157. Loving Yourself Without Feeling Guilty
You are listening to episode 157 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind. You need to be the best mom. You are created by God to be. If you wanna bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom Danielle Thienel
in the name of the father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let's get started.
Hi everyone. I'm so glad you're here. To this episode is being released on Valentine's Day, so it's no coincidence that I am wanting to have a topic around love, and in particular, I've chosen loving ourselves without feeling guilty about it. So I wanna start there. I wanna start with the guilt part so that we can just get that out of the way and jump straight into the love part.
because I want moms to love on themselves more, to celebrate themselves, to be feeling love, to give themselves love. And the reason why is because when you feel better, you do better and there is no better feeling. In the whole wide world, then love it is the greatest of all. So again, I wanna start with the without guilt part.
If you've been any like longtime listener for me, you will know that there are several emotions that I talk about that do not serve our motherhood, our mom life in any way. in a positive way, in a serving way, in a life giving way, life helping way. It's all the, all the ways that I can say is we just don't want to have this be a huge part of our emotional health, and that one of them is guilt.
The others just if you're curious, are doubt and worry and overwhelm. and confusion. They just don't help us. But guilt is one that I just today wanna remind you. It, first of all, is self-inflicted. It isn't by what you do or don't do. That creates you feeling guilty. Guilty, like all the other emotions is created by what you're choosing to think about what's going on in your world and in your.
but we want to help us, you know, help ourselves move forward in life and to show up as the mom that we wanna do. And in order to do that, we have to be, those actions have to be driven by feelings that are going to help us ultimately. But guilt is an indulgent feeling that doesn't help us. And just like I have done an episode on.
I do realize that there are going to be times because we're human, because of how our brain works, that we are going to think thoughts that create us to feel guilty or worried. But I'm just trying to help you realize that more often than not, we wanna bring a consciousness around. When, how much time we are feeling guilty and we wanna lessen it as the least amount of time possible.
Feeling guilty is what we are after, purely because of how it will keep you from taking the actions and being your best self and showing up and creating the results that you want in your life. So just know that it's optional. , we can do anything without feeling guilty about it because we are in control of creating that.
Okay, so now I wanna dive into loving ourselves, loving ourselves without feeling guilty. Now you know that I'm gonna have to talk about self care. Just being a mom is one of the most rewarding, yet challenging experiences that a woman can have, and it's so easy to get caught up in the daily tasks and responsibilities of motherhood and neglect our own needs and desires.
But it is important to remember that in order to be the best mom that we can be the one that God created us to be. We must first take care of ourselves and love ourselves, and I often say love on ourselves. So the importance of self-care. We often put the needs of our children and families before our own, and I get it that there are going to be times when this is necess.
but on the regular if, if that is how we are operating and carrying out our mom life, it can lead to feeling burnt out and stressed and resentful. And self-care, it's just about taking the time. Remember, it boils down to we have a certain limited amount of time and energy and that we cannot do it all, and that something will have to give.
And there are trade-offs. But when you become someone who believes deeply and passionately, passionately, It matters a lot for you to make the time to do things that make you feel good both physically and emotionally. And yes, it can be as simple as taking a relaxing bath or going for a walk or reading a book.
It's just, and it can be deeper. It can be you. Just connecting with friends on a regular basis. It can be, of course, attending mass and church and carrying out the sacraments is also something that's very, you know, checks off the self-care. Box and I know that life coaching and having my mind regular managed and having the guidance and support of someone that helps me remove the obstacles that I can't see that's going on in my mind and my heart out of the way is for sure, checking off the self-care box.
So it's important to love yourself. By scheduling regular self-care activities into your daily routines and making them a priority, and then of course doing this, carrying it out without a mindset full of thoughts that create the feeling of guilt for you. We absolutely can even just make the time and do something very self caring for ourselves.
Quote, ruin it or not have the, like, the full impact and you know, result that we're after from that self-care. If while we are in the middle of laying in the bath or out on a walk, or going for a massage or having a coaching session, if we are carrying around the thoughts. that I should be with the kids and this is taking away from them and I'm not.
I'm spending too much time away from them or This is selfish. See? See how those thought patterns that create the feeling of guilt will just zap out all of the results and intentions that you meant to take in the first place when you wanted to fill yourself up and love on yourself. So the second thing I wanna talk about is the power of positive self-talk.
