Episode 91 Transcript
You are listening to episode 91 of the peaceful mind podcast.
welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Before we get started today. I just want to let you all know that my group coaching program busy to balanced is open for enrollment, and I would love for you to join. If you are ready to put into action, all the things I teach here on the peaceful mind podcast. This is where you are guided, supported, and coached to finally have the peace and joy and balance you want in your life.
And it's where I help you dispel all those myths and habits that have held you back from living your own God-given purpose. And from having the fulfillment you deserve. We're going to end the despair of always being in lack of time, lack of self-worth and doubting your capabilities will unlock and step into what's truly possible for you and for every mom out there.
This group is the catalyst for the emergence of a more balanced, peaceful, and joyous you in all aspects of your life. I get it that your brain will tell you all the reasons why. Now is not the time why you need to put the kids first, why you've already tried everything. And this is just how it's going to be.
That's what it's saying to you. And I want to tell you, I don't buy that at all. And the reason why I know so strongly and deepened my heart is because I was. But the tools, the skillsets, the concepts that you will get in this group are life-changing, it changed my life. It's changed thousands of others, and it is the reason why I do what I do now, because it can't stay a secret anymore.
I've got to tell you and help as many moms as possible. And plus I'm super fun to work with. And I'm all in on you. The question always. Is, are you willing? Are you willing to take the first step to go all in on yourself? And for those of you who are contact me in all the usual ways you can email me directly.
I answer all my emails. You could go to Danielle tinel.com. You can join the wait list. So I know you're interested or go ahead and schedule that free piece strategy call, where we can talk about what if the group is a fit for you at, at, at this. And you can also direct message me on Instagram. Danielle Thienel coaching is where you can find me.
And in the show notes of this episode, there'll be a direct link to more details on the group itself. Okay. Now let's dive into today's episode. I want to talk to you about silently suffering. I'm not shocked anymore. When I hear my clients tell me that. How it's been for them or they'll, they'll tell me that they were too afraid to say anything because they would be embarrassed or they even tell me when their struggle first happened.
Like it was when they were kids, their kids were younger and now their kids are often on their own. So I can assume and see that it was a long time. And I'm always so curious to find out what it was that kept. With this struggle, this issue, this challenge for so long without getting the help they needed.
When I say silently suffering, how I'm envisioning it is that you have some kind of pain, some kind of struggle, a challenge, a circumstance that's negative that is arrived in your life that you think about in a negative way. And then you keep it to yourself. You go on living your life without talking about it, without telling another human being.
This is what I mean. And so you are with your thoughts about whatever the challenge or issue is, and this is even old thought patterns that are about your own self-confidence of self. And what I know is that we have these thoughts about ourselves and what's happening in the state of our lives that we think over and over again.
And so that they feel like facts and very true in our bodies, but that is not always the case. And so bringing it to life. Sharing it with someone or at the very least getting them out of your head and onto paper. This is where thoughts become things. It's the very first step. Even then maybe you yourself can see them and see them as, as they are not facts.
Uh, see them as truly just a sentence or phrase that you are thinking and believing. So. I just want to dispel this at the beginning. If there's something that's going on in your life and you have this belief that you are the only one that no one else would understand. I just want you to stop and think about that for a moment.
There are how many billions of human beings on the earth right now, and how many that lived before us. Do you really think that there isn't anyone who has gone through what you have? Is it that unique? So I want you to just kind of open your mind today to think there's at least one, probably a dozen and then most likely hundreds.
And then the facts are probably thousands or hundreds of thousands that understand and know what you're going through and you are not alone. And if you are someone who shares in a particular faith, do you know that there is a God that is always with you and knows everything about you? And is not judgmental or angry.
And for that know that you can talk to him and that you aren't ever, ever alone. So there's no need to suffer in silence. When we have this persistent thoughts, there's a phrase that I learned years ago. And I can't actually quote where it come from. I can't remember. We're talking about a couple of decades from a book.
I'm sure it was a self developmental development book that I read where it said what you resist persists. I always like that one helped me so much in that if there's something that I didn't want and I'm like, no, no, no, no. I was like, oh, if I stay in resistance, it's just going to keep happening. Keep coming back.
So when I remembered that phrase, What you resist persists. I was like, it allowed me to then open up and step more into what was happening. Come to acceptance that this is reality. And then where, what can I like, what steps can I actually do about it? And it helped it, it helped it. Right. So just know that when you sit there and think about what it is, that's going on, whatever, maybe symptoms you have that you're suffering with, or the certain circumstances or what you wish was not happening in your life, or maybe it's, you know, there was an actor, a behavior that you did, that your brain is telling you that, you know, you're no good or not worthy, or, you know, feeling guilty about it.
