Episode 308 Transcript
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 308 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started. Hello, beautiful friends. This is Danielle Tal and you are listening to the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Podcast. So as you might imagine, I'm not recording this. Podcast exactly on, the present day that you're listening to [00:01:00] it.
And it is about a month ahead. So there's a little irony when I want to so much wish all of you a very happy. New Year. It's 2026. Not literally when I'm recording it, but recording it. But when it is released out to you, all my beautiful podcast listeners, it is a new year and so I just feel so compelled to talk to you as if that has that has happened.
And just wanna say, I hope you had a beautiful holiday season. I hope that this year welcomed you with health and happiness, and I hope that we can continue to gather each week for more things to help in your mom life. Obviously, this is for my listeners who are hearing this in real time.
And these podcasts are out there on perpetuity. So if you're [00:02:00] listening to this and it's not even close to the new year, I still think that today's topic is gonna be so relevant no matter what time of year. But it's just the reality of me talking into this mic and thinking what's going on right now in the world and when this is released.
And this is how it always is for my podcast. I have to project a few weeks in the future and I just am hoping that you all are feeling that there's, just always a sense of, newness and starting over. And just some, goal setting focus. And I hope that what I'm offering you on the podcast today helps. Helps you discern whether it, this is something you wanna work on or commit to in your life, and that's breaking the habit of being busy.
But before we jump into that, just a few other side notes. We are on episode [00:03:00] 308 here and a few weeks ago I put out, it's at our 300th. I guess that's a couple months. By the time this comes out, the three hundredths episode, I wanted to remind you. I created a roadmap for those of you that are new to me, first of all, welcome.
And for those who have listened, and it's just been a while since you've heard some of the other episodes, there's a roadmap that you can go to and I'll link it in the show notes to distill down and remind yourself of what I think are the 25 most essential kind of concepts or topics for you to create the peaceful, the peace of mind in your life that you want.
So go ahead and check on that link if you haven't already, and download the podcast roadmap. And it will help you. Maybe you make that one of your goals this month is to check off listening to each of [00:04:00] those 25, because I know that whatever is going on in your life right now and that whatever your New Year's goals are and whatever challenges and issues, that there is an answer and there is real help in those episodes.
Okay. And the next thing I wanna talk about is my Peaceful Mom Strategy Calls that I offer for free. If you are a mom who wants more peace, if you wanna feel and grow in the fruit of the spirit of more patience. If you want to feel more control over your day instead of your day and whatever life brings you controlling you and not someday but now, I then wanna invite you to a free Peaceful Mom Strategy call. And this is where together we will look at what's overwhelming you. What's overwhelming you right now at [00:05:00] this time in your whatever stage of motherhood you're in. And we're gonna then talk about what you really want instead. And I am going to help show you a simple path that you can take to become a more calmer, more grounded version of yourself if that's something you want for this year.
So if life feels heavier than you want it to right now. Coming to this call, setting up an appointment with me for us talking personally one-on-one together. That's your next step. Okay. All right. And then I also wanna let you know that I am focusing with my with my clients. And with anyone I come in, contact you, I am having a focus this year of making it the year of no more excuses.
And what I mean by that, and again, I don't know off the top of my head right now [00:06:00] what number it is, but. I will link it in the show notes. But not too long ago, I did do a podcast just on the excuses that are the most common that come up that keep us from moving forward showing up in the way that we want to and having the life we want to.
So I'll link that, but I that, when I did that podcast, that's when the flame was lit. For this whole concept for me to keep focused on and to help you out there. Our brain will always be offering us excuses and a lot of them are lies. They're lies. Our brain tells us. It thinks that it's helping us.
It's just, its job is to protect us and have us survive. And so it wants to do anything possible to have us avoid pain. And so it offers us an excuses. And the thing is that we believe them. We take it and we believe it, and we just [00:07:00] move in our life carrying it around. And so I want to bring that more clarity to what excuses you are using and holding back in your life.
And that is what's bringing me to this first episode of the year is because one of the main excuses our brain offers us is I am too busy. And as one more little sidestep before we dive in here I am in the middle of, at the point as we are recording this podcast, which again, is in the past of a few weeks before you're listening to this.
And I am working on creating my own planner to be able to offer to you all. Again, it's going to coincide with helping you be less busy, which is to have more of a routine and more of a planner that helps you work with your human brain and the mindset of a busy [00:08:00] mom.
