Episode 326 How Honoring the Sabbath Can Create More Peace
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Speaker: [00:00:00] You are listening to episode 326 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Welcome to The Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place where you can move out of overwhelm and into a calm, confident motherhood with God at the center. I'm Danielle Thienel certified life coach Catholic Mom and creator of the Cyclone Mom Method. I help you create emotional, steadiness and peace of mind from the inside out.
So you can experience more balance and more joy in your busy mom life. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started. Hello everyone. I'm so glad you're here for this one. When I was thinking about creating this podcast and I was writing down my notes to speak to you about today, I was just thinking about how.
This was not on my radar for this year, [00:01:00] this change in my life, this focus, this real gift that came, even when I'm setting out like New Year's goals and things, it's like I couldn't have even taken my mind to come up with this on my own. And this is what I love about moving through life. And how things can change in a moment.
And I know we always talk about that in the context of changing. Oh no, like trouble can strike us at any moment, or we don't know what we're gonna be dealt with the next day. And it's more in a negative connotation. But I wanna just offer what things could change in a moment for the better.
That will bring, that will just change the direction of your life. And you just didn't see it coming. And often, and I'm gonna just, even right now as I'm saying that out loud, I'm thinking, yep, it was, I know that this was an answer to a prayer, but not a direct prayer. [00:02:00] Like I didn't ask for.
Hey, help me honor the Sabbath more Lord. But I'm sure when I'm praying about other goals, about wanting more peace, right? Or if I'm handing over something, that's burdensome or trouble or challenging to me when I'm handing it over to him to take care of it, yoke, when he says his yoke is lighter I think this was an answer.
This is what he provided me. And I am just wanting to start out this episode thinking, if your day's already full and your mind is racing a little, or you're dealing with a challenge, I want you to notice that we don't have to fix anything, but I'm so glad you're here today because this could be the answer.
That you're looking for, and you didn't, you won't even know it. You didn't see it coming because where I got this idea, [00:03:00] this experiment that I was doing, it came from a book, and so it's one day I didn't have this book. The next day the book was presented to me, and then I actually read it and it just.
Open my mind to a whole different perspective and something inside was born. So even if it's not this subject that we're talking about today about how honoring the Sabbath can create more peace in your life, I want you to just take on or borrow my belief that things can change for the better Suddenly.
And they can change in a different way. You weren't expecting it or the way that it's delivered to you. And I hope that brings you some hope. I hope it brings you some relief. I hope it brings you like a little bit of like excitement. Anyways, today what I wanna talk to you about is something that might feel both very [00:04:00] familiar to you and very foreign at the same time.
This is how I describe. The Sabbath, which is honoring Sunday as a day of rest. Now, if you grew up Catholic or Christian, you've heard this your whole life, right? God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day he rested and he called it good. So we know it. We do believe it's good. We probably go to mass on Sunday and maybe Sundays feel a little bit slower in general, but I wanna ask you something gently.
Have you ever intentionally. Honored the Sabbath, like not just attended church, not just have a slightly less busy day, but actually decided today I will step into non-urgent urgency. [00:05:00] Today I will live unhurried today. I will rest on purpose Now, as I've mentioned in some previous podcast episodes or if you haven't heard them, heard me mention I just came to this book by Matthew Kelly called Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy. And in this book that is what has sparked. The experiment that I did on myself before I'm bringing it to you all. And then again, thinking and having reaped the benefits of having way more peace of mind in my life because of this the results of this experience that I wanted to offer it to you in this way that I get to deliver help.
And my message to you mamas. And in this book, he proposed something that. I felt was like both simple but yet radical and I mean to my own life too. [00:06:00] And I know that many of you out there think and operate like I do or definitely when I was in my busy season. And he says that there's one universal practice that can guarantee.
You step into like non-urgent urgency, unhurried living margin and peace in your life, and that is to actively practice the Sabbath. And I realize something like I've gone to church on Sundays and a lot of times Saturday evenings my whole life, but I had never truly experimented with honoring the Sabbath.
