Episode 150
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You are listening to episode 150 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom. You are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic. Mom Danielle Thienel
in the name of the father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hello and welcome back to the podcast episode 150. I just can't believe it's 150. Now, if you've been around a while, then you know that within the library of the episodes, there are a variety of topics to help you moms manage and up level and focus and just really bring an injection of peace and balance and joy to your busy mom lives.
And I would like. Invite you to just indulge with me for a while as I ask you that if it has impacted your life in a positive way, would you share it? I know that I love when others think of me and share something when they're like, I really think that this is something that you would like, and they bring into my consciousness something that I didn't even know existed.
And a lot of times that has been something that's been really life changing for me. There was a time when somebody shared me a podcast that got me into life coaching. Then into certification and doing what I'm doing right now. And if she wouldn't have shared that then, then who knows? So I just wanna ask and just know that I thank you in advance, but if you feel called to share this podcast with someone else, then that would be amazing.
Okay, so here we are at the end of the. We're about to begin another year, and this particular time we find ourselves when we are looking ahead to the new year and making some plans. This is when we make. Resolutions and goals for the new year are being set, and this is why I chose today's episode topic that I am calling the elimination Diet for Peaceful Living because going along with that resolution and goal time, this is when a lot of people do think about going on a diet of some.
We wanna make a resolution to stop doing a certain habit. Maybe like eliminate sugar from our diets, or even where we wanna eliminate something in our daily life. Let's say we bite our nails or I don't know, something, right? That's usually not good for us and we can really relate when we talk about shedding weight.
There's just some decision that we want to make for the new year that we think will better ourselves and that will help us have us stop doing things that we would deem as like a bad habit or just wanna change and don't want the same result. And I would like to offer that I have a different elimination diet that I want you to consider.
Taking on to your life this next year. Again, I'm only offering you something that perhaps you might wanna just try, just experiment with. Just gain some more awareness around, because I believe if you do follow this, And eliminate these certain things I'm gonna talk about from your life. You will drastically increase your peace and joy.
You will have so much more peace of mind and you will be. So much more enjoying your experience of your human life here while we are on earth, where it's not guaranteed to be smooth all the time, and where we won't run into things that we weren't expecting or issues and struggles and some challenges, challenge, and knowing that right now.
We are in the planning stage of the next year. I just want to shed light that knowing that the changes that you want and the new goals you wanna achieve require us to work on our minds and our emotions and that be a focus. And this will be why. You will feel supported and have the accountability you need.
If you are giving time and attention to what's going on in your mind and your emotions, that's what will be the greatest help to you to achieve those goals that you wanna have. So here is the elimination diet that I wanna invite you to take on in the new. And that would be that you would eliminate three things from your daily life.
Now, before I tell you them, I wanna hone in on this word eliminate. Okay? So I looked up the definition and eliminate means completely remove or get rid of something. It also means to exclude someone or something and, and exclude them from your consideration. I am using the word eliminate because I think it will help you better understand that what I'm asking is that if you stop doing these things all together, you will benefit greatly.
But I also really talk to you here about letting go the need of doing something perfect. And so I wanna offer that completely. Removing these things from your life isn't really the ultimate goal. What I would rather you think of it is, is I wanna stop and I wanna remove these from my life, but remember our coaching concept and tool that I named B minus, where instead of going after perfection, we wanna.
Make B minus be the good enough grade that we go and that the reason is because nothing will ever be perfect and we don't wanna stay in this kind of like action of striving all the time. And we wanna get results and we wanna just know that we're human and not perfect. So. I'm calling it the elimination diet, but I want you to know that when I offer you the three things I do still want you to aim for B plus, you might not completely get to remove them a hundred percent, and that's okay.
If you aimed for 80 and even 50%, remove this for your life, 40%, you are still gonna reap great benefits. Okay, so here are the three things that I invite you to. The first one is criticism. The second one is complaining, and the third one is confusion. So let's start with the first one. Criticism to criticize is when we indicate to someone or something their faults, and we do this in a disapproving.
You might not realize how much you are self-critical, or maybe you do recognize it and you see this as something that you wanna like lessen or eliminate altogether. I just want you to know that the reason why you would want to do this is what will make it something that becomes something you're committed to or that will be long lasting, right?
What benefit do we. When we indicate the faults of others, when we disapprove and vocalize that to ourselves, how does that serve you? What is the upside? Because really what's happening is that when you criticize yourself, you are just layering on more thoughts and more judgment. Building more evidence against yourself of why you are that thing or why you can't improve, or why something's wrong or broken or needs fixing about yourself.
