Episode 314 Transcript
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 314 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello. Hello, beautiful Mamas. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast. I am in such a great mood and that is a delightful time for me to be able to sit down and talk to you about what I think are so important [00:01:00] subjects for you mamas out there, the ones who want more peace in their life and today in particular, want more confidence in your life.
I was out for it is just, it's chilly, it's sunny and I was out for this really long, beautiful hike with my husband today, and I was just thinking about all of the things that I've accomplished so far this year and what I'm working on right now, and I just feel so confident about it all.
But I also remember just like it was yesterday when I didn't have like some of the things that I've got going on in my life, including this service-based business that I do, where I now have, these podcast episodes that help. I have books and I have so many beautiful coaching clients and [00:02:00] but when I didn't have it, there was something in my heart that was telling me, even though I was surrounded by my beautiful family and lots of things lots of blessings and had so much to be grateful for, there was just something in my heart that yearned for more.
And if this if you find that resonant, that there's something that you feel like you wanna go after and you just are feeling a lack of confidence for, I wanna address you today. I've named this episode How to Stop Holding Yourself Back. I could have said how to have more confidence to go after what your heart's desire is.
I could have named it for those who want more listen, who feel like that they're made for more, maybe you're, you just feel like you have some gifts that God gave you and you just can't [00:03:00] quite organize them in your brain and know what to do. But this episode is for you. So I wanna welcome you back this week.
I wanna let you know I'm Danielle Thienel. I'm your host. I'm a certified life coach who concentrates on helping overwhelmed, busy moms who just want more calm, more clarity. They, you have this inner desire to. Feel more in control of your life. And this one episode is about confidence. And the opposite of that is when we allow our brain to just offer ourselves excuses and then we listen to it.
Okay. And then what I describe that is that it's keeping you and your life small. Now, this year, the main theme that I'm focusing on with my coaching clients is it's the year of no more excuses, right? And it's because I know it keeps you stuck. And I know [00:04:00] feeling stuck in life feels terrible.
So let's just not look at what is holding us back. But let's look at why. Just as a little side caveat, it was episode 298 that I did an episode on, like no more excuses or the excuses that we might be using in our life. So that would be a really good one to listen to along with this one, which is 314.
Okay. Why do we keep playing small? Why do we talk ourselves out of the next right thing for our lives? Why do we feel that tug in our heart, but we still don't move? I want this episode or if you find yourself in this place, I want you to see that today. My message to you is it's a call.
It's a calling. It's a call for you to rise. Okay? [00:05:00] It's for you if you have felt that quiet whisper inside that says, there's more for me. And if you have been hearing that whisper and nudge, but you've also been shoving it aside in, in thinking, I'll wait until things settle down before I get started on that, or it is just not the right season for me right now.
I'm too tired. Or I should not take that on because I just should be grateful. I shouldn't want more because I have so much already or so much beauty. Does any of this resonate? Now, I'm not saying that for all of you that any kind of action forward that you shouldn't stop and pause and reflect and say, is this the right season?
It, do I need to focus not on doing the thing that brings, to stretch [00:06:00] me or to go after or my desire because I haven't solved for being physically tired yet. But for most of us, it will. These thoughts that I've offered are actually excuses.
Waiting till things settle down. Not the right season. Too tired. Should be grateful and not want more. These are what I'm talking about for most of us. If you are really honest with yourself, those are excuses that you are listening to and these thoughts they do. They sound logical, they sound reasonable. They even feel virtuous. Here's what I want you to know today.
They are lies from the part of your brain that just wants you to stay safe once your life, to stay status quo, because as I've mentioned here many times before, your brain in particular, the part we call the lower [00:07:00] brain, was designed to keep you alive, not to make you fulfilled. It has just three main goals.
What that has the technical name of called the motivational triad, and that the goal for your brain, this part of your brain is for you to conserve energy, seek pleasure, and avoid pain. That's it. That's the, that part of your brain's default setting and it's why you stepping out of your comfort zone.
Even to do something that would really deeply bless your life. That's why it feels hard because your brain isn't sabotaging you. It's doing what it was computed created, wired to do, which is to keep you from doing anything uncertain, uncomfortable, or that would require a lot of effort. But then there's your [00:08:00] heart.
We were talking about your brain, your heart, mama. That is where your God-given desires live. And some of you who are listening right now, you are tuned into your brain, which is shouting. Stay safe. Don't do that hard thing. Don't go after your dreams. Don't make those life changes. But it is your heart.
That is the one that's whispering. There's more, right? Maybe you've had this moment, like a quiet dream of a longing, a what if thought. Maybe it's something you used to want, but now it feels buried under laundry, work, emails, or everyone else's needs. Maybe it's something you've never even said out loud.