I might have just been slow and on hurry just because, at some points, right? Like I remember like there was nothing going on TV on Sundays. Or it was just a day that wasn't. Overly scheduled. And this is [00:07:00] my younger, I don't think that's the case. It ha it has been with my own family and nowadays because I think that our society is just, it's free for all for any day of the week, right?
But I had never truly experienced honoring the Sabbath, and from what I truly resonated from his book, which aligns with my philosophies and teachings. So much they totally overlap, interconnect, just somebody else saying it a little bit differently. And I'm always trying to learn more.
About all that. I'm here teaching you all that has affected my life in a positive way. And in fact, in my Cyclone Mom Method book, the process that I use to help moms remain calm in control and confident in their busy lives. Step one is to call on your faith. And in that book and in my process, it is for sure about slowing down.
About not being in a hurry [00:08:00] and following how Christ lived here on earth. And this book also talks about the same things, but we laser focused, or he laser focused it for me for putting that into practice when it comes to Sundays. So at the timing of when I'm. Getting this episode after you.
I've done that. I've done that for four Sundays in a row and it's was just an experiment. I didn't go in there with rigidity and there was no like heavy rules that I put on myself. I was just literally more intentional. And Mama, even in four weeks. And I wrote down about the four weeks and the experiments and the result.
That's what I'm building this podcast episode, but really when I'm technically thinking about it, I just had [00:09:00] another one this past Sunday. But when I wrote my notes to be able to record this podcast and kind of get my little outline, I hadn't had that Sunday, that fifth experience yet. So this is even just based off of four and.
Let me tell you what, what shifted. Okay, so the first Sunday, 'cause I, when this episode is coming out, when I've recorded it is much earlier. But I was on a vacation at the beach so I had to figure out logistics like I hap to get to church on that Sunday and there was. Taxis involves I remember, calling someone is where we were in our hotel. It took a little while to get to where you could pick up, a driver, a ride, and the phone wasn't working. I remember I was like, what's happening? I can't get to the people that needed to. So I did [00:10:00] even catch myself rushing downstairs and part of this experiment was to take the rushing aspect out of the day.
And so I so noticed that rushing anxiety immediately that like hurried energy and that little tightening in my chest and I, but I caught myself because of how I decided to be intentional about Sundays. And then I said to myself, I talked back to myself. I was like, no, no hurrying. It will be all right.
Stop. Take a breath, take your time. And guess what it was? I arrived to mass in plenty of time. And it was so beautiful. It was open air, it was palm trees, it was a beach breeze through the church. It was like, it just, it wasn't fully four walls, like it was open. And I wasn't wondering like, where, how much longer or would this, I'm hungry, I gotta [00:11:00] get to breakfast.
I wasn't checking the time. Okay. And I, even just the feat of getting there, even on vacation, I know that I don't always do that. And there's no, there's no shame or guilt or any judgment for those that don't. But I saw that as soon as I decided to do this experiment, I really shifted.
I really was like, it might not be easy. 'Cause it was like 25 minutes away from where I was to get to this mass. But I just saw that it became important that I, with this intentional decision to practice the Sabbath. And so in this experiment, I just wanted to be like I was thinking to myself, I'm so glad I went to this effort.
Like it was so worth it and beautiful. And then like where I was, like I said, it was, from where the hotel, it was like, 25, it took us to this place that [00:12:00] had a marketplace and people selling cool things. And as part of my Sunday Sabbath, it wa I had decided that this would be a day where there wouldn't be shopping.
Like the urge to go, especially like online Amazon or Target runs. Not like that. I do that on this vacation this first weekend, but I was literally put where it was like in a place that had cool things and it was like a little uncomfortable for me to be like, no. That's not something I'm going to do on this day of rest.
That's something I can do on the other six days of the week. I did think about buying something I saw like for my daughters, and then I said, no, I want to see and this experiment through and what it would be like to not put my time and energy towards shopping. And I also was like, if I [00:13:00] really want it, I could come back here.
