A pile of failures may not sound like something fun to jump in to, like a pile of leaves or maybe a pile of money would!
But what if i told you that accumulating a pile of failures was what will lead you directly to a pile of money and a pile of fun?!
It's true. Money or fun or accomplishments or freedom, whatever you are trying to reach for, will be attainable through failing and failing again and again.
In the scientific method you take a guess on what will work, you fail, you try a different way, you fail and you keep going until you get to what you were looking for.
The same method is also the way to getting what you want in life.
Taking on something new and doing things you've never done before feels scary and hard, especially because we want to know all the steps to get there.
We want to know exactly what to do, but we are filled with self doubt and fear of the unknown. This is actually a very good sign!
It tells us that it is something of importance to us,...
This week I want to share with you a perspective that was passed on to me by a fellow Catholic mom, life coach, AND physician who is doctoring during this pandemic.
She sent me the message via text and I knew i wanted to share it with you right away.
I don't know who the author credit should be given to, but I am certain he/she meant for it to bring relief to those who need to hear it.
And so I try to help in that effort as well:
"Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.
God: I know. Want to talk about it?
Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know.
God: Let's talk about it anyway... We've done this before.
Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or stronger of something by now.
God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed.
Me: Okay. So, I'm afraid I'll do everything I can to protect my family and it...
My daughter yelled up from the basement, "Dad, I need your help!"
She discovered a swarm of bugs all around her ballet bag that had been on the downstairs floor.
Turns out the bugs were termites.
At first, my mind went racing down a rabbit hole of how awful this is with the stay-at-home order during a pandemic and all.
How will we get someone here? Have they done any damage? How much will it cost?
But instead of indulging in a stream of thoughts that would make me feel awful, I immediately asked myself the question, "How could this be a good thing?"
I redirected my mind to think- "So glad we discovered these now. We have a family friend who is in the termite business to call. It's not a life or death situation. We will handle it and be fine." I immediately felt more calm
Turns out, discovering the location of where the termites were coming in the house then lead us to know that our sump pump wasn't working!
Because of the termites, we were able to divert an even larger...
It doesn't take much to distract us these days.
There are conveniences on every corner, and I don't just mean a Walgreens Store!
It is easier than ever to satisfy our desires for thirst, hunger and connection because of modern technologies like running water, food delivery and FaceTime on the iPhone.
But every time we feel like we have finally arrived.
Finally marked off all the to-do's on our list.
Reached the goal we set.
Have the amount of money we needed.
The feeling of peace, success, achievement, arrives but soon it is replaced by a new task to conquer.
It will always be fleeting.
Unless we go to the one place where peace is everlasting.
Our relationship with Christ.
We can easily be caught up in the way of the world- strive for the best, you can do it all, more is better.
But this way of moving will always leave us wanting more.
There is only one place where we can find an everlasting peace.
It is found within our relationship with Christ.
You want things to be perfect.
So what is wrong with that? It can be a great human strength.
For things to be a certain way, look a certain way and have them done the "right" way.
You have an innate drive to achieve, to succeed, to have more, and to be more.
Again, what is wrong with that?
The answer is- Nothing is wrong with it. Being a perfectionist can be perfect for your life- if it's working for you.
But if its not, then its probably time to take a different approach.
One where your need for control is lessened, your fear of failure overcome, and your tendency to keep quitting on your dreams stops.
It's possible not to squelch your hardwired drive for excellence AND use the best of perfectionism to reach your fullest potential.
Embrace all that is serving you well and learn to let go of the rest.
P.S. Curious to know more about how life coaching can be the thing that makes all the difference in your life? Try it for free. Sign up here...
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Ancient ruins, White sand beaches. Blue mediterranean waters. Adventure and romantic relaxation.
There was plans for a celebratory vacation to Greece, however, plans needed to be cancelled as our country takes measures to protect ourselves from Covid-19.
Prior, to HAVING to cancel, my inner spirit gave me subtle nudges that something wasn't quite right with timing of such a big trip.
Because of having built up a habit of connecting with God, His son and the Holy Spirit, I have learned that when I don't feel peace about something, it is a signal that I need to pause, pray and seek a higher guidance.
We started planning months ago, hired a travel agent and paid our deposit.
I usually love all the time that leads up to actually going on the trip because it's full of anticipation, excitement and it usually means a couple of new outfits!
However, there wasn't a sense of peace, even as soon as the day we sealed the plans.
Patience is a virtue that isn't easily accessible to us Type A mamas.
I know that's just a belief I have and not necessarily true, but it feels true to me.
This week, I talked with my coach about how frustrated I am with a goal I set for myself.
It seems like it's taking forever! It feels like it's never going to be fully realized.
She offered a helpful analogy which opened my mind, allowed an air of knowing to step in, and now I know my goal is coming soon.
Here is what she said:
A woman decided to learn how to ride a unicycle. She had never tried before and knew nothing about how to ride one.
For 11 long hours she tried different ways, experimented, wobbled, fell, bruised herself and bled trying to learn how.
At times it was hard, frustrating and even painful.
The whole time she didn't know when she would finally reach her goal.
She tried and failed for 11 hours.
Then, on the 12th hour she got it! She now knew what to do. She learned how to ride a...
Last week during ski lessons while on a family ski vacation in Colorado, I found out my ski instructor was 92 years old!
This was so fascinating to me, because before I found out his age, I witnessed the agility, strength, vitality and articulation of a man half his age.
I had to know his secret and so I asked.
His answer didn’t include having good genes or even exercising or eating healthy, though I am sure he would say, they were in the mix.
But he answered simply with “My Mindset." He went on to say that he learned early on in his life that Attitude is Everything and he chooses to have a good one.
I saw this good attitude and positive mindset in action as my instructor, Al, reminded me and the other students, on the slopes, with his instruction:
This past week I was taking my son and his friend to their school basketball game which was 30 minutes away from our home.
I volunteered to drive my son's teammate along with us because I knew his mom had endured a stressful and overwhelming couple of days.
Her husband was out of town for the week and a disastrous dishwasher leak forced her and the kids to live in a hotel until it was fixed.
She eagerly took me up on my offer to help and I was so glad to give her some respite from at least one activity on her list.
When the boys and I arrived at the game, my son's friend realized that his mom, who gathered his basketball uniform for him while he was at school, had packed the wrong color uniform.
There wasn't another uniform option and to his utter disappointment, he now couldn't play in the game.
The anger and frustration, directed at his mom, welled up inside him and compassion for his disappointment welled up inside me, especially for his mom.
Everyday as I travel on this entrepreneurial journey, I am met with waves of self doubt.
As I do things I have never done before, I wonder if I am capable or good enough, because it feels scary and hard.
In addition to doubting myself, there are all kinds of other feelings I encounter, like fear, vulnerability, frustration, overwhelm, impatience, rejection, and confusion (to just name a few) Is this what I signed up for when I set out to do the work of building a coaching practice?
We get these big ideas and begin to go after our dreams. But inevitably I run into an obstacle and challenges and the little voice of doubt calls out to me. It tells me I don't need to change and grow.
It says things are just fine as they are, save your energy, avoid feeling uncomfortable and just stay safe with what you know.
When it gets hard and it feels terrible, we have many modern day advances that allow us to escape from feeling our...