That's what I mean by [00:09:00] staying small. It's not about your title or your reach, it's about whether or not your honoring what God placed in your heart. And I remember when I first started this business, right? There, there was a deep longing to serve in a way. I knew I had talents, I knew I had gifts. I knew that I had transformation in my own life.
I almost felt like I was just carrying around some secret formulas, especially once I hired my own personal life coach and all of the things I learned and the changes and the transformations and the piece came. Pouring in and I had just started enjoying life and just overall more happiness, and I just felt like a lot more kind of in control of things.
I felt like I had the how [00:10:00] right? I didn't know at the time. That even beyond me just listening to that, you getting certified or sending up a business, like I didn't really see the, all the other things that would come with it, but that's okay. I just needed to get over the excuses. My brain had, my brain that I couldn't afford it.
That who am I to be an expert in this subject when I'm not like a perfect mom. And I had so many excuses that bubbled up, but I just had this, I just had this knowing that I was made for more. And of course, now that I've, have years under my belt with it, I can see it. Five books, look at, we're on 314 episode of a podcast. I have done speaking engagements. I coach, hundreds of women. And again, like this was the, I knew there was something, didn't really know the [00:11:00] how of it all, but I only just needed to overcome those first initial excuses and I needed to get out of my stuckness. Was it all worth it?
Absolutely. Has it been hard and uncomfortable and challenge me and push me and grow me and make me like, overcome and take like leaps of faith when it comes to my, like investments into things and my time and my energy. Yes. One uncomfortable decision is part of why you're listening to this episode right now.
Is because I stopped listening to the excuses. So maybe you have some reasons that are keeping you small, some [00:12:00] excuses that you're using that are keeping you stuck today. Maybe it's something like, other people need me more than I need, whatever it is your heart's desire is. Maybe you've thought I've tried before.
I actually did take some action and it didn't work. Maybe the excuse is, it feels selfish to prioritize myself. I remember right when I started this business, it was in the thick of my children all going to Catholic school and all of their life's activities and, my husband was building his business and all of that.
And so yeah, I'm probably wanted to have that, I shouldn't prioritize myself at this time. There, there was that, there'll be a better time later. Maybe you have the excuse that you don't wanna fail again. Maybe you're thinking, this is just how life is for moms. I should be able to figure this out on my own.
Could be an [00:13:00] excuse that's coming up that is keeping you stuck or I don't trust myself to follow through. I'm just off the top of my head just thinking, what is it that. You out there who are stuck, what could you be listening to? Because your brain wants you to stay safe, and this episode is trying to nudge you towards your heart, right?
Because this is what I've learned. Again, I've coached hundreds of women. The thoughts that I just offered you, they're not the truth. They're just fear. They're all dressed up as logic. Like other people be like, yeah, that makes sense. Sure, sure. But. When you stop believing, when you start showing up for yourself, you are on your way to becoming a new woman.
A more peaceful one. A more focused one. A more alive one. And [00:14:00] maybe you're thinking as you're listening to me, something stirring inside of me. I think she's onto me. Or how did she know? Maybe you're thinking, this is me. She's talking directly to me. Maybe it's that quiet call you've been ignoring and I am your little megaphone into your ear today.
Perhaps you want to go back to school. Perhaps you wanna write a book. This was one of my secret desires. I remember not even saying it out loud. What if you wanna speak up more in your home? How about taking better care of your body? Maybe you wanna serve in a way that lights you up. Maybe you wanna feel a little bit more like you again, as sometimes gets buried right in those, especially in those early stages of motherhood.
What of these that is just [00:15:00] coming up when you think about your own life? Maybe you believe that call is from God. I know I did. Perhaps you just don't know where to begin. That's all. That's all. Okay. And I have some simple places that I want you to start when you are ready to stop holding yourself back.
First, I want you to notice the thought behind the pause. Can we find that excuse, did one that I already offer resonate, or are you on yourself? Can you be like, what is it that I'm telling myself that's not letting you take any forward momentum or action towards whatever's in your heart? Because every time you catch yourself hesitating, I want you to ask yourself, what am I telling myself right now?
It might be that you're saying, I'll probably fail, or I don't have time, or it's not the right [00:16:00] season. Okay. First of all, we gotta find it in order to overcome it, we or change it. We need to find it. Don't judge it. Just notice it. We all have these thoughts. Our brain is so strong trying to keep us stuck.
Remember, awareness is always the first step, so let's all figure that out. Okay. Then what I want you to do is I want you to decide on purpose, who you wanna be. Ask yourself, if I fully trusted, would I believe God is calling me to what the plan for my life, or at least just you have a really a good guess, or you think you don't even have to feel a hundred percent sure.