I could buy it on another day. And it wasn't about depriving myself, it was literally about the intention I set for honoring the Sabbath. Okay. And so on that day, some of the other notes that I had written down that happened is I actually FaceTimed my kids that day and I was so very slow. And present on the call.
I stayed on the call until I remember my one daughter until she wanted to leave. I was just very Hey, I've got all day. I don't have anything to do, but listen. And the next day when I, 'cause that day I did not check my email, I did not check social media. The next day I just noticed something.
My mind felt a little cluttered again. There was definitely a contrast [00:14:00] in my mind. I was like it felt so like freeing on the Sunday. And then I watched how Monday it was just like, okay, now I gotta get on it. I gotta do all these things that I couldn't do before. But again, this was about the experiment.
It was just noticing and oh, that's interesting. But then I also think about it and think that if I didn't, wasn't intentional on that Sabbath, do you know what my mind would've done? It would've checked the email, checked the social media. It would've bought this stuff, right? Maybe it wouldn't have had been intentional about getting myself to that particular mass while on vacation, but I think I also would've had that same cluttered.
Feeling So it would be happening almost every day. So even though it happened on that Monday, at least it didn't. I did have the one day where it was a break. Okay, now the second Sunday, I'm home here, and I had decided that one of the tasks that I wasn't [00:15:00] gonna do that I actually just saying what is real for my life.
I was somebody who was doing laundry on Sundays. I actually picked that as my day. I don't do laundry throughout the week. I pick one day to do it, and it was Sunday. And so with this experiment, I decided, you know what? That's one thing I want to try and rearrange to do on another day. So that second Sunday home I watched how I had to just, again I intentionally made a little switch.
I did walk to mass that day. I, the rest of the day, I remember I took a long walk. I stretched, I lit some candles. I read some more of that beach novel that I had brought the week before. But this time I was watching snow fall, right? I actually took some time. I remember it, what in my bedroom and chair looking out the window and I just really watched it.[00:16:00]
Even the birds that were still there. Later that night we had a fire and I took time to just bite and be silent and stare at the fire. That Sunday there was space. I just noticed the space and it really felt amazing and this was going a lot. Again, it was so intentional when you're have the intention of having silent time, of more prayer, time of reading, of slow, that you're not doing x, y, and Z home project.
You end up doing things. That's right. Even I remember back at the beach Sunday, the one before I was intentional about watching the clouds pass and move. Okay, I'm gonna move on to the third Sunday. 'cause on this Sunday, something deeper happened. Bad news came in from a friend, a [00:17:00] true tragedy.
A family member reached out to me needing help, and normally my mind would have weighed those interruptions against my to-do list. It just, it would have. Because prior to this, I kept Sunday, like Saturday Ooh, what do I wanna do? What do I wanna get done? It was the same as any other day.
I. And, but because of this intentionality, because of this experiment, because I was really purposeful about creating this day as a day of rest, this Sunday as special, as sacred, as acting and moving as if this is a Sabbath. There was no to-do list. My mind literally said that to-do list happens again on Monday when I pick back up in the week and I [00:18:00] realized something.
I was available for this friend, for the tragedy and for this other family member that reached out who needed help. I was available emotionally for them. I was available spiritually for them, and I was available like in a practical way. And this, I've talked about this before. It was inspired by a wonderful client that I had a few years ago.
And we've named it the Ministry of Availability, right? It's just like being available for my kids to be able to talk on a phone without being rushed into hear and listen and have them be the one that gets off the phone. You, when you are, when you conduct yourself and choose to keep the Sundays holy, you are, you step into the ministry of availability.
So when you're not filling your day with busyness, you can minister to your own deepest needs and [00:19:00] to the people around you. And that Sunday I did feel divine promptings. I felt called to donate. To a cause. I actually had a lot of creative ideas and I know that was, most of them were for my business and how I can help you and things like that.