You have this place you wanna go and then you maybe take some action and it doesn't go your. And so then we decide we want to beat ourselves up, and we think that that's gonna help the situation. When we get more critical of ourselves. Are we, are we believing that that's what's then gonna motivate us to change?
I then want you to think about if you're criticizing someone else, you're pointing out all of their faults, right? And it's being done in a disapproving. I want you to notice that you are doing that because you have some thoughts about the person, and then maybe those thoughts are creating negative emotion, which then propels you to take the action of criticizing them.
But when you do that, how do you feel and what do you create? From cri the action, from taking the action of criticizing them, I would put money down that it's not a result that's positive and really something that you want. But here's the thing, the reason behind it why you would criticize some someone else is because you want to feel better, but it really does the.
It causes you to have more thoughts that increase your level of emo of negative emotion and the person that is receiving the criticism, they also, and, and this is something if you're someone who, you are not the person who gives criticism, but you're on the receiving end of criticism, I just want you to know that where that fits in your model.
If you feel bad when someone criticizes you, is it because of what they. It's always how you feel. It's always gonna be created by what you think about what they say. And if you can remember this, then you will know that you have a choice every time to feel any way you want about anything or anyone, and no matter what they say or do.
So imagine your life next year if you decided on purpose. That I was going to lessen greatly or remove altogether the action of criticizing myself or someone else. And then even if you have awareness that you are, you're gonna pivot, or maybe you can recognize that you're in the middle of criticizing and then you stop.
I would just, I would just like you to take on the notion that this would be something really important and life changing for you if you had more awareness. Accepted your power to start or stop doing something, and then the next step of adjusting, catching yourself, saying something different instead of criticizing, focusing on something nice to say and kind to say.
And I mean that very much for both what you say to yourself and others. Okay. The second thing I wanna invite you in order to live a more peaceful life is for you to eliminate complaining. Complaining is when you express dissatisfaction or an annoyance about something, and it's also complaining. It's also when you state, it's a state that one is suffering.
So if you have a complaint, right, you might have a symptom or an illness there, there's some kind of like suffering from pain. Okay? But mostly what I wanna hone in on is that it's an expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance. And I wanna, I wanna hold and firm the focus on the word express. So what that's telling me is like you, you can have a thought.
Of complaining like, I don't like that. She should change. Things should be different. That's not right. You can have that thought, but what I want you to eliminate is the expression of it, which means you actually take it to the place of saying it out loud. Or again, telling someone this complain and criticize.
It's, it's really, it's a little bit similar, right? And it can have some overlap, but I'm trying to separate it in your mind to see that there are times when it, it is, it is different. We can complain just to complain, right? You can complain and say, Ugh, this apple isn't ripe, but that's not really like you're, Saying, criticizing like, oh, the, the store shouldn't sell an apple like this.
There's, there's a little bit of difference. And so are you somebody who complains a lot? Are you someone who complains like 50% medium? You would, you would say? Yeah. I do it kind of like in the middle. I just, again, Why? And it and it, and it literally is just a habit that has been formed where you take your thoughts that are negative about something and then you express them.
So it's the expressing one that I wanna say, can we stop ourselves? Can we not express it because we know. Putting complaints out in the world, putting negativity out in the world isn't something that you wanna do. And even if you put a complaint out in the world, but then afterwards you notice, you're like, oh man.
I was really just focusing on the negative there and really expressing it and telling everyone, talking about it and stuff like that, and it just doesn't feel good. I mean that is, that's okay. We're human. But I would like you to try to have more awareness around it to be like, you know, I want to lessen being a complainer.
I want to eliminate complaints altogether. I just want it to be more of this experiment where you're like, what if I just couldn't complain anymore? As much as my brain offered me a complaint, I just couldn't say it out loud anymore. How would my life be different? What would change? And this is kind of the attitude I would love for you to take on if you want to live more peace.
Okay. The third one is one that I do talk about a lot here on the podcast, and that is confusion. Okay. Confusion is a feeling and it's defined as a lack of understanding, uncertainty. It's the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about. When we model out what's happening and you're creating in your life with the feeling of confusion, with confusion going on, the feeling line of the model, and for any of my new listeners, it's the awareness tool that I use coaching, and I've, I've talked to a lot about it here on the podcast.
What I always will know is that the result that someone gets is going to have it. Almost exactly what they have always, where they've always been, because confusion is a feeling that doesn't spark action. And so without action, you can't get a different result. So we believe that we lack understanding, and then we also feel uncertain.