And so if it is ready now, if it's something that you can order and get your hands on, it will be linked in the show notes of this podcast. But if you go there and it's not there, it's because it's not ready yet. But keep looking for it because it will show up as being available soon. And I'm very excited about this planner and to be able to offer to you because it help it brings together my approach of Divine Time, which is the, our, looking at the relationship of time as being God's gift.
It's laid out in a way that you will be able to support a lot of the principles that I talk about on this podcast. It's gonna bring you more peace. It's gonna help you be happier, it's gonna help you be healthier, and it's definitely gonna help you be holier so excited for this planner. Okay, so no more excuses, right?
And one of those excuses is I'm too busy. [00:09:00] I know so many of you want to do this year differently, right? Maybe you're tired of feeling like you're constantly running behind, you're always stressed. You're never quite catching up, and if slowing down and having a softer way of productivity is something that you want this year, then this episode and helping yourself see.
You want to stop making the excuse that I'm so busy then this episode is, especially for you it affects so many of us mamas, right? The busy habit and yes, I am calling it a habit because that is exactly what it is. Being busy isn't just about having a lot to do. It's become the way of being that we've subconsciously chosen.
And I want to explore this more. I wanna explore how you can choose differently. [00:10:00] I know I'm raising my hand here when I say, have you ever caught yourself saying, I'm too busy As your like, go-to excuse for why, let's say you can't take care of yourself or why you can't go after that, that, that dream you have or why you can't make the changes that you say you really wanna make?
Then please, if this. Sounds like you take what I'm offering you here today to heart. Okay? I just hear it all the time. I'm just so busy. It becomes like a default response when someone asks you how you're doing, and here's the thing that might surprise you. Everyone being constantly busy. Is not actually a badge of honor.
You wanna choose put on carry around with [00:11:00] you. You're like a necklace you put on every day. It's not oh, this is going to help make me sparkle or make my as you would say, like with a necklace make my outfit just totally complete. Like you being a mom and your life, like taking the honor the necklace of busy and putting it on does not, important or valuable, or doing enough when you have this busyness badge on you. In fact, it might be just the very thing that's keeping you from the peaceful and purposeful life that you want, because here is the truth everyone about busy, right? And. I'm sharing something that completely changed my perspective on this, and that is busy is not about your circumstances.
It's not about your [00:12:00] to-do list and how many kids you have and all the things you've chosen to take on and what your circumstances are in your life like. So for instance, mine was, and I had three kids and they were this certain age and then I was doing a home renovation and then I had my parents where we were taking care of them and I also worked outside the home.
And so like I could list and tell you why. Because on those other things, then your brain tells you, you still have to do the laundry and you still have to do the grocery shopping, and you still have to help the kids with their homework. And then do you see, those are all circumstances.
That's not what, how many you have or how many you're choosing to bring into your life for how many you're choosing. To look around and see that doesn't equate busy. You know what it's about? Your state of mind. That's what busy is about. And I know that might sound hard to believe when you're [00:13:00] looking at your calendar, right?
That's completely packed. Or a house that feels like Chaos Central. But stay with me here. Think about it this way. Have you ever noticed how some people with incredibly full schedules never seem frazzled? That they can be calm, present, and somehow they can seem to have all the time in the world.
Meanwhile, there's others over here with relatively simple schedules who are constantly overwhelmed and stressed. The difference isn't in what each individual person is doing. It's in how they are thinking about what they're doing and that my friends is everything. It's huge [00:14:00] when we are stuck in the busy habit.
If that's you, then our minds are constantly running thoughts through it like this. There's so much to do. I'll never get it all done. I should be doing more. Everyone else has it together. Why can't I? If I'm not constantly productive, then that equals I'm, me being lazy or I have to do everything myself.
Does that sound like you? It definitely sounded like an old version of me. Why? How do I know? Because in order to offer those to you, I literally said back when I was overwhelmed and stress and not showing up like the mom I wanted and racing around and wishing for rest and relaxation and having time for self care, et cetera, et cetera.
What was I thinking? And those were those thoughts. So those, that's what I carried around all the time. And then those thoughts, that's what's creating [00:15:00] your emotions like overwhelm, anxiety, and stress. Those were mind, but it wasn't all the things I had to do. It wasn't the renovating of the house and working outside the home and the three kids and all their activities and everything.
