Episode 155-5 Myths of Motherhood Holding Back Your Peace
You are listening to episode 155 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom you are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel
in the name of the father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Here we are. Another week has gone by. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for joining me on the podcast. I'm so excited for today's topic. I wanna take you back here a little bit, whether you have little babies or like me of teenagers, or you're a mama who has adult children who are no longer under your roof.
I want to you to go back to think about that time before kids. We had this idea of what our mom life was gonna be like, right? We had these envisions and just, you know, these dreams of what it would be like with when we're finally a mom. And today I want to debunk some of those myths that we had as mom.
Not prior to, because that was all dreamland. Right. And I wanna debunk the myth that now that we are in the midst of it all, we're in the messy chaos of motherhood. I know that there are some myths that we've been believing that are true and that actually are keeping you from having the. These myths are holding you back from being and enjoying being the mom you wanna be and enjoying wherever you are in your life.
And that's just what we're gonna do today. I've got five of them that I'm gonna address. and with each of them, we're gonna talk about what we've been been believing is true and then what actually is true. So let's get started. The first myth, being a mom means you have to give up your individuality and dreams.
But here's the fact. Being a mom doesn't mean sacrificing your identity. Your goals and dreams. There are many ways to balance being a parent and pursuing your passions. So a lot of us, yeah, when the baby comes, our life as we knew it is now different and will never be the same. and as you learn and grow and meet the challenges and issues of, of who you were before you were a mom, now overlapping with what.
Is true that you are taking care of another human being. And then in many of our cases, several human beings, there can be a period of pause on some of our individual dreams or some of our goals, but there is a way to work them in and be a mom. and there's an identity, and I talk about this in my coaching program.
One of my pillars is about, is it, well, two of the pillars. We separate our individual person like the you. If you think about there, there was you before you were a mom, and then there's the you after you're a mom from the role of being a mom and know that the individuality is always there. There's nothing that you're giving up now, we may not focus on that at at a point when we're in our motherhood.
Depending on what stage you're in, there's a different level of focus and care that we have to give to our kids at certain times in our lives. And so I want to debunk this myth that you don't have to give up anything, especially not your individuality or your dreams and goals. And I wanna invite you to think how is the identity that you had before, and this one as a mom benefiting you?
How are you even closer and progressing towards some of your own goals? And how are you reaching your dreams because you've become a. There's just so many ways to balance it. How can you do both? I love to put this question to our brain when, when it tries to lie to us and tell us that you are either one thing or the other.
You're, you're either you or you're a mom. You're either pursuing your goals or you're not. You're either, Have squash dreams or you're actively pursuing dreams, how can you balance being both? What would that look like if you were taking steps to keep that identity that you want and own that identity and go all in?
Right? As like, I'm a mom. And goals. How can you do both? How can you make a little bit of progress towards your goals and dreams and show up as the mom you wanna be? Enjoy that family, you know, navigate the challenges, the issues that arise with raising humans. So that is the first myth. Being a mom means you have to give up this individuality and dreams when in truth.
The fact is it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice those things. That there are many ways to balance being a parent and pursuing your dreams, and if you focus on them, then we definitely can make that happen for you. So number two, the myth. New moms need to know everything. So when I, when I read that myth, I'm thinking, All the books that I read before becoming a mom that was given like at my shower, you know what I mean?
But, well now I, when mine were small, I didn't have Google. I didn't have the internet. Um, but here is the fact. The fact is, is that parenting is a process and no one is expected to know all the answers right away. Those kids don't come with instruction books. and we wanna lean on family, friends, and other resources to help us navigate being a mom and I'll, I'm going to dive deeper into leaning on others in a later myth, but we want to just lean into and own you guys.
We don't need to know everything. And we don't have to have everything planned out or anticipate any, like all the challenges that are gonna come our way as they get older. I can remember my, my mind right now as I'm, I'm saying this went to when I was at the playground with my twins when they were small.
I know I put them over in the stroller, so I'm not even sure if they were walking yet. Um, and one of the moms started talking and she had a similar age child about getting into this certain school for kindergarten, and I really was like, um, I didn't even know that you needed to do that. and I, I could tell like the, the anxiety and the rush kind of coming up in my body, I remember I can picture the bench that we were sitting on.
And, and the truth is, is that you will be a different person. You'll have different knowledge, you'll have different experiences in that five years from now, you'll know more. You might not even live in the same place or have the same school options. So we don't want to. Worry that we need to know everything.
And again, like I mentioned, I didn't have Google at my fingertips. But now new moms, they, they, they have, you can, you can go on and research and find out the answers, but truly what you do know already is. . And, and as you, as we get older, as we have more experiences being a parent, we realize that it just, it unfolds for us that we need to just lean into the being a process of learning, of failing, of trying new things, new ways, and you know, leaning on other resources and learning new things and then trying it out and see if it works for your.
just the expectations of needing to know all of the answers right away. We wanna let that go. Okay. You will navigate being a mom just fine without having to have every detail and you know, instructions on what the quote right way is. You will be fine. Parenting is a process. and we won't know everything and that is okay.
Okay. Myth number three. Being a mom requires perfection. The fact is, is that it's impossible to be perfect. It's impossible to be perfect, not even just all the time, any of the time, and no one expects you to be. I just see moms put that pressure on themselves. . The fact is, is that parenting is a journey and mistakes are part of the learning process.
