Episode 104- Motivation vs. Commitment
You are listening to episode 104 of the peaceful mind podcast.
Welcome to the peaceful mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best bomb you are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.
Let's get started.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. We have a really special episode this week. I have Jessica here with me, one of my clients, and we are gonna talk about motivation versus commitment. And I know you listeners love when I have these interviews with my clients because they're few and far between I really haven't.
Very many and I get really good feedback from you guys. So here's another special treat today. So Jessica has been one of my one on one clients, and then she is now experiencing being in my group program. So let's welcome, Jessica. Hi, Danielle, how are you doing? I'm great. How are you? I'm so glad to have you here today.
So that was just my little introduction to you, but do you wanna say a few words about. Sure. Um, I, like you said, I'm Jessica and I live in Tacoma, Washington, so I'm just south of Seattle. And I live with my husband. We've been married, it'll be 11 years this summer and we have two girls. Um, our oldest is seven and our youngest is five and a half.
And I feel like I have the perfect. Balance of work and home because I get to be home about half time and I get to work about half time. I'm a nurse practitioner and I work in mental health right now. So that's what, that's what fills my days. So good. I love to hear about your little girls too. And. Very entertaining.
Yeah. And sometimes we coach on that aspect of, of your life, right. With parenting. But the reason why we're here today does stem from one of our sessions. You, we were talking and you said a phrase. That sort of stopped me in my tracks and it, and it literally was like, Ugh, it was like this light bulb. Like I bet you, that is what a lot of the moms out there are thinking.
And it was, you know, around, we were talking about, you know, commitment to our goals and getting motivated. And so here we are finally, I was like, I have to have you on to talk about that subject. So can you tell, or do you remember? I know I do, but can you tell the listen. Uh, what it was that you said that I wanted them to hear.
Yeah. So I said that my inner cheerleader was on vacation. I love it. Now tell me the context around that. Yeah, so we had been working on one of my goals is weight loss, and we had been working on the weight loss protocol for several months and it had been going really well. And I was seeing results that I was really pleased with.
And, um, I was feeling great. And then I just started to feel differently. I felt really blah, and just not very motivated. And it felt like my inner cheerleader was missing. It felt like nobody was inside just cheering me on. Um, and, and that was kind of how that, how that thought came to. Yes. And, and I wonder how many of you listeners out there can totally relate to this that we think sometimes we're like, where's my motivation.
Where has it gone? But the way that you worded it, that it was like an inner cheerleader. And I love that envision where we, we need to be that for ourselves. Right? Like we need to cheer ourselves on, you know, cuz sometimes there isn't people. AKA our children or spouse on the outside who is doing that for us.
So the fact that you, you know, I, I just totally gave me the vision of the cheerleader and that it was, the cheerleader was on vacation was even more wonderful. So where do you think that it was vacationing? Like where was it? Oh, that's a good question. um, you know, I, the more we coached on it and I realized there is no such thing as an inner cheerleader, right?
Like that was a construct that my brain came up with. Just like, there's no wagon. I fell off of. There's no cheerleader. There, there is no inner cheerleader. And for me it was motivation and motivation. Such a, such a, a high energy feeling. It was so revved up and, and excited and motivated and just such a high vibration feeling.
And that is what had left. It wasn't really my cheerleader and it, it, to be honest, I don't think that that high vibration state is even a sustainable feeling, right. If I felt that forever. It would be overwhelming. right. So I, I think that it was just a shift in feelings and that now to me feels very normal at the time.
I thought, you know, my inner cheerleader had left, but I just recognize it now as. A shift in what I was thinking and feeling. Exactly. Yes. And so that's something that I just wanna highlight right now that someone out there listening may not understand, especially if they're a new listener, that what I most likely said to you at the time is that there like is no actual tier leader and no, and it's no, not on vacation actually, but that you were thinking differently.
Than what you were a few weeks ago, when you did feel motivated, because as everybody knows, I teach that your thoughts are what create your feelings. So I'd love right now to even just talk about what actually motivation is. And like some of the thoughts that we think that, you know, create us feeling motivation.
So of course, I went to the Google for a definition and I have that motivation is a general desire or willingness. Of someone to do something. Okay. So, and I love that they, the word desire, because what I know is that motivation is a feeling that is created when we have a thought that creates that feeling for us of motivation.
Right. So in this instance, I'm sure I pointed out to you that it was actually the change in your thinking that had motivation. Right, right. So is this like, is this something that before coaching, you like felt a lot where you would get, feel motivated and then not feel motivated for things? Absolutely. I feel like before coaching, I thought that motivation equaled success that without motivation, I just was never gonna achieve my goals.