Then how would you show up today? Would you take the class? Would you say no to the thing that's draining you? Would you speak with more confidence today? [00:17:00] Let your faith, not your fear. Make the decision and remember, you don't have to like it. It could be that you look at this, all the steps that it would take to for you to accomplish whatever that goal or dream or desire in your heart is, and that can be way overwhelming.
Remember, I love that, decide on purpose, who you wanna be, but let's just talk about what that you would need to do today. What is that one little thing, that first little step? We don't have to go to the whole, everything that wouldn't entail to get there, because that might shut you down a little bit.
And the whole point of this episode is to help you stop being stuck. Okay. Now this one will go along with the previous episodes that we've had in the few weeks preceding this one. And that is to feel the fear and do it anyway. Okay. This is where whatever bubbles up that's keeping you stuck.[00:18:00]
Now, have you learned that skill? Have you, are you able to just feel the feeling of fear and. Have it come along with you, but don't let it keep you stuck anymore. Just take action, right? Because you're not, I, if something's scary, it's not an indication that we're doing it wrong. In fact, it probably means you're on the right track, that you're pushing yourself, challenge yourself, doing something brand new that you don't know of, and you know your brain's doing acrobatics in there.
So just take one small, brave step. Today, even if your heart is pounding while you are doing it, the next thing I wanna offer you is I want you to surround yourself with truth speakers, okay? Isolation. It will feed yourself doubt if you're by yourself, if you're just alone with your lower brain. Again, it's a [00:19:00] bully.
It's not nice to us. Sometimes you need other people. And I'm gonna say other women in your corner who will remind you of who you are and whose you are, whether it's through coaching with me, that will a thousand percent be guaranteed. That you will be surrounding yourself with a truth speaker. And then if you're in my, group program, right? With other women who have just the same kind of desires and goals as you do, right? But whether you're in a, again, a community or in your church, just get around people who call you higher, who lift you up, who, when you do speak that out loud, they support you and are cheerleaders for you.
Be careful when you are surrounding about people who are the naysayers and say, why do you wanna do that? Or, that sounds like [00:20:00] it'll be, really hard. You just wanna surround yourself with people who will lift you up regarding what it is that you wanna go after. And then this one I love to offer.
I do this a lot. And that is for you to begin today, practice acting from your future self, right? This is where you ask, what would the version of me who already lives boldly doing the things like, if you were living out your dream, what would you do next? Right now, right? And then you go do that.
So for instance. If you were going to say you wrote a, wanted to write a novel that was in your heart to write a book, your future self, who has it done right? What would she tell you? What would you like, need to do to today? And maybe it's [00:21:00] simply writing three full pages a day.
Maybe you have to like research. Or publishers or how to get maybe you'd sketch out your book cover, something like that. And you want to be able to go to that future version of yourself who already has it, who's not stuck, who's well into progressing and is doing the thing, and then you come back and you ask, what would the version of me who already lives in with that result, what would she say to you to do today, to do next?
And then I just want you to go do that. That woman, the one who speaks up, the one who follows through, the one who takes up space, she's already in you. You just need to let her lead, and not all of those excuses and thoughts coming from your lower part of your brain. [00:22:00] That is the reason that we are stuck.
Okay. All right everyone. I hope that those of you that desire more confidence or if you find yourself feeling this tug saying you are made for more, but you just have been holding yourself back listening to the excuses, and there is no shame in that is all of us. That happens.
Then I hope that there was something that stirred in you today. And I also hope that maybe you can see that I've offered a couple things you can start doing today, right? Notice those thoughts behind when you pause to ask yourself why you know what your brain is saying when you are feeling and seeing that you're not taking action.
Decide on purpose, who you wanna be. I want you to feel the fear and do it anyway. And I want you to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and support these [00:23:00] desires of yours and practice acting from that future version of yourself that has already accomplished it. I hope again, that something in your spirit stirred, and if so, I wanna invite you to take another courageous next step.
Come book a free Peaceful Mom strategy call with me. Okay, this is your chance to pause, reflect, explore what's possible if you like, stop holding yourself back. If you're someone who is not sure why or can't find those excuses on your own, I can help you and then I can help you build a clearer version.
Of what it would be like for you to be going after and having your desires. And then of course when we have that conversation, all of the ohs or the what, the oh nos or don't do that are gonna bubble up. And that's exactly what coaching helps you move through and break through. Okay. Just go to daniellethienel.com and you [00:24:00] can find that, book your call button and we'll.
That's where we'll get started. Yeah, but here's what I know. If you are feeling stuck today, mama, right? You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to stop ignoring those excuses, and you have to just have faith in the nudge that God has already placed inside of you. So let this be your year to rise out of it.
Let this be your year of no more holding back. Okay everyone. Until next time, may peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of The Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace [00:25:00] of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women, or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time to find out which path is right for you.
Let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com. Or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, [00:26:00] Hot to Call On Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom.
Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book dot danielle tal.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