But really what we are is we're just unclear. What we want to decide to do, or we're unclear about how we wanna think about this or feel about it. And confusion feels terrible and uncomfortable in our body, but it just keeps you stuck in your life. And I wanna offer with the elimination diet that what if you decided you could never be.
Confused ever again. Did you know that that was even an option for you? That you literally could just answer the question, if I wasn't confused about this, what would I do? What would I pick? What would I decide? And then whatever your answer is to yourself, you then do that thing. It can be as simple as.
And after coaching countless moms, this is what I find to be true. Whenever you're thinking the thought, I don't know how, and then dot, dot, dot, whatever comes after that, it oftentimes creates the feeling of confusion. It's that thought that keeps us stuck. That notion that you don't know or don't have the.
And perhaps you then want to go do some research and ask some other people. That is fine. I get that we want to gain some knowledge, right? But actually acting on knowledge is what takes us out of confusion. I recently went to a life coaching event, and this is how the life coach. Named and mentioned this, this in between confusion state, you're over here a with a desire of wanting something and instead of making a decision on what to do next.
We stay in this state of confusion, thinking and believing the thought, I don't know how to do it, or I don't know which one is the right one, or, I don't know which one is the best one. And I love how she described this in between state of confusion. She described it as the miserable maybe. So you have this desire on one end and then making a decision will take you out of confusion.
But in the middle, you are in this pit that she calls the miserable. Maybe. Now, I've said before that whenever we think maybe that it keeps us stuck whenever we think, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't understand. I wonder why this is happening. And then this personal favorite came up recently with a client where it was like Jeff, for just for some reason, Blah, blah, blah.
For some reason, I don't understand why this is happening. For some reason, this is happening, and I always wanna come back and say, let's not be confused. Let's not choose confusion. If you had to choose right now what you believe is the reason for this happening, what would you say? And so I wanna empower you to.
Be on to yourself and then to decide that you're no longer going to let confusion be why you don't go after your dream life, why you don't go after the changes you want. Why you don't go after making peace a priority, because peace comes when you're not in confusion. It comes when you make decisions.
And get moving, taking action. So let's just think about this for a moment. I want you to step into the you of the future for a moment. Let's go to your future self. And you are someone who doesn't criticize yourself or others. It's just not who you are. It's not the thoughts that you think, and it's. The actions that you take of criticizing.
Okay. Then let's say you're a person who doesn't complain, so you don't express your dissatisfaction or you don't express your annoyance. Okay, let's just picture that. That's so if you're not complaining, then you're either own. Owning your own results, you're owning your part in something or you find what in, concentrate on what is good about the situation instead of what you don't like about it.
Or you're a person who instead of expressing dissatisfaction, you actually, you, you take control and take action on what you can do to change it. And then let's think of ourself as if. We're never confused that we had never even allowed ourself to say the phrase. I don't know if that was not a thought that was, that you could, that you were capable of thinking, who would you be?
And I can tell you who you would be is someone who just picked, who decided, who chose who act. That is what then propels you forward if you are not confused anymore. So that is what I would like to say could be the most weight shedding diet available because we are shedding mental pounds when we eliminate and.
Or you know, could give ourselves a B minus criticism, complaining, and confusion for our life. And I do know that everything that I offer on this podcast, that I try and communicate it in the most simple way to help you understand it and to apply it to your. And I hope that you are finding that that is working for your life.
And as always, I want to remind you that if you're someone who wants the next step, the deeper dive into the the help and support and accountability to eliminate these things from your life. I have a process and I have a, a toolbox full of tools and concepts that once you know and apply to your specific life areas, everything changes for the better.
And if you want. Knowing those things and having the support and accountability, then I am here and would love to talk to you. But if you are listening to this podcast right when it comes out, I want to wish you all a wonderful New Year, and I am so excited for what can come and the peace that you can experience if you take on my challenge.
To do a mental elimination, a mental diet of criticism, complaining and confusion. And if you are someone who takes this on, I would love to hear how it goes. So you can always email me or find me and message me on Instagram and all the information on how. Get in contact with me is always in the show notes for you to find.
Okay everyone, I will see you and talk to you again next year. Have a great one. Bye-bye. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Are you ready to take everything I teach you here and put it to work for your own? To really learn how to have peace of mind no matter what is happening around you.
If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind, using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom, all through a faith filled lens. To learn more about how we can work together, come on over to daniellethienel.com
there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started. Until next time, peace be with you always.
