You are listening to episode 195 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host certified life coach at Catholic mom, Danielle Thienel in the name of the father of the son and of the Holy Spirit.
Let's get started.
Well, hi there, beautiful mamas. It's Danielle here and ready to embark on another journey to cultivate peace in your hearts. In today's episode, we'll explore four things that you can release from your lives today. Potentially multiplying your peace tenfold. We are going to 10x your peace because everything here on the Peaceful Mind Podcast is geared towards you having a more peace filled life, a more joyful life, and really balancing it, feeling on top of things and more in control of your life.
And so today we're going to do that by concentrating on what Would help you so much if you let go of these things We're gonna jump right in and so we're gonna start the first thing to let go of if you want to 10x your peace And your peace of mind is people pleasing We have all been there haven't we?
changing our opinions muting our desires overextending ourselves Just to please someone else But what's the cost? The cost is our genuine selves get lost and it can be exhausting. Now, it is one thing to be in service and doing things and having this desire to please others when it is coming from a place of you know, certainty and a place of and, and real desire, but where I want you to know that it gets in our way is when we are people pleasing, essentially saying yes and doing things for others when inside we are really wanting to say no for some other reason.
We know what our priorities are and what really matters in our life and what we want to be focusing on, and then we can be spread thin when we say yes to others, change our opinions because of others, and And like I mentioned earlier, I called it muting your own desires. So picture this, you're hosting a family gathering, and instead of planning a menu that you're comfortable with, you go out of your way to cater to each and every one specific liking.
Exhausting yourself in the process. Now there's one thing to do a kind gesture to find out if you have any like allergies or things like that, but when you decide to have someone over to your home, you can notice that your brain might go into, well, I have to cover all my basis to make sure that everybody who arrives is happy.
And we ultimately run ourselves ragged in the pursuit of people pleasing the masses. So in this case, when we find ourselves people pleasing, we want to start setting boundaries. We want to know that it's okay to say no or to put your needs first. I would like to invite you to start small. So for instance, the next time someone asks you a favor that you have checked in with yourself and know that you genuinely don't have time for, you can graciously decline.
The urge to people please might seem, it might not seem like a big problem. It might even seem noble on the surface, but over time it does erode your authentic self. So take that family gathering scenario that I mentioned and know that when we overextend ourselves to cater to everyone else's tastes, it not only exhausts us, but it also subtly sends a message to our family that our own desires are secondary and there is an impact to this because continual people, people pleasing will cause burnout and as moms, we set examples.
If our children see us constantly prioritizing others at our own expense, notice how I'm not saying not to prioritize others or be of service to others, but at our own expense again and again, they might grow up believing that their needs should also come second. And over time, this will breed resentment to you both internally and within the family.
As your own needs go unmet. So, I want to urge you to practice assertiveness with this, to drop your people pleasing. To begin with small acts, like expressing a preference in a group decision. And over time, you'll find that it will empower, not just you, but your children too, to voice their feelings and needs.
Okay, the second thing I want you to let go of to 10x your peace, I want you to let go of holding onto people and situations that are not serving you. Sometimes, for the sake of peace, familiarity, or even fear, we stick with people or situations that we know aren't right for us. And the weight of these attachments can be very heavy.
Maybe there's a friendship that's been draining your energy, and every interaction leaves you feeling a little less like yourself and a lot more stressed. So reflect on what you truly want in your life, and if certain relationships or situations aren't in alignment with that, it may be time for a change.
Consider having an open conversation with that person or seeking guidance through prayer about how to move forward. It said that we are reflection of the company we keep. Have you heard that? I'm not sure where that quote comes from It's like it's like you're the product of the five people you most hang out with or something like that But so it goes what happens when we stick around draining situations or with people who pull us away from Being our true selves, right?
We want to be able to get some more consciousness about that and consider those energy draining friendships The ones that every, every time you engage in your left feeling empty or anxious, because if you don't, if you keep them around those situations and those people, then the constant negativity will impact your mental well being.
Your family might start noticing your dwindling energy or your increased irritability. And over time, holding on to those relationships or situations can inadvertently introduce tension into your home because, remember, you do help set the tone and set the example for that. So periodically, just evaluate relationships that that you're in and ask yourself, does this relationship uplift or drain me?
And if it's the second one, if it's the latter, then consider distancing or seeking guidance on nurturing healthy, healthier dynamics. Okay, now we're going to move on to the third. What, what I want you to let go of so that you can 10X, 10 times your peace starting today. And the third thing is. This need to be right.
Oh boy, man, I, I can totally look back to a former version of myself and was like, that was me, the need to be right. And right, wanting to be right. It just stems from a place of pride, right? At the root of it, but at what expense? Because often relationships strain under the weight of constant debates and disagreements.
And I, and I also remember thinking it's going to feel so great to prove myself right. And a lot of times I would work so hard to do that, and when I did, it didn't really feel as good as I was imagining that it would. So let's say that you and your spouse are bickering about a parenting decision.
Instead of seeking a middle ground, like, maybe both of you, like, dig your heels in insisting on being right. So what, what does that get you, right? But what if we practice more, like, listening to their thoughts about the situation instead of arguing for our own? And what might we learn in that listening?