I've done several episodes about this. Go ahead and, and look up the one that's called Best Friend versus Bully Brain. I really do love that one. And just generally talking. About how you talk to yourself matters. Your thoughts can have such, not can have. They do have such a powerful impact on your emotions and actions.
And if you constantly are telling yourself negative things such as, I'm not good enough, or I can't do this, it can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt. And remember I talked about how that doesn't serve us or help us, the self-doubt, you know, in any way to propel us forward to creating the mom life that we truly.
And on the other hand, when we practice positive self-talk, such as I am capable and I am doing the best I can, it can boost your confidence and help you feel more positive about yourself and your abilities as a mom. And remember what happens when you feel better and more positive, then we do. . It's also super important for you to surround yourselves with positive and supportive people.
So if you are loving yourself, you aren't. Isolating yourself. You're not trying to go it alone. You are regularly, regularly, you know, calling upon your faith principles and, and Christ for conversations together so that you can be supportive. Being a mom can be isolating. and it's easy to feel like you're in it alone.
So joining a support group regularly attending, you know, fellowship events at church, or reaching out to friends who understand the challenges of motherhood. And again, I have to put a plug in here for. Having a life coach, a personal life coach, so that you are surrounding yourself with not only positive, supportive, non-judgmental, loving person, but someone who also has the experience and the tools to just focus on your pinpoints of your mother in life, who is an expert in this subject on how to equip.
In the challenges that motherhood brings and all of this, friends, coaches, you know, church community provides valuable emotional support and a sense of community. So it's just these things. Of positive self-talk, of regular self-care of surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people. This is how you love yourself.
And then when you mentally leave the thoughts that you shouldn't be doing it away. Ones that don't create guilt, leave that out of the. and then you will be loving yourself and loving your life. And let's just talk about the importance of loving our lives, because as moms, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities, and then we, we make that become a habit and a pattern of not remembering.
and we lose sight of the bigger picture that we have going on. And the bigger picture is that we get this one life and that time is a limited resource and that if we don't enjoy it now, Then when are you going to enjoy it? Because we don't know how much time we have left. We don't know the number of days remaining in this earthly experience, and it's important to take a step back and remember the things that we love about our lives, what is going well, what we have done, that's amazing.
What we love about what we've surrounded ourselves with and what we've. And the things that bring you joy. And it can be as simple as finding small moments of pleasure in your daily routine, like taking a sip of coffee while watching the sunrise rise. or as a, as big as planning a vacation with our family, I love when it's even like a vacation that's gonna be, you know, kind of far away because you get to find little moments of pleasure as you're thinking about and planning and, you know, waiting for that time to come and arrive.
So I just wanna leave you today. Especially if you're, I don't know if you're gonna be one of the hundreds or thousands who listens to this podcast on the day that it comes out. But you know, anytime you've, you find this episode and you bring more consciousness to loving yourself, it is the perfect time of the year.
But I know we often look on this day on Valentine's Day about, you know, Gestures and love notes, and love gifts from from others, but I want you to know that there is nothing more important than you loving yourself. The relationship that you have with yourself and being a mom is an amazing and challenging journey.
So by taking care of yourself, practicing positive self-talk, surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people and loving your life can be, you can then be the best mom that you can be and live a fulfilling life. So love on yourself today. Make it your job on the regular. Don't look to others to do this for.
Create love for yourself, deepen the relationship you have with yourself, and that is what I wanted to offer you today on the episode. Okay, everyone, thank you so much for joining me here. And I just wanna tell you whether you're one of my current clients, whether you're a past client, whether you are a future client.
I just wanna tell you that I think about you often. I have a heart of service for all of you because I know that what I offer here today and on the podcast can really change your life for the better. And I just wanna tell you that I truly love you. All right. Have a beautiful week and I will talk to you again soon.
Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Are you ready to take everything I teach you here and put it to work for your own life? To really learn how to have peace of mind no matter what is happening around you. If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind, using life coaching tools, concepts, and proven life, transforming wisdom, all through a faith-filled lens.
To learn more about how we can work together, come on over to daniellethienel.com there you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started. Until next time, peace be with you always.