How To Stop Feeling Inadequate
Feelings of inadequacy can come up at any moment, especially if you’re pushing yourself to go after those big dreams.
Perhaps you are thinking thoughts like:
- I’m behind.
- How do others do it better than me?
- I’m not good enough at ______.
- I’m always falling short.
- I must be doing something wrong.
- What am I missing?
When you think thoughts like this, you will notice feelings of inadequacy creeping in. This is coming from your mind, and it ultimately won’t drive and fuel you into the actions you need to take to get the desired results.
So, what can we do? We have to start by questioning those thoughts.
For example, when you think you’re behind, I like to say there isn’t a time that you’re ever behind. You’re always right where you are meant to be. What does it even mean to be behind or ahead? We are just exactly where we are.
You could choose a thought like, “I’m where I am. Where do I want to be?” This puts your focus on now and the future instead of this false belief that you’re behind.
If we believe that others do it better, we look to others to judge our progress. This gives control to other people and causes us to, what we in the coaching world call, compare and despair.
When we look at how everybody else is doing in their life, then it makes us feel inadequate.
I want you to know that it is possible for you just to focus and stay in your own lane.
Yes, people are in different places in their lives and will have different gifts. But, when you’re focusing on others, you’re not focusing on what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re good at. As a result, you’re missing out on what’s going right in your life and tapping into thoughts that bring on feelings of inadequacy.
Now I’d like to offer you some tips that will help you learn to believe in yourself, no matter what.
Tip 1: Picture yourself succeeding
It can be something simple like a meal you want to make or a hobby you’ve begun. Perhaps it’s a business that you want to start. Whatever you want to do that you feel too inadequate to start, I want you to stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself succeeding. Hold that picture tight and never permit it to fade.
This picture is something that you can hold and redirect your mind back to and as you do, your mind will go out and seek to develop that picture as long as you’re holding it there. That’s what the brain does. It always wants to be right. It scans the world, and what you’re focusing on will be drawn to you.
Never think of yourself as failing at that goal. Never doubt the reality of the mental image that you’re holding and the impact that it has.
Tip 2: Voice a positive thought
Whenever a negative thought concerning your ability comes to mind, I want you to voice, out loud deliberately, a positive thought to cancel it out.
Personally, when a negative thought comes to mind or out of my mouth, I realize that I don’t want to create that. I will literally say out loud, “cancel that!”
Our thoughts are our creation power. They are so powerful! But the key is that you have to really believe your thought to have them come to fruition. The more you can be aware of your thoughts and keep them positive, the more positive results you can expect.
Tip Three: Understand your brain
When doing these kinds of imagination exercises, your brain will come in and offer you all the obstacles of why and how you’re not even going to reach your goal.
The motivational triad or lower part of our brain is built to have us avoid pain, seek pleasure, and be energy efficient. So as soon as you decide and declare this big, lofty vision of yours, that part of your brain will start to speak up loud and offer you obstacles.
Instead of believing your brain, try to minimize the obstacles it is offering you. Question them and explore what some things are that you can do to deal with them.
But remember to look at those obstacles as what they really are - thoughts. Then you can figure out ways to go through the obstacles or just have them disintegrate before you even meet them.
Tip Four: Focus on being the best you
Nobody can be you and do you as well as you do. So when you compare yourself to others, you will have thoughts that can trigger that feeling of inadequacy. That feels terrible.
I want you to remember that we don’t want to be copies of other people. I want you to focus on the qualities you have that no one else has. All you need to focus on is being the best you.
God Is For Us
A scripture I love in Romans 8:31 has become a very helpful mantra to me when I’m hit with feelings of inadequacy.
It reads, “If God is for me, who can be against me?” It is so comforting and empowering to direct my mind here whenever it wants to tell me that I’m not good enough, that I can’t do something, or that I am behind.
God is always for what we want in our hearts. He wants us to succeed, to try, and to know that he’s there to pick us up in the hard times. I know I can handle anything because God is alongside me.
I encourage you to try these tips the next time inadequacy comes into your heart or thoughts and bring yourself back to the power you have inside of you.
I’m Here to Help
If you’re ready to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you, I’d love to be your coach. I use life-transforming, proven life coaching tools, and concepts all through a faith-filled lens.
If you want to see what working with a life coach is all about, schedule a FREE peace strategy call today.
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