But I literally said, okay, you can pull the notes section on your phone, write down the ideas, and you will handle them tomorrow. But I don't think they would've come if I wasn't honoring the Sabbath. I feel like I'm more, was more of a deep listener to my spouse and I just, what I, the activities that I did embark on, I did it without multitasking.
I think that was also one of the real benefits and results. 'cause [00:20:00] I used to pride myself in being a multitasker. But I see that more that the constraint of focusing on honoring the day as sacred in a day of rest is actually making me more productive than somebody who multitasks their activities.
Okay, so the fourth Sunday, it poured rain and my husband was outta town, and I did notice that during mass that day, my mind kept wanting to plan. It is interesting. I was like, wow. I'm like, last Sunday felt easier to honor the Sabbath. And so it was interesting to say oh, here I am and I'm back. Like fighting with my brain about it.
It wanted to plan what was next and it started wanting to plan the rest of the day. It's like I saw how easily, it would be like, oh, you're gonna read until this time, or you are going to take a walk at this time. And, and, I didn't [00:21:00] judge that. I just noticed it. I didn't, and I didn't assign a meaning that was wrong or that's making it not be a good sabbath day or anything like that.
I didn't do that again, I just noticed and noticed and I kept notes about it just so I could talk to you all in a real kind of live way. I just saw how deeply like urgency is wired into me right now, and it's something that. I wanna retrain a friend's relative had died. Did and there was a funeral mass and I did think that this is actually a perfect Sabbath activity.
I wanted to go. And so I did. And it like, I wasn't. I, again, only knew this person who had passed through a friend, but I thought, this is what I wanna do. On a day of rest is obviously it was a, it was even a chance to have a [00:22:00] second mass that day, but I wanted to show my support for my friend.
And I just wanted to partake in a more holy activity and I knew that it would be something that would be, cause me to be calm and rest and again, take in some. Some kind of more godly, heavenly ways of taking my mind. And so I attended. And I did think that was just a great Sabbath activity.
My brother was in town and normally I might've thought, oh, wasn't planning, have other things to do. But instead I went to lunch with him and my mom, and my nephew and my sister-in-law, and I went with the effort. To just be with them and to be focused on what was going on with their lives.
So to ask [00:23:00] intentional questions about what was going on in their lives. And I just remember I had such a lovely time because it was, it had a, just a different intention behind it. That's, that, that's what I think I'm taking. Away from this is it so very easily to let that kind of day just unfold like the rest, and for it to get away from you or you to not do things like with a purpose behind it.
And when you ha, when you decide you're gonna honor the Sabbath you're just automatically putting more mental intention. Behind it, which I think reaps wonderful benefits for your life. And then later at home, I was sleepy. And this is not my usual mo I, I. I guess I'm just going all the time that it's [00:24:00] like I almost don't even have time to notice that I was sleepy.
So normally I would've fought it, but instead I was like, oh, this is my body telling me something. And I rested and I I still think, I just tell myself I'm not the type of person who takes nap, takes naps, and I totally fell asleep. But here's what I want you to hear about it, honoring the Sabbath is about identity.
It's who do you become when you live one day a week without urgency? That's what I wanted to find out. And who do you become when you are not producing all the time, and who do you become when you actually resist some of those things like shopping and emails and planning and organizing and catching up?
When you are not filling the space, what happens? [00:25:00] I think you become slower. And I say that in the positive way. I think you become more attentive and there's nothing like building more awareness in your life to get better results. You become less reactive, and I know. I hear you all. I work with women day in and day out and everyone wants to be more or less reactive, and that is definitely something that will happen.
Should you choose to wanna honor the Sabbath, I maybe in a different, more intentional way than you are now. You become more available and I know I haven't even gotten to this part yet. I know what some of you are thinking. Oh, that sounds nice, Danielle. But my kids, they have soccer on Sunday, or my weekends are packed.
I remember this. I'm not in that season right now, but it doesn't mean that I don't get your season, [00:26:00] or it doesn't mean that what I'm offering can't work for your season. You wanna watch your brain when you say that doesn't work for me right now. Okay. Now you also might be thinking our society runs 24 7.