All right. How might they be right? How might their idea be something that you could open up yourself to and try and just see and maybe, just maybe, it's better? Maybe, when in a disagreement, instead of formulating your own response and formulating it really fast, genuinely listen. After understanding, maybe you approach the situation with a little bit more empathy, maybe you ask a lot more questions.
Or even ask yourself, is being right more important than being at peace? Standing our ground does feel empowering, I will agree with that, in certain situations. But when the urge to be right overshadows our relationships and the connection that we desire so much to have in those relationships, we do risk alienating those that we love.
So remember that bickering with your partner or with your spouse about parenting that I just mentioned? When neither side gives in, it's really also not just the adults that are affected, right? Because kids, they are keen observers. They pick up on unresolved tensions. That's for sure. This is why I want to get you mamas feeling as good as possible because of this reason.
Because when they see that you are unsettled and unresolved and stressed, it can lead to their feelings of insecurity. And over time, the family dynamic can shift because of this, leading to a household that learns to prioritize individuals being right over, over the togetherness. So I'm just asking you to embrace a little bit more humility.
and recognize moments when peace is more crucial than proving a point. And I know that you and your family will benefit. It'll be a more harmonious environment where your understanding of each other Just outweighs like the ego that comes with that desire to be right and when you let go of that need to be right I promise you're gonna 10x your peace okay, and now we are to the last one that I want to offer you today of what you can let go of and That has a little bit of irony in it since I focus on busy moms And I and I do know your great desire to get a lot done in the short amount of time that we have, but I want to urge you to release the urge to always be productive in a world that we all live in that often measures worth by productivity.
It is hard for us to give ourselves permission to rest, but hopefully one thing that you know within your heart and I know that I have tried to get this message across to you is that you are already a hundred percent worthy. Purely because you exist, purely because you were created by God, because you are a child of God, already answers that worth question that you ever have, and it's not related to your productivity.
Rest is vital, not just for our bodies and our minds, but our souls too. So, on Sunday, And while we always have those great, you know, plans to relax, I want you to, to shake off any of that guilt of not ticking those, the tasks off of your to do list. Instead of rejuvenating, which we're, is the whole point, right?
Of a day of rest, you end up feeling drained and maybe drained from the mental battle you're having because you're thinking, I'm not getting anything done. But I want you to actually schedule in your downtime, like you would any other appointment. I do this for myself. I put in the fun things, the rest things, the things that fill me up, I put that on my calendar first.
So give yourself permission to relax, read, pray, or simply just be. Now there's an idea, right? Do nothing and understand that productivity doesn't define your worth. Your innate being as God's child already does because there's a certain pride that we have from feeling accomplished And getting everything done that we set out, but when rest becomes an afterthought We then risk our health and tranquility and we're definitely not Balancing our lives, which is what I want for you So ponder that Sunday guilt thing that I just mentioned a day that should have been about rest becomes about relentless doing, and we want the opposite, a day that would be relentless doing, we want to be more about rest, because overworking will lead you to exhaustion, and I hear that a lot, right, from mamas who are saying, I'm just so tired, but as fatigue sets in, you might find yourself snapping.
At, at little irritant, irritants, right? And then it, then that leads to you feeling bad about yourself because you just yelled or something like that. It might lead to disagreements between you and your spouse or your kids and your spouse might begin to feel that actually you getting all the things done is more important than, you know, spending quality time with them.
I don't know, as you hear this, I'm wanting you to kind of ponder and see, do you need to lessen your grip of, of needing productivity? And are you attaching that to your worth at the moment? So I love to invite you this week to schedule some moments of nothing, and I know it'll feel counterproductive to some of you, but these pauses are rejuvenating.
and they will increase your peace. They offer clarity. They ensure your present during those family moments, which I know you all want to cherish them more fully. Okay, so I'm going to just do a little recap of what I brought to your attention today, of what you can start to let go of, and maybe you, one resonated or you struggle with one more than the other.
So just pick that one and start taking small steps toward letting it go, releasing it. Or you could just decide today that you're done, like you're no longer a people pleaser and you are going to take a different route going forward because you cherish and want to grow and 10x your peace. So I invite you to let go of people pleasing and to let go of holding on to people in situations that are no longer serving you.
I invite you to let go of the need to be right. And I invite you to let go of the urge to always be productive. And when you do that, I am certain. I'm certain that you will move, move closer to being the mom that you want to be. And I know that letting go is never easy, but I also know that it is the pathway to peace.
And in releasing these burdens, you create room, room for serenity and joy and genuine connections with those you love. All right, my dear mamas, thank you for joining me in today's episode. I hope this serves you as a blueprint to identify what you might need to let go of, allowing your peace to flourish.
And remember, you are deserving of a life filled with peace. So until next time we meet, may your busy mom life be filled with grace and serenity along the way and peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review.
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Or a self study course, I've got you covered. Explore my private one on one packages, join my busy to balance group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course, Divine Time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at www.daniellethienel.com
com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching and also, don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method, how to call on your God given power to remain calm. in control and confident as a busy mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.
www.book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.