And so I would get really excited. Things, lots of things, cleaning or weight loss or whatever. I wanted to knit at one point, like whatever those things were, I'd get super excited and then the motivation would fade. And I would always kind of think, well, this is where I quit. This is where I fail. This is where it's not gonna work.
Um, and so I used to equate motivation with success and. Since coaching it's been amazing because I just see motivation as like one of hundreds of feelings that I could have. It's not this secret sauce to life. And the only way I'm gonna succeed is if I'm motivated, it's just one of hundreds of, of feelings that I can have.
And, um, that was really empowering. Yes. And then the reason why I have the title of this episode is motivation versus commitment. The difference in you wanting to feel motivated or thinking prior to coaching that motivation was the way to success. What actually will have you achieving the goals you want is the feeling of commitment.
Now, a lot of times we start out with a thought that drives us feeling motivated, right. And inspired. So then we go take action. But then that pooing out so to speak is literally where your brain maybe gets fatigued or it just isn't focused on the same things that it was in the beginning. However, commitment is a way to ensure that you reach your goals because by the definition of commitment, commitment is have, when you are dedicated to a cause or activity where you show.
and follow through. That's the key. That's the difference? So the feeling of commitment is where if, if you create the feeling of commitment to get something done, that means you will show up and you will follow through without giving up. So in with motivation, it could, it, it leaves us, right. It's like the cheerleader on vacation because.
You really need to have the thoughts that will sustain motivation, but by definition, commitment is the one that will do that because it means that you will won't stop thinking in that way or that you won't give up in your actions. So you're going to be you'll, you'll hit your goals. You'll get to that success that you were thinking that motivation was gonna do for.
I know that was just a lot. Did that, did that make sense? Was that even clear to you, Jessica when you heard it? Yeah, definitely. And when you offered me the thought that maybe I could feel committed and still reach my goals, instead of feeling motivated, it felt so much more sustainable. It felt sturdy. It felt like something I could hang onto much more so than, than motivation.
So it was, it was. A really nice shift. Yeah. So a couple analogies that would help with what I just explained about the definition is motivation is like air. You only know it's missing when you are gasping for more. Okay. That's good. Yeah. So, right. So then, you know, you, we do our daily life and we're not sitting there going, I'm motivated to get this done.
I'm motivated to get this done, but as soon. You see that like for, in, for instance, your example, that you're not doing the same things you were doing on your weight loss journey, then all of a sudden you're like I'm missing my motivation. Right? It like becomes, but really what we know what is happening is that your thoughts about your weight loss journey have changed.
And that just that awareness. Can help you then recommit yourself to that journey and see how, like it would take re deciding to a commitment. Um, it's also, I loved this one. It's also like steam, like steam can just be there or when properly channeled it can power a train. So as I teach in my coaching program, it's feelings that drive all of our actions.
So instead of concentrating on what we need to do in life to hit our goals, we really wanna concentrate on how we are feeling. And of course my, my main mission that I repeat over and over again is for moms to realize that nothing's more important than how they feel. We're not gonna feel great all the time, but we do wanna make a concerted effort, whatever it takes to get us back into that higher feeling vibrations.
Um, because then. It's going to propel us into the actions we want and show up as the most effective mom that we are. So even just see that steam exists, like motivation exists. It is there for us to choose. Like, it is a feeling for us to choose at any moment, but when steam is properly channeled, it powers a train.
So if we properly channel our thoughts. Towards creating the feeling of motivation for ourselves. Then there is no stopping what action you will take to, to get things done, you know, and to, and to get our goals. It's a little combination of both, right? We've gotta, we want motivation. And then we have, we wanna be committed to make sure it's inevitable that we reach our goals, but it is also just something to know that it's available for us at any.
When we're not motivated. That's okay too. But we can re decide to think thoughts that we can feel motivated. Any thoughts on that? Yeah, no, I, I agree with you and I really like those analogies. It's, it's fun to think of the, the one for air feels most accurate for me. I don't notice it until it's missing.
right when it's gone, but even just helping people realize that it's not something outside of you that you wait for to Mo to, to feel motivated. Right. Um, the example for myself is when I work out in the morning, I don't usually wake up feeling motivated to work out, but I most certainly am committed to my physical health and, and I don't rely on motivation every day.
Sometimes more than others. I, you know, I'll have some motivation in the morning, but mostly I don't, but that it's the commitment that I have to my physical health and not stopping. That is what gets me to finish the workout every day. Right. Can you tell me, what do you think about motivation and commitment for you right now in life?
Like I knew what it was like before, and then during coaching, it's come up of how you were thinking about how it would, you know, come and go. How do you look at it now? That's a great question. I, I feel like I just see motivation and commitment as options. Um, I see them as just some of the many feelings that I could have, and I don't really, I, I don't really attach.