Yes, I get that And right, that's what I want you to add. Not our society runs 24 7, so I can't do what you're saying, or you don't understand my life because I have this, and this. So that won't work for me. I want us to be like, right now, our weekends might be packed. Right now, there might be soccer that's scheduled on Sunday and that, our society is not gonna change.
Like there we're, we are, they're always gonna expect us and I wanna be like, yes, and [00:27:00] I can decide to rearrange a few things. I can decide that this now matters to me, so that maybe we don't sign up for the team that plays the games on Sundays. Do you know there might be one that doesn't, but until you decide and wanna get more intentional.
And I think when you make decisions like this, that God will put things in your path to help it make you it happen. And like everything, I'm not saying that you have to stop everything you have been doing on a Sunday and all of a sudden turn it into, again, don't use my examples against yourself, but what if you treated one hour maybe besides going to church on Sunday, an additional hour, you treated it.
Like the Sunday of rest, and that's where you started. You intentionally said, this [00:28:00] hour from this time, I'm going to practice the Sabbath. And that could be sitting in silence, right? It could be that you're going to, read the Bible that day for that time. It could be that you're going to just decide, I'm going to move my home project time that I'm doing that to another day.
I just want you to see, you wanna watch your brain when it tells you that you can't do this for whatever reason. Can we stop and pause and say, but what if I did, or why would I want to start honoring? If you decided this mattered to you? Especially 'cause that's what I'm offering you, that on the other side is more peace, more calm, more confidence if you become happier, healthier, holier.
If you feel more balanced. If you feel more [00:29:00] joy on the other side of honoring Sundays. As our Lord has asked us to, again, I never want you to take what I'm offering here and have to go to perfectionism about it, and I always wanna reiterate that I think small steps consistently is what builds the momentum for change.
So we don't have to change it overnight. I feel like I went into it pretty radically with my experiment, but it wasn't as hard. It wasn't that hard. So could you start small? Could you say, for now, soccer and that game is the only thing that we say yes to and do on Sundays. Again, could you request a different [00:30:00] team next season?
Could you do laundry on Saturday? Could you not shop on Sunday? Could you not check email? Could you go to mass and then guard the rest of the day just a little bit differently than you've done before? This is not about perfection and it's not about you just doing nothing. It's about direction.
And let me make this really practical for you because I know your brain is saying, okay, but what does honoring the Sabbath actually mean for me? Here are some tangible examples, not rules, not commandments, just possibilities to consider. Here are some things that you might choose not to do on the Sabbath.
You might not. You might choose not to check email, even if just for one day you might choose not to shop. Like [00:31:00] no target runs, no Amazon browsing, no online carts. You might choose not to do laundry or at least not start new loads. You might choose not to meal prep for the week not to get ahead. You might choose not to organize, declutter, or tackle house projects.
You might choose not to scroll social media. You might choose not to plan the upcoming week, like your calendar mapping or scheduling. You might choose not to rush, and just as important, here are some things that you, that might equal a Sabbath for you. It might be, going to church, going to mass without multitasking in your mind.
You might take a slow walk, even if it's with the kids in toe. You might wanna read something nourishing, just enjoyable. Maybe pray a [00:32:00] rosary without watching the clock, maybe sitting in silence for five minutes. What about taking a nap without guilt? What about calling a friend? And then really listening to them, like asking them questions more than you are doing the talking.
What about playing a board game? If you're in a place where you can watch snow fall or the sunrise, sunset, stare at the fire, sit on the porch, just being available. And here's the important part, mama. It is not about achieving some perfect aesthetic Sunday. It's about removing urgency. It's about stepping out of productivity and into being.[00:33:00]
It's about letting your nervous system downshift a gear. And this can happen even if your toddler is still melting down and even if there is a scheduled kid activity that day. So the question becomes for you, this is what I want. If you should take on the invitation to begin really honoring the Sabbath.