On the podcast, you might have heard me say before, we either win or we learn. So no perfection, and it doesn't even have to to if we don't. If we're not perfect, we don't have to look at it as a failure. There is an in between. And what I'd like you to know is that when we do make the ex mistakes and when we aren't perfect, it is such a learning opportunity because whenever we realize what we don't want, it totally sheds light on what we do want.
But being a mom does not require perfection and believing so is a. And if you want to go back a couple episodes, you can hear my podcast just on that subject about what the fact is, is that what you really wanna be is perfectly imperfect and that makes a parenting journey that is enjoyable. Okay? Myth number four is that it all gets easier and better as the kids grow.
Is anybody laughing out loud? Because I hear this a lot when I am talking to moms about the importance of self-care and the importance of putting themselves first and getting themselves to a place where they're so filled up that it overflows to their family and that they're a mom's energy is what?
The kids feed off of, and we wanna do our best to be staying in a place where we ourselves are happy. And then that in turn makes our kids happy when we are. But I love, I'm just, you know, every time I hear a mom say, That, oh, I'll finally to out, don't worry, I'm, I'm, I plan on taking care of myself. I plan on doing X, Y, and Z.
That is like self-care when my kids are all in school. Everyone, this is a myth that life will get easier, better, or that you will then. Make the time for yourself as kids get older, cuz this is the fact, each stage of motherhood, whether you have babies, toddlers, elementary or middle school age children, teenagers or adult children, it won't be better at a later time.
It'll just be different. In fact, every stage that you're the age of kids, Your life, you want to be 50 50, there's gonna be 50 positive and 50% negative. This makes up a big, full human life experience. There's always going to be a challenge no matter how old your kids are, and there's always gonna be something to celebrate.
And blessings to be found and things to be grateful for. It's 50 50 every stage. It's not better later. It's just different. You'll have different issues, different challenges, different circumstances that you will man have to manage your mind over, have to really like take control of that mental and emotional part.
It's just different. So I'm debunking that. , if you think that later it'll get easier and better, so that you're just gonna, you know, put your head down and, and plow through it and put yourself on the back burner until a later time. . I want you to debunk that myth today. I want you to realize that now is the time.
Now is the time to find joy in your life. Now is the time to not make challenges or issues a problem. Now is the time to soak up whatever age your kids are, and also now is the time to also focus on you 50 50 at every stage. Okay, we're to the last myth already, number five. The myth is you should be able to figure it out all on your own cuz the fact is we all need help.
Mothering is hard. Being a mom is challenging and we were not created to go at anything. In this life experience. That is why we are a human race. That's why they are billions of us. We aren't superhuman, we're not robots. Thank goodness. We are all individual human beings, and we only have so much capacity, so much energy, so much desire, and we need the support and guidance of.
Debunk this myth that you should be able to figure it out on your own. That's not how we were created. That's not how we're programmed. We hear this saying it takes a village, and that is a fact. Human beings are complex. There are so many circumstances that we will experience and not expect and will come at us in our life.
It. Teachers and medical professionals and family members and friends and strangers. It takes other human beings to help us raise our children, navigate this human life. The truth is we all need help. And let me tell you that when you go on social media and you see other people's families and you see their pictures and vacations and all the things that they're doing and how they look put together and all of this, and it leads you to compare and despair, I don't want you to use that against you.
because most likely it took a village, or they have help or they're delegating things. That's another thing that I recommend to you to do in a previous episode, but I guarantee they're not doing it alone, so you don't have to figure this out on your own. You can reach out because all of us, every single one of us need each other.
We all need help, and we are not meant to go at it alone. Okay? Mamas, if you. Just resonated with some of these myths. If you think that those are some beliefs that you have been believing, I'm telling you, they are holding you back from tapping into a piece that is available to you right now. So I'm just gonna recap so that you just have them again in your brain and realize that.
You are believing these myths. I wanna invite you and welcome you and just offer up to have a different perspective and focus on the facts that I offer as I debunk these myths. So myth number one, being a mom means you have to give up your individuality and dreams. The fact is that being a mom doesn't mean sacrificing your identity goals and dreams.
There are many ways to balance being a parent and pursuing your passions. Myth number two, new moms need to know everything. The fact is that parenting is a process and no one is expected to know all the answers right away. You can lean on family, friends, and other resources to help you navigate being a.
Myth number three. Being a mom requires perfection. The fact is it's impossible to be perfect and no one expects you to be perfect. Parenting is a journey, and mistakes are part of the learning process. Myth number four, it'll all get easier and better when the kids are. The fact is that each stage of motherhood, whether you have babies or any age, your children are, it won't be better at a later time.
It'll just be different. It'll still be 50 50, 50 positive and 50 negative in every stage. And myth number five, you should be able to figure it out all on your own. The fact is, we all need. Every one of us was not meant to go it alone, and we aren't superhuman and we need the support and guidance of others.
It takes a village. Okay everyone. That's what I have for you today. I hope it injects some peace into your mom life and just know that if you wanna take anything that you hear on this podcast to the next level, if you want a 10 x balance and peace and joy in your life, then I invite you to come to a free call with me and experience life coaching.
If you're ready to unlock all that's holding you. Come see the difference that life coaching can have on your life. And then I will always see you back here next week for another episode. Until then, peace be with you always, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye for now. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Are you ready to take everything I teach you here and put it to work for your own? To really learn how to have peace of mind no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind, using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom, all through a faith-filled lens.
To learn more about how we can work together, come on over to daniellethienel.com there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started. Until next time, peace be with you always.