It wasn't all of that. It was coming from my thoughts that was creating the busy, and then I just got up the next day and thought the same way and the next day I chose to think about my life in the same way, and that is what built the habit that I always felt busy. When we feel overwhelmed and stressed, then how do we show up in our lives?
We rush. We multitask, we try to do 17 things at once and end up doing none of them particular and when I bring the faith perspective in here, right? These are the things like Christ didn't rush. He wasn't doing multiple things at the same [00:16:00] time, right? So we want to just be able to pause. To realize that these excuses our brain are offering and we want to be able to pivot and decide and take control, that we are gonna do things differently.
I heard a coach bring in this metaphor, another coach that I listened to that I wanna add that this is how she said and I thought that this was a really relatable way, right? Say it's trying to put on mascara while you're running late, right? You either will make a mess that will then take you even longer to fix.
Like for me, I know if I don't let it dry or if I don't, get some blow air on it or whatever, like it will then hit the top of my eye, which then I get a Q-tip in and then I wet it and then I wipe it down and then anyways, it you end up with maybe clumpy, uneven lashes that you're not happy with [00:17:00] anyway.
So the rushing doesn't actually help you. It in, in this mascara example, it actually made everything harder. That's what I want you to point. I want you to start seeing in the other ways that you are like rushing and multitasking and taking on like a million things in a day. And here's what I think is like the most heartbreaking part.
Living in constant busy mode is I do believe you, you miss out on your like actual lives, which this is what we want our lives to be made up of. Spontaneous moments of connection with our kids. We might miss the opportunity to be present and really enjoy like the good parts of. We miss the chance to hear what [00:18:00] God might be whispering to our hearts because we're too distracted to listen.
And I was talking with a client recently. Who told me, I feel like I'm living my life on fast forward. And when anyone says the word fast forward. I know I'm dating my hair, I dating myself here. I think about using a tape and a tape player and hitting the fast forward button. Anyways and I, and she said, I can't figure out how to slow down.
Can you relate to that? It. It's like being on a treadmill that just keeps getting faster and faster, and then you're afraid to step off because you think like everything will fall apart if you don't keep going in that way that you're just so used to. And remember, the brain loves to be comfortable and it gets comfortable.
When we've built a habit, it becomes easier, so it's like it's easier for you to be busy. But I really [00:19:00] want you today to perhaps decide to step off your treadmill because what if it doesn't make everything fall apart? You won't know until you try. What if slowing down actually made you more effective, not less or more productive, not less.
I do believe it will. And the question is, do you wanna borrow my thought about it? Now, before I talk to you about how to break the habit of being busy, I wanna help you understand why you've created it in the first place. And this is a little uncomfortable to hear on some levels, and that is we choose to be busy.
I know. You're probably thinking, Danielle, I don't choose this. I have real responsibilities and I want to affirm that and say, yes, you [00:20:00] absolutely do. But what I'm talking about is just a little deeper than that. It's like sometimes we use busyness as a shield. Could this be you? When you're constantly busy, you then have an excuse for why you're not pursuing maybe that dream.
Maybe there's a difficult conversation you need to have, maybe taking care of yourself, right? You're using busyness as a shield. It becomes your reason for not showing up fully in your own lives, because with those other things, there's either fear or worry and sometimes busy makes us feel important.
This, I wanna say equates from what our culture tells us, right? That productivity is equal to your worth. And being busy can feel like it's proof. Like we get to give ourselves proof that we matter when we think we have so much to do, and then we're in the midst [00:21:00] of trying to complete all of it. And sometimes, and this is a big one for us moms, right?
Busy does help us avoid the guilt. This is what I mean. If you're constantly doing, we can then tell ourselves that we're being good mothers, that we're good wives, that we're good women. We don't have to sit still long enough to question whether all of this doing is actually serving us well or serving our family well.
Your mind might be thinking. That's not me. I really am just overwhelmed with legitimate responsibilities, and maybe that's true. However, I invite you to consider what if there was a way to handle all those responsibilities without the frantic energy? What if you could be productive without being [00:22:00] depleted?