So that, 'cause I'm just not asking you to do something that doesn't have any kind of personal reward on the end. It's like a win-win. We're doing what God's asking us to be. We are going to be blessed. So I really went in with that. I wonder how my life will be more blessed if I put this at the [00:34:00] forefront, this way of honoring God.
But you might have had some misconceptions about what that actually means, and we don't it again, it, if you have this job or this routine that you. That you have to do something by Monday morning and you've been like in the habit of doing it. Sundays, maybe you decide your Sabbath is from, a certain point, 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM but then after that you might take care of something in the evening.
Again, like I, I just want to see what kind of switch you could start to make by asking yourself, how can I make this day feel different? Because Sundays are supposed to be different from the rest of the week. Our society isn't telling us that it is, but our faith does. [00:35:00] I love the question, how can I protect it?
Just a little bit more than the other days. How can I protect it? Why would you want to do this? Because your heart is craving it. You just didn't know how you might satisfy that craving. And I think that this is what my heart craved, but I just needed somebody. I just need, I just needed somebody to offer it to me and to give me a little bit of reminders or how it might look or release me from the perfectionism that my brain wanted to go to, that if I decided to do it.
You crave peace honoring Sundays as a day of rest. We will do this. You [00:36:00] crave non-urgent urgency. Honoring the Sabbath will create that for you. You crave joy that isn't squeezed in between tasks. Honoring the Sabbath will do that, give you that result, and here is the deeper truth. God didn't ask us to honor the Sabbath because he needed it.
He asked us to honor it because we do. We need it. Our mind needs it, our soul needs it. When you practice the Sabbath, you are practicing trust. You trust that the world will continue spinning without you for 24 hours. You will trust that emails can wait. You will trust that productivity is not your identity.
You'll trust that you are loved even when you are resting. Mama, if you accepted this mission, what would your Sabbath look like? [00:37:00] Not what should it look like? What would it look like for you in this season? Maybe it starts with one boundary. No shopping or no email, or no scheduling, just presence. I just wanna encourage you all, if you try it, do what I did.
Notice your thoughts. Notice when urgency arises. Notice when your mind wants to plan. Notice what it feels like in your body. Notice if you feel more available. Notice if Monday feels different, right? Do what I do. Maybe just notice it in a way where you either stop and pause, or maybe you do write it in your notes section.
So that you can tangibly start to accumulate and see, oh wow, yeah, there is some good changes here. This is an ever evolving [00:38:00] practice. I am really excited now to see what this next Sunday's Sabbath will bring. The next one and the next one. But I can already tell you that in just four, five weeks, it has shifted something in me.
There is more spaciousness. There's more listening, there's more willingness to be interrupted. That's right. You heard me right so much. We were looking as interruptions as our trouble spot, and now I'm like, Hey, I'm available. What's this interruption about? And that mama brings us to a more peaceful mind.
So let's anchor back to God's love here. The same God who created the universe rested not because he was tired, but he wanted to model something sacred to us. And that, and what it says is you are allowed to rest. You are [00:39:00] invited to rest. And rest is not laziness, it's actually obedience. And if this episode has planted even a small seed in you.
Some curiosity is there. Just let it sit there, like no pressure, just possibility with the question. I will leave you with today. What if honoring the Sabbath is the doorway way to the non-urgent life you've been craving? All right, everybody. Again, I want to thank Matthew Kelly and his book Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy for bringing this to my attention.
And I am just I'll be so curious. If any of you feel compelled to try this out and wanna let me [00:40:00] know what comes up for you. Please email me at danielle@daniellethienelcom. I'd love to hear about it. All right everybody. I will see you next week and until then, may peace be with you. Always. Thank you for listening to The Peaceful Mind Podcast.
If you've been feeling a quiet desire for more peace and steadiness in your motherhood, I invite you to take the next step by scheduling a Peaceful Mom strategy call. At daniellethienel.com you'll also find the link in the show notes. It would be an honor to support you at any stage of your motherhood journey.