Just. That if you resist and don't face it, it will persist. When we talk about the, when we go through the feelings work that we, I do with a lot of my clients, talk about how their feelings really drive all their actions. Just notice is what you are silently suffering with. Are you trying to avoid that attack?
Are you resisting that? That's what is, that's what happened? That's what's happening to you? Or are you jumping into like a reaction, like I need to just try and fix this by myself and try everything avoid react resist. I want you to maybe open up today that, to know that the piece you're after is to come into actually.
Being with these negative feelings, you're suffering and feeling them and allowing them and letting them past pass. And one of the concepts I wanted to bring up in this episode is isolation. I wanted to see is your silent suffering. Having you isolate more from. Your community, your family. We are all, hopefully we're coming out of and starting a new phase of this pandemic that we have faced for years.
And that was one of the things that, that we were all sort of, kind of made to do, which was isolate, right. Six feet apart, stay home. And then if we were alone, then we're just isolating ourselves. And this. Weeks and months and years. And it can, it can feel like a new norm, but I just want to ask you, are you, have you isolated yourself?
Can you take any steps forward to get back into a little bit of community? A little bit of fellowship. I mean, it could really be just a chatting with someone at the grocery store who's like in the bread aisle with you or something like. We, what groups were you a part of? What, what groups would understand, what you're suffering with so that you can join them.
And then having, getting out of isolation will also show you that you're not alone and then you won't be in resistance anymore. You'll actually be in acceptance because. If we don't take those little steps, if we don't speak it out loud, if we don't get our suffering out of our head and take small actions to emerge ourselves into a community, then what your brain will do is that it will take the negative thoughts that you have about whatever's happening about whatever circumstance you're dealing with or challenge.
And it will grow because wherever you focus. Grows it intensifies, it just layers on the negative thoughts become easier to think on our, our brain will have us then soon believing that those negative thoughts are true. And then your inner critic is just, again, it grows, it gets more solid. And then that voice in your head, it feels like the two words that I use most in my coaching to explain the action is either ruminating.
Right. I just think about you're ruminating. You're just kind of like sitting in like a stew, a pot of soup on the, on the oven. You're just, it's hot in there and you're just sitting in. Right. Or that the voice in your head feels like it's a spin. It's just a cycle. It's just the same loop of spinning thoughts, the same one over and over.
Like, I'm not good enough. Or I shouldn't have done this, or I can't believe this is happening to me or when will I ever change or when will this stop? And I don't like that. This is what's going on in my life. So we need to hear. We need to bring what it is that you're suffering silently with out into the open come out of hiding.
Let it, let it get some fresh air and sunshine. Right. We feel like we've, it's the time of year right now. If you're listening to this podcast, as, as I release it, right. It's spraying. Summer is coming and things are starting to bloom. And all I want to do is get out and have some fresh air and some sunshine.
And I want to invite you that whatever you're silently suffering with to do that, bring it out for some fresh air. Now, the last thing I want to say is that this will take one of my favorite emotion. And that is courage. There's so much in our lives that we are scared and fearful about. And I have learned over and over and over again, how wonderful life can be when we not get rid of the fear altogether.
But like I tell my clients it's okay to be scared, but let fear be in the passenger seat. And let courage be in the driver's seat, drive forward with courage, knowing that that's what it takes. Sometimes that fear can come along. You will be scared. Some things, the most magnificent risks we take and go for.
Right? A lot of times our brains will offer us all the reasons not to, and it will keep us in that. It takes courage to ask for help to reach out. And I know you have it there, and that is the most important step is to find your courage, to speak to someone, , to reach out and say, I need help. There are so many of us out there including.
Who tell you all, I am here to help. And so many people might not say that, but whenever they hear you say, you need help, they are so more than happy and willing. And as a person of faith, I'm always so honored to be able when someone asks me for something to be able to help them, because that gives me a chance to step in, to being Christlike.
And so it is, it's a favor you do for me when you ask me for help. And I know wherever you are in the community that you're around, there are other people that also think this way. And so all of you who are listening to this podcast, first of all, I love you all so much. Whether I ever meet you, talk to you in person, or you are a client of mine already.
Love you so much. And nobody out there needs to silently suffer. Whatever you can do today. Get some courage to step out and to no longer have to be alone in whatever it is that you're challenged with today until next week. So much peace and love. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast.
Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own life to really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind. Using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life.
Transforming wisdom all through a faith-filled lens to learn more about how we can work together. Come on over to DanielleThienel com. There you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time. Peace be with you always.