It's definitely worth contemplating answers and coming up with answers to those questions. Okay. So moving your life from busy. And I would just wanna add stuffed chaotic rushing and. Just feeling a little out of control. Two, a more balanced, in control, peaceful, calm, effective, productive softer.
This is exactly the kind of transformation I help women make, help you manage your lives from a place of peace instead of chaos. And it all starts with understanding that balance isn't about having equal amounts of everything in your life. [00:23:00] Instead, it's about approaching your life from a centered, grounded place regardless of what's on your plate.
This is my cyclone mom method, right? We're in the center of the storm where the calm is where all your power lies. Regardless of what all is in your swirl, in your storm at that moment, at the at this day. So here's what I want you to try this week. I want you to notice your thoughts about time when you catch yourself thinking I don't have enough time, or I'm so behind.
Pause, ask yourself, is this helping me or hurting me to believe this? Because it's not a truth. It's an optional [00:24:00] way of looking at your life and the items that are going on that you want to accomplish, right? And so I think for a lot of you, you will realize it's actually hurting me to choose to believe that I don't have enough time.
It's hurting you to choose to believe you are so behind. There's just time and the amount there is and there's just where you are right now. So they're adding that. We don't have enough for adding and making where you are right now mean that you're behind. That's the optional part. That's where your brain has the right.
In choice to pick anything, but it's picking something that's hurting you. When you choose to think, I don't have enough time, your brain just starts looking for evidence that it's true. And then suddenly we notice every delay, every interruption, [00:25:00] every moment that feels wasted. I'm doing air quotes right now with my fingers, okay, wasted.
But what if instead you thought, I have exactly the right amount of time for what truly matters? And I'm not asking you to pretend that you don't have any deadlines or responsibilities. I actually love deadlines for your brain because it gives it a container to focus. Reach for and to make a commitment to, but I am asking you to question whether the frantic energy you bring to each of those responsibilities is actually serving you, and that frantic energy is not coming from the amount of things and responsibilities you have.
It's coming from you. This is where the change needs to happen. Okay, so let's just get practical. It's like I like to do on these podcasts when you're, 'cause I know that everybody's brain out there always just okay, how do I do that? What exactly, what does that look like? And I'm gonna give you three practical ways that [00:26:00] you could start with that will help you break the busy habit.
First, you could start your planning with yourself. Instead of filling your calendar with everyone else's needs, trying to squeeze yourself in around the edges. Start with what you need, mama. What do you need for rest, for connection with God, for taking care of your body? Put those things in first, then see what time is left.
Especially if anything bubbles up for you that says, this feels selfish, then you definitely need to sign up for a peaceful mom strategy call with me because we want to move through that excuse. Okay? Remember, it's the year of no more excuses. Think about it this way. When you are running on empty, you have nothing good to give anyone else anyway.
Taking [00:27:00] care of yourself first is actually one of the most loving things you can do for your family. I will never waver on this. Okay. Second. 'cause I know I was about to go out on a tangent about self-care and I'm gonna bring it back. Okay. 'cause we were talking about breaking the busy habit.
Second practical step. Work with your brain, not against it. Your brain wants to help you, but we need to direct it. It's not always helpful in the ways that it tries. If you just leave it to its own accord, when your mind starts spinning with all the things you need to don't try to fight it. Instead, do what the word, what's gonna relate to all of you is a brain dump, right?
I would like to think more of a task download. And in my new planner, that will be available soon, if not already. Go ahead, check the show notes, then [00:28:00] you, I call this a task download, right? Get everything out of your head and onto paper. Then from there, it's so helpful. Then you can organize and prioritize from a calmer place.
And then again, my new planner is gonna help you organize and prioritize. It's already guides you in the template that I use. But really with this one to break the habit, it is to see that busy is more of an emotion that you feel that's coming from all the things you're choosing to think and to believe that's going on in your brain.
So one of the things we wanna do is to get all of those things in our brain out on paper because then you can actually see it and do something about it. Alright, third. It's, we want to start choosing differently. Choosing differently in our thinking. Remember what I said [00:29:00] about thoughts, creating your state of being and how you feel?
Yeah. We need to start paying attention to those thoughts more, and we wanna choose more deliberately, more intentionally, more consciously. Thoughts that make you feel more energized when you think it. Versus the ones that you're thinking now that are depleting you. This is where the Oh, I'm so busy comes.
