned for you. And again, you don't have to go the this alone. So if you are ready to pause and reassess and realign your life with your deepest values of whatever stage of motherhood you're in right now, then this is exactly the kind of work that we could do together.
And so I hope that now you will just, at least every time, either you find yourself saying or somebody else saying, [00:18:00] just keep going, right? Just keep going or don't quit. That you might be like, you know what, I'm actually think that might be a fallacy, and I'm just gonna stop and reevaluate here for a moment and maybe Redecide.
And again, you might red decide, yep, this is the right thing for me. And then. That will be so wonderful to have that reassurance. And then it might be time to be like, okay, I am getting on a new path. And not only is it okay, it's, it'll it could be just the best decision I've ever made for myself.
Alright, everyone, that is what I have for you this week. And I always love to hear your feedback. Please feel free to email me and if you think that there's someone you know who would love to hear this, then please share it with them as well. Thank you so much for being listeners, and I will be back here with another episode next week.
Until then, may [00:19:00] peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools.
To create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women, or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time. [00:20:00] To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book.
You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