Value to them or, or this belief that I have to have them, or it's good if I have it or it's bad if I don't, I feel like I just see it as, as an option. Right? All the feelings are options and all I need to do is think what I need to think to achieve that feeling. And so if I am in a place where I'm not feeling very committed or motivated, I can ask myself, what would it take to feel.
Motivated, what would it take to feel committed? And, um, if I start thinking those thoughts, it's nice to know that I can kind of generate those feelings for myself if, if they're lacking. And was this something that you had been looking at this way before coaching? Oh, no. Not at all. not, not even a little bit.
I, I just thought feelings were what happened and I didn't have control over them. And, um, they were a result of the circumstances, which I know now is. Completely completely wrong. It's, it's the thoughts that I was having that would generate the feelings that I never would have. I never would've come to that before coaching and learning the model and it, and it's not that you were wrong.
There's a lot of us who, if myself included who, before understanding coaching and the coaching model, which is an awareness tool that, um, that I talk about here on the podcast and that I, um, You know, coach and teach on in my coaching program, but it's just like, it's like, we didn't know what we didn't know.
Right, right. Um, but I do love to hear the feedback in how there is that definite change from before you came to coaching and then the work that we've done, like on your brain while you've, um, been committed to coaching. And then I just wanted my listeners to hear that there, there is a difference.
There's an. Right when it comes to. Absolutely. So, all right, well, do you have some ideas of what's going on in life? It's not like you have to share here that, that you want to be committed to, or you want to, um, you know, Rev up motivation for, well, I do still want to be committed to my weight loss journey.
I have a big goal for that. And, um, I will say more so now than ever before. Do I feel like it's achievable and that is huge for me because, um, I just know that if there are times in my life where I'm not committed for a stretch and I'm kind of coming off of one of those times right now, it's not a problem.
It's okay. And I know. That as soon as I decide to put my thoughts and my energy there, that I'll get right back on, on the path that I wanna be on. So, um, that's still very much a goal and something I wanna be committed to. And I always have goals. I wanna clean out the garage. this summer. We have a, we have a neighborhood yard sale coming up in a couple of weeks.
So I've got some big, uh, some big cleaning goals to commit to. Yes. And I love how you said to commit to right. So that is how I know that it will take place like it, that you will achieve it, or in your own words, you will be successful. Cuz if you are committed to it, it for sure will get done. That's so great.
Yes. Um, I wanna leave, uh, everyone with this last analogy about commitment. Um, I, I sort of wanted to do this episode to, to be able. To plant this seed in your mind that there is that difference that we don't wanna use it against ourselves when we're like moms that say just why can't I just feel, I don't feel motivated.
Why can't I just do it? Right. And it's literally like working against yourself. Right. But when you know that you have the power to. The, the feeling of motivation yourself. And when you don't, like you just mentioned Jessica, that it's not a problem. Um, but I also wanted to show you that if we kind of shift a little bit from thinking, we have to wait for motivation to shift, to creating a commitment, to something where we are going to show up, follow through.
But most of all, not that we have to. Perfect and go after it every day. But as long as you don't give up on anything, as long as you keep trying, as long as you don't stop, that will, that is commitment. And then you will reach your goal. So the analogy I wanna offer about that is that making a commitment is like opening the curtains of a window in your mind.
That once you go all in and commit to something without giving up, it's like opening these curtains and then the. We'll stream in. Okay. Jessica, do you have any parting words for my listeners? They, they love to hear from my clients maybe more so than me. I don't know, but well, this has been so fun. I would just want to say to anybody who's listening.
If you've been thinking about that piece strategy call, just do it. So nervous and scared to set up my own call. And I, I dunno why. I mean, you're one of the nicest people I know but I thought somehow was gonna be too much of a hot mess or it was gonna be like, Sitting down for a timeshare talk. I just didn't know what to expect, but it was so valuable.
Even that short call opened my mind to possibilities that I didn't know existed. And the hope that I got from it, that things could change in a real and meaningful way was, um, it was just amazing. So, um, if, if you've been on the fence, I know I listen to your podcasts for. Maybe months before I set up a call, but, um, anybody who's on the fence about a call it's it's, it's worth your time.
It's really a valuable thing. I appreciate you saying that, Jessica, and for anyone who is interested in signing up for my free P strategy, call all the information about how the call works and how to schedule one with me will be found in the show notes. All right, Jessica. Thank you so much for joining me.
I love chatting with you and, um, we'll just see everybody next week. Thanks Danielle. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast. Are you ready to take everything? I teach you here and put it to work for your own life. To really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you.
If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom all through a faith-filled lens to learn more about how we can work together. Come on over to daniellethienel.com
there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started until next time please be with you always.