Right, which is, could be different from the other person who's oh, I've got lots going on. And it's like from this like energized place, when you catch yourself thinking a thought that makes you feel frantic. Ask yourself, what would I rather think instead if I didn't feel frantic or I felt calm, or I felt more in control?
So here's a practical example, instead of, I'll never get all this done, try, I'll focus on what matters most to me [00:30:00] today. Instead of thinking, I'm so behind try, I'm actually just right where I am right now instead of, I should be doing more try. I've choosing to do my best with what I have today. The, and the goal isn't to be perfect in this, right?
I'm always wanting to remem you all to remember. We don't have to have a perfect schedule, or it's not that you're, the goal is for you to never feel busy again. The goal is always to live from a place of more of peace and calm and in control and confidence more often than not. The goal is to be more present in your own life.
Have more awareness of your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, instead of constantly [00:31:00] racing towards some imaginary finish line and that this is news to anyone, y'all. It's always an imaginary finish. Because what happens as soon as the to-do list is all checked off, another one just magically gets born in your head.
It either is this is my new list for tomorrow. This is what I'm gonna get done by the end of the month. And I know you might be thinking, but what if I slow down and things don't get done? But here's what I've learned, the important things do always get done. The things that really matter, like you do, organize and commit to getting those done.
The things that don't get done, they probably weren't, didn't matter as much, or you just listened to the excuse and lie your brain offered you, or you just, you did prioritize. You did decide [00:32:00] you wanted something else More than that's all that happened. I just, instead of you asking, how can I get more done, I want you to start asking, how can I be more intentional?
How, instead of, how can I be more productive? It's like, how can I be more peaceful doing the things I want to get done? Do you you feel the little adjustment, the tweak. Okay, so as always, I don't want you to feel like you have to overhaul everything. Can you choose just one area? Can you choose one offering that I had here?
Something that resonates that you could start practicing slowing down, right? Maybe it's something in your morning routine, right? Instead of rushing through it, you had a little bit more intention and presence when you did it. Maybe it's how you respond to your children. So instead of multitasking while they're talking to you, maybe you're gonna try to stop what you're [00:33:00] doing.
Look them in the eye. Really listen, breaking the busy habit isn't about doing less, but if some of you choose to do less, I'm all on board for that as well, right? It's, again, it's being more deliberate and intentional about what you do Choose. To start doing, to finish doing, to bring on your list and what you wanna stop doing.
It really is about moving from the thoughts that create you being feeling frantic and depleted and the, against kind of time and feeling behind. And it is. Finding the thoughts that create more calm centeredness type of energy, that when you're thinking that and feeling more of those more helpful feelings, then you actually accomplish more with less effort.
That's really what happens. Okay. So I hope that what I've shared with you [00:34:00] today if it resonates with you. And maybe you're thinking, I hear you. But I want some, I don't know, accountability with this, I want some more guidance. Then again I'm inviting you. The best place to start is to actually meet and talk with me in person, and that's not a hard thing to do.
I love to meet you listeners, and the way that I do this, I call it a peaceful mom strategy call. It's a complimentary conversation. We're gonna look at your specific situations in life, right? We're gonna just talk about and strategize in a personal way. And it's always about bringing more peace to you in whatever area of life needs at most, right?
If it's relationships, if it's your physical health, if it's your career, business, if your spiritual life if it's. If it has to do with your emotional wellbeing, [00:35:00] if it has to do with time or money, right? Wherever that busy habit, we it could be about the busy habit that maybe you want to break or something else entirely that's stealing your piece.
We'll map it out exactly what needs to shift and how to make it happen. All right, and you can go schedule that call. You can go to my website, danielle tal.com. It'll be available as a link in the show notes. These calls right, they're one of my favorite parts. I get to meet amazing women like you all out there, and I wanna help you see a clear path forward.
All right, everyone. This one was a little bit longer. I'm just so passionate about helping you minimize the busyness in your life and work towards a more balanced life. So thank you so much for being here today. If you know of a friend or a loved one or an acquaintance [00:36:00] who you think can benefit from this episode, please share it with them.
Please forward. Copy the link. I just want you all to know you are so worthy of a peaceful life. All right. Until next week, may peace be with you Always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review.
It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a [00:37:00] group coaching program with like-minded women, or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book.
You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you [00:38